Entertainment News

Karmin - another one for the 2012 new sounds to watch selection

2012-02-13T18:32:00.001Z

Another great new track. This one's from Karmin, who I thought must come from Ireland for some reason but actually hail from Boston. Not Boston, Lincs but Boston, New England, Massachusetts. Good pop and jazz and a little modern rap thrown in for good measure. Not sure about Amy's dancing in the rap breaks but nice to see a live band genuinely live here and this goes in the Hit selection of my 2012 Juke Box Jury. Whatever happened to that show?

It's just as well the States are excluded from Eurovision!

Eurovision 2012: Cyprus. Ivi Has All You Ever Wanted In A Disco Track

2012-02-13T14:58:00.001Z

Whatever happens in May, you'll be hearing this as it's bound to be an enormous summer hit throughout Europe. One day the States will get it too but not just yet. We're talking Trance, JLS, Lady Gaga, short skirt, legs, Night Club and almost every hook and trick that can be thrown into a pop song. There's some annoying autotune and the otherwise lovely Ivi Adamou does have a slightly unnervingly large mouth but this is the track that should bring Cyprus douze points from nations other just the traditional UK. It's all good late 90s stuff and if Ivi performs well on the night this could be a winner.

Perhaps next time they record her for the official site they might try and persuade the audience to look a bit happier (getting some young people in there would be a good idea for a start) and someone needs to give the girl some ideas as to what to do with her legs which occasionally seem to be at odds with each other.

Eurovision 2012: Norway PR Director Vacancy

2012-02-13T14:26:00.000Z

Now here's a performer that should guarantee Norway a few million votes from admiring young females, and no doubt plenty of males too I suppose. This is Eurovision, I must remind myself. Impossible good looks, a lot of gyrating, all the grasping-the-air and clenching-fist moves you can eat and a track that could have been a Wham 'B' side. All good stuff and this should see Norway in the points again this year. Well, it could if they can attend to a couple of things - they need to get rid of the extraordinarily ugly dancers or even the younger viewers will be put off and the name. I mean, Tooji! Good grief. C'mon Norway PR people, get your act together.

Eurovision 2012: Iceland Commercial

2012-02-13T13:55:00.001Z

Iceland have been nothing if not original in many of their efforts in the past to get us all to Reyjavik one year so it is a bit of a surprise to find them with a commercial number for 2012. Nice violin and a strong pop ballad from two reasonably good-looking singers in smart evening dress. The blonde female sings and plays the violin which gets dumped somewhere as as she and the guy do the touch hands bit and get into gear for the build up at the end. It's just all a bit late, though. That was 2010 or 2011. Still, for all I know it could be the theme that 2012 voters like too so it stands an outside chance as things stand at the moment. Here's the live version at the show where they won the local competition. Sorry about the red flashes which I guess come from the trial software used by whoever published this.

Three New 2012 Tracks For A Change

2012-01-30T16:56:00.001Z

It's not often I promote new bands but today a couple, Toy and Fixers have caught my attention, thanks to Digital Spy. One other too, St Etienne returning after many years' apparent absence. All three videos here for you to decide for yourself if we'll be hearing more of them. It's time the British charts got a bit more interesting!

Toy - Left Myself Behind

Think Cure and someone I can't put my finger on. I'll edit this when I do!

Fixers - Iron Deer Dream

I kept thinking Beach Boys. Quality music but not so sure about the artwork or theme.

St Etienne - Tonight

Familiar but welcome and very professional. Not sure if it's enough to get them noticed again in a big way but I like it.

It's The Whistle That Gets You: France's Eurovision Entry

2012-01-30T15:36:00.001Z

If the French guy had mimed to the superb pre-release version last year then France may well have won. But he didn't so now they've switched from soaring operatic style to techno-ballad with a whistle. It's the whistle that gets you. Written by William Rousseau and Jean-Pierre Pilot, who wrote the current top spot in the French's charts, this is one to look out for. With a major tour set for the Spring, too, I get the feeling that France are determined to get the tourist business for 2013.

Albania decides for Eurovision 2012. Time to hide behind the sofa.

2011-12-30T11:53:00.000Z

My first reaction was to hide behind the sofa but on second play it has some merit, although there are some seriously wrong notes for my taste here and there. The choices are slowly being made for countries' entries for Eurovision 2012. Albania here with something that will either be a Top Ten or completely fail to make it past the semis. No half measures. It'll certainly get talked about a lot, though. And if that's an indication of the fashion trend for 2012 then I shall get an awful lot more work done next year.

As I said ... Little Mix win X Factor 2011

2011-12-12T00:22:00.001Z

Well that's that then. Not a lot to say really. Coldplay were good. Westlife were predictable. Marcus did his best but there was this feeling running through the whole show that it would end with Little Mix jumping with joy and saying OMG a lot.

If anyone did manage to get hold of the winner's single by Amelia that was briefly advertised on the HMV site during the week then they probably have the best version of that track as well as something of a collector's item as I presume hers and the Marcus one will now have been melted down and the plastic reprocessed for more copies of Little Mix's main competition for the Christmas No.1, that choir hymn that Chris Evans has been playing virtually non-stop for the last few weeks.

One thing that was quite nice - Tulisa looked genuinely pleased.

Now, can Simon's altogether more superior efforts across the pond produce a Melanie v Josh final that both acts deserve. Follow me on XFUSA as I bid farewell to XFUK for another year.

Guess what: Little Mix win X Factor.

2011-12-10T20:53:00.001Z

It's Final time after what seems to have been best part of a year. And what do we get? Dermot dancing. That's weird and must be some kind of in-joke or dare. I can hear the producers now: "Right, how idiotic can we make Dermot look tonight?" They'll dress him as Santa tomorrow and have him bouncing Louis on his knee.

Then we get Peter Dickson banking a nice pile for an endless bit of shouting, Tulisa in a dress that looks like something you'd put on a doll not a supposedly cool NDubz singer. Gary makes an extra few bob too as they all sing-along-a Gary song and, at last, we get on with the show. Oh, no, now we get some home town visit, back story and goodness knows what. After an age Marcus actually sings. He does Hey Ya! and, to be fair, does it well. Nice job and that won't do him any harm at all. What didn't look good was Scooch as backing in the blue air hostess uniforms and, at one point, I am sure he was straddling a jumbo which was not a sight to behold.

Little Mix next, well, after we watch them go to High Wycombe, Romford and South Shields to what looked like quite small crowds but that may just have been the camera angle. Instead of aeroplanes we get motorbikes for some reason that totally flew over my head. They had YMCA to support them. With You've Got The Look they really did not impress anyone. Yes, they do look good and do have the look, well, three of them do, but that was no winner's performance. They'd have been out first week if they'd done that eight or nine weeks ago.

Amelia Lily sang Ain't No Other Man and sang it very well, really showing how much better she is in so many respects to the four girls before. It may not have been the song that anyone's going to remember, though, and think 'Oh I must vote for her' afterwards. You just kinda watched, thought it was pretty good and moved on. She'll need something much smarter next time. Thereagain, they all will.

Gary took the place of Scooch and the aeroplane and sang along with Marcus for the second track, a Billy Joel number, Always A Woman. No comment. It was nice. Nice. Not inspiring or anything to leap up and down about.

Little Mix then came along and I guess Tulisa was up there two, not that I noticed. They did another mash up and the first bit was instantly forgettable, not very good but they did make up with the second section which actually showed, for the first time tonight, that they can be good. But not brilliant.

We haven't had the wow factor that you usually get on X Factor Finals. The track that one act does that makes the show worthwhile, even if they don't win. An approximation to a wow factor finally arrives when Amelia Lily duets with Kelly. Forgetting the dancing, which was not a pretty sight, this was a cool and very good performance.

There can be little argument that Amelia and Marcus are by far and away the better acts but I just have this feeling that it's the Little Mix Show this year.

X Factor 2011 Final Song Choices

2011-12-10T19:00:00.001Z

This information from the good people at tellymix this evening. It appears that whilst Marcus and Little Mix will be presented with all the glitter, fire, smoke, background effects and stage decoration, choirs, dancers and gadgets imaginable, Kelly is just shoving Amelia onto a small stage and hoping for the best. I suppose all the added distractions will disguise the miming to their backing tracks. Amelia has also been trying to get a different Christmas song to do so we're not yet sure which of the two she'll do.

You do get the feeling all this is going Little Mix's way... Should be fun to watch, though. Expect a ghostly presence from Simon at some stage over the weekend too.

Marcus
Duet with Gary Barlow – She’s Always A Woman by Billy Joel
Hey Ya by Outkast

First audition song – Signed, Sealed, Delivered by Stevie Wonder
Favourite performance – Reet Petite by Jackie Wilson
Christmas song – White Christmas by Bing Crosby

Amelia
Duet with Kelly Rowland – River Deep, Mountain High by Tina Turner
Ain’t No Other Man by Christina Aguilera

First audition song – Piece Of My Heart by Janis Joplin
Favourite performance – The Show Must Go On by Queen
Christmas song – All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey / I Wish It Could Be Christmas by Wizzard

Little Mix
Duet with Tulisa – Mash up of Empire State Of Mind and If I Ain’t Got You, both by Alicia Keys
You’ve Got The Love by Candi Staton

First audition song – Cry Me A River by Justin Timberlake
Favourite performance – Don’t Let Go by En Vogue
Christmas song – All I Want For Christmas Is You by Mariah Carey

Read more: http://xfactor.tellymix.co.uk/news/64207-x-factor-2011-spoilers-final-song-choices.html#ixzz1g9y6mP4B

It's Amelia v Marcus v Little Mix in the Final

2011-12-04T20:47:00.001Z

Little Mix actually sounded quite good as they started whatever the group let's sing along song was to get the show underway tonight. Then I realised they were miming. Now that doesn't mean that they couldn't be a highly successful act - it may be the way it has to be for them, with well-written and recorded singles justifying all the hype that's building up around them and leave the live stuff for a while.

If they do get through to the final then that means they must have bags of support and so could well win.

Justin Bieber also mimed although the camera man had had instructions either to maintain a massive distance or take an angle that had the mike covering his mouth throughout the whole performance. It was a very uninspiring affair and I have no idea how he's made it so big or why they bothered bringing him over for this show.

Then we get an awful performance by Kelly Rowland which made you wish Cheryl Cole was back again. Dreadful, all over the place and in a bikini for no apparent reason whatsoever. She must have been wishing she could put on the sort of show that some of the contestants have been doing and I would find it quite difficult to pay much attention to her criticism of acts after watching that. Come to think of it, she has hardly said anything of much value throughout the whole series.

Eventually we get to the vote and, as the bookies predicted very accurately, MishaB is the one who doesn't make it to the final.

It's now anybody's guess and should be fun to watch and, hopefully, listen to. My vote goes to Amelia but it really could be any one and the big money is on Little Mix.

It Ought To Be Farewell to Little Mix But...

2011-12-03T20:08:00.001Z

The betting odds at the close of tonight's show say a totally different story to what we saw and heard.

These show MishaB as a virtual certainty to be sent home, with Little Mix (Betfair can't change the name from its original Rhythmix) and Marcus pretty definitely in. At one point Marcus was 40-1 against being sent home but his second performance didn't help him maintain that level. Amelia Lily seems to have those with the money in a bit of a quandary. So what does the money know that we don't? Interesting. We'll probably won't find out tomorrow either.

Misha B
Dancing In the Street
A reasonable enough performance. Not a lot more to say, really. She looks a lot better although the teeth whitening was a bit overdone. I'd much rather have been watching Martha & the Vandellas, though, on an old black and white screen or Mick and David with their version. There was just no excitement or real desire to go dancing that came across. All a bit designed and created for our benefit. She does make an effort, you have to admit, but it's all a bit average and notes just nowhere near accurate enough so recording companies will have to spend a fortune on autotuners if they do take her on.

Pretty Pretty Please
Pretty pretty good. Indeed, I have to say 'well done' to MishaB for making a big effort and she would deserve to get through to the final on the basis of her performances tonight.

Amelia Lily
Ain't No Mountain High Enough
What a difference. Looking like a ready-made pop star and so confident, every note where it should be. This is a pretty tedious song at the best of times and MishaB definitely picked the better track but Amelia Lily is the one who can really entertain and deliver.

I'm With You
Wonderful performance of the rarely heard Avril Lavigne number. This truly held everyone's attention and, whilst MishaB had really made a good job just before, this was far more.

Little Mix
You Keep Me Hanging On
Disappointing. The lead missed some important notes and when the blonde took over near the end it was like listening to a totally different track. How they can be favourite to win when sounding like this I do not know. Unless they pull something amazing out of the bag then they'll be lucky to get through to the final, never mind win it. No chance.

If I Were A Boy
Really nervous start but eventually they get it together just as it's time to go back to the slow low bit at the end which, again, they can't get right. The problem I have with this group is not just that they don't seem to gel any more, being presented on stage as four separate singers again who seem to come from completely different singing style backgrounds but also the fact is that they are not very good, well, not tonight anyway.

Marcus
My Girl
Nervous start but once he got into his stride he was good, very naturally presenting this classic as if he was born to it. Great choice for him, although the slow number did catch him out a few times - not as easy a song to perform as you'd think.

Can You Feel It
Rubbish song but well done. Still not as competently presented as we're used to seeing him being but this guy is good and deserves to get through.

Although Marcus wasn't on top form tonight he should be a safe bet for the final and, indeed, is the favourite to get there. Amelia simply must be there after those fabulous songs. There's no judges' vote tomorrow so it's all down to fan votes. Rumour has it that Little Mix get through which could well cause some interesting headlines. MishaB not making the final after tonight's efforts won't go down too well (although I still don't see her making a huge impact in the recording industry). Perhaps Marcus will be the one to go, so helping SYCO avoid too much controversy and, to be honest, he wasn't that great. Monday might be a good day for the Chancellor of The Exchequer to announce that we're all doomed.

Even though she didn't say, we know who Kelly wanted to stay

2011-11-27T20:43:00.001Z

Much as almost everyone had predicted, Janet and Misha received the fewest votes. Janet may have hoped that her usual huge following might have kept her in and it still might if the judges take it to deadlock.

Janet is first to sing with a beautiful version of Chasing Cars, the Snow Patrol number that suited her so well and you did have to wonder why on earth she didn't do that on the show itself.

MishaB sings out of tune On My Own by someone I don't know. With her hair in some sort of atomic explosion cloud above her head she hasn't got the visual appeal right at all. She gets a lot better tuning-wise as the song progresses but she's no winner, even if she survives.

Louis has always been a Janet fan but sends her home. That must be her out. Tulisa sends Janet home and that's that. It doesn't really matter that Kelly can't decide because, by not deciding, she did, in fact, seal Janet's fate.

Not a good decision but, to a great extent, Janet brought that on herself by some poor recent performances and I'm just glad I didn't put a bet on her when tempted at the very beginning when we all thought she was a certain finalist. With Frankie. Ah, those were the days.

And MishaB must be a dead cert to go next week.

Killing on two channels tonight.

2011-11-26T20:24:00.001Z

I had high expectations of tonight's show with the track list looking ideal for most of the five remaining acts. An hour and three quarters later, only Amelia really showed that real X Factor that we're looking for in both performances. Marcus was great in a slightly incorrectly titled I'm Your Man and that was about it. Janet and MishaB are in trouble tomorrow so Janet will be spending tonight working out how to put MishaB out on stage and MishaB will be seeing what she can do off stage. Maybe a Sunday headline will help her out. Little Mix? Oh, they were OK.

With the amount of song murdering going on tonight I wondered whether I'd have been more entertained watching The Killing on BBC4 after all.

Little Mix
Baby
Apparently that was a Justin Bieber song. Clearly I need to pay more attention. Mixed cleverly with a bit of The Supremes that worked well and should see the group safely through to the semi-final. They sound good together and have fun on stage. Some of the hairstyles and clothes don't show them as particularly pretty girls and I'm sure they looked better as individual artists many weeks ago.

Beautiful
Well, that was a bit boring and not exactly a good song choice but they did stay together and work well on stage. That won't have got them many more votes but they should still survive unless the others pull something extraordinary out of the bag and convert the extra phone votes they need.
♫7 ☼8

Janet
MmmBop
I was really hoping that she'd be seen to let go and have fun with the Hanson favourite. It's such a cheery song but she neither sounded nor looked at all happy and even forgot the words at one point, almost wailing as she tried to rescue herself. She did get through to the end, just. Lots of sympathy as it turns out that she was definitely not well but she'll need every single vote she can pull in if she's going to survive with the others doing so well.

Under The Bridge
This was more like it, the Red Hot Chili Peppers' track, but much reduced, ridiculously so. It is not a song that many will recognise, though, unlike her nemesis Misha's choice, and also challenging for her supporters to vote for as they'll need to. I can see she's going to need one hell of a good performance to survive tomorrow. Now that is something she can certainly do but if she continues to be below par like this then it could be her farewell, especially if she's up against either Little Mix or MishaB as seems likely.
♫7 ☼6½

MishaB
Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
I thought she would really deliver on this and be rocking around the stage and treating everyone to a Misha-Cyndi performance. It was accurate enough but lacked the incredible sparkle that the song should have. The rap bit in the middle was a reasonable modern touch and well-staged too but, overall, whilst far better than Janet's effort to revive an oldie, still didn't have that X Factor. And the trousers were awful. QAt least someone's finally fixed her hair and taken control of most of her image.

Killing Me Softly
She was either going to wow a lot of people or upset a lot of Roberta Flack fans with this. She missed some important notes and that was it. Downhill from there and the Fujee switch didn't rescue things much either.
♫7 ☼6

Marcus
I'm Your Man
No chances taken with this one. Straight delivery, well sung by the increasingly confident and likeable Marcus. If George Michael was watching this from his hospital bed he'll be glad of the extra few bob in royalties and the chance to partner him in the final. Not bad but not fantastically brilliant by a potential winner of this competition.

Lately
Next came the Stevie Wonder number that he struggled with. Notes all over the place but he has got the ability to run and rescue things which I guess we need to give him credit for. He's safe tonight but this does show just where his limits are and, please, judges, cut out the sensational comments, please. Louis says that he nailed every note. No he didn't. maybe they get to listen to an auto-tuned version.
♫7½ ☼8

Amelia
China In Your Hand
Wow. that was easily the best performance of the first set - and by a long way. She looks good, sounds excellent and is just so clearly passionate about performing. a natural star in the making but she needs some good luck and votes.

Since You've Been Gone
The Kelly Clakson one, not Rainbow. I thunk she'd have been better with Rainbow but, for all that, she was really the only one tonight with a natural X Factor. Great effort and she really should survive. Watch the repeat and you'll see what I mean - the others just look amateur in comparison, even Marcus tonight although his Wham job was up there too.
♫9 ☼9½

This Year's Famous Five Finally Fixed

2011-11-20T20:15:00.001Z

Simon must have got a Buy One Get One Free offer on Rihanna and I wonder whether she'll do the same mime as she did on XFactor USA? Actually singing tonight was Rebecca Ferguson, last year's runner-up, with a well-written number hoping for a boost in time for the Christmas sales to compete with all the others. With 1 Direction, Cher Lloyd, even Olly Murs and, for all I know the MacDonald Brothers, releasing albums she has a lot to compete with but as long as people don't get too confused between her and Leona on the adverts posters she should do well.

In the usual 'How did you think it went?' interviews with the remaining six acts, Craig sounded as though he'd seen the latest betting which has him as favourite to go.

Rihanna did an entertaining mime of We Found Love In A Hopeless Place in a tartan dress she'd borrowed from X Factor USA Rachel Crow and the stage filled with odd guys throwing each other about for no particular reason. I liked the shot of hay bales in the video. I wonder if that was the infamous Irish field video? Seems a bit insulting to our neighbours, though, to film about a hopeless place there just because their economy's screwed. The track seems to have just the one line so that'll be nice and easy for the fans to remember. Maybe that'll be next week's competition: what's the missing word in Rihanna's new single.. We Found Love In A Hopeless ... (A) Mess (B) Irish field with big hay bales (C) Place.

In no particular order... MishaB escaped as I rather guessed she might. Little Mix through as they should be. Marcus sails through. Now for the big one... it's Janet! So the voting is still going her way big time. And it's down to Amelia v Craig.

I warned the neighbours about the possibility of exceedingly bad language should Amelia be sent home. Craig wobbled to start then did a pretty reasonably passionate thing for Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. Amelia did Lada Gaga. What confidence. You and I. Fabulous. Looking great and a real star, unlike the defeated and 'I'm still just a contestant' look in Craig's demeanour.

Gary obviously votes for Craig, saying Amelia had shouted. (Good grief, he must have missed most of Misha B's performances then). Kelly, of course, votes for Amelia. Tulisa? She votes for Craig, a bit surprisingly. Louis, thank heavens, votes for Amelia to stay so it's deadlock. Although the public vote was crazy putting her in the bottom two it was at least a little more sane in putting Craig bottom and so he goes. Phew.

Two of Six Sense Victory on Movie Night

2011-11-19T21:31:00.001Z

O'Leary, Dermot O'Leary, with the JB pose and clutching on to a couple of girls in very gold dresses, starts tonight's X Factor show in a style that the contestants struggle to match. Luckily two save the day.

Craig
Licence To Kill
He tried hard but the set was far more interesting than he was. At least he has sorted his hair out and the stupid fringe has gone. The suit looked good too. But he's no winning act and he's still not getting the high notes properly. He's lost the battle against Marcus for Top Boy so he may as well go now. There are better finalists.
♫7 ☼6

Janet
Kiss Me
That was pretty boring too. Accurate and quite charming but very forgettable and I can't see how she keeps getting top of the voting polls. I'm really disappointed with her as she's got real talent and, doing the tracks she loves, she can move people but tonight, no moves at all on Movie night from her. Dressed in what looked like a large sweetie wrapper, she just came and went tonight. She can only get through to next week with the public vote as I reckon that, whoever she's up against in a sing-off, she'd not get the judges' backing. That may be wrong but that's how I see it. Hopefully, she will get the usual support so acts that have no hope can be got rid of and she'll revive to entertain us a bit more like she used to again.
♫9 ☼7

Amelia
Think
Wow! That was a class performance. The Aretha Franklin number that Tulisa said she'd never heard of may not be one of my favourite tracks but her presence on the stage, determined delivery and sheer professionalism just blew the previous two efforts out of the water. The other acts must all be so pissed that Frankie left and allowed her back in. They stood a good chance of beating him. Not Amelia. Even if Gary correctly pointed out that she was a semitone out most of the time she'll be through safely to entertain us for another week. Are we sure she's only 16? Remarkable.
♫8 ☼9½

MishaB
I Have Nothing
Choosing a track from The Bodyguard I was worried that she was going to do the big one but instead we got the other Whitney Houston number. She was competent enough but still uninspiring and having to watch all the sympathy vote grabbing stuff beforehand was so tedious. After all the tears surely the producers must find a way to keep her out of the bottom two this time? That's the only way she will keep out. That's probably going to be more interesting than her performance was.
♫8 ☼6½

Little Mix
Don't Let Go
A decent group this. They're working together well. They look as if they're trying just a bit too hard in places - and occasionally more than one of Gary's semitones out. And they're hardly 'the best girl group to come out of the UK' as Kelly announced. Sometimes the judges seem to be on another planet.
♫6½ ☼8

Marcus
Higher and Higher
Great performance. The Jackie Wilson style really suits him and he's so right to stick with it. He should get bags of support for this. After a lucklustre evening generally, he shone and seems totally at ease on stage and also gets the right notes in the right places.
♫10 ☼9½

So, if justice were to apply, Marcus and Amelia will be safely through and the rest all sharing the bottom two positions. If the Misha B sympathy nonsense keeps her safe this week then that leaves Craig, Janet and Little Mix. Craig should then be the one to go and, at the time of writing, he's the bookie's favourite.

Lady Gaga to Kitty: "Let's Go Get A Drink!"

2011-11-13T23:52:00.001Z

It really looked as though Janet might well have come to the end of the line but reliable sources tell me that she has, actually, been consistently top in all the voting polls throughout the live shows and so she stayed out of the bottom two after all.

That left Misha and Kitty to do battle. Kitty gave us a good but not really inspiring version of Somewhere Over The Rainbow and Misha produced a wonderful Who You Are, the Jessie J number in response that was better in all respects. I half hoped that it might go to deadlock with Kitty possibly getting saved with a higher number of votes but it didn't work out that way and it was her turn to go.

On the Xtra Factor later this evening, though, there was more than a little comfort for Kitty when Lady Gaga, in a wonderfully unscripted move, surprised everyone by giving her a huge sympathetic hug and then saying "Let's go get a drink!" And they did just that. any hope that Ollie and Caroline may have had planned to interview the superstar disappeared so I wouldn't be at all surprised if we hear a great deal more of Kitty and she'll get plenty of opportunities to put on some of the shows that I firmly believe she'll do well and, to be honest, she'll do just as well with a bit of help from Lady Gaga as she would from the show which she was not likely to win anyway.

The other news is that Amelia has now shot to become the bookies favourite, down to just 4-1 on Betfair, above Marcus after last night's amazing come-back. I still don't see where Craig fits in to all this and, if no-one does anything disastrous next week, that may be his last, leaving just Marcus to handle all the girls.

Amelia Returns And Steals The Show

2011-11-13T14:31:00.001Z

It's Lady Gaga v Queen tonight. Well, it should be but I found myself watching people who left years ago. I had to watch a recording and had no idea what was going on but fortunately a quick fast forward brought the current acts onto the screen and it appears that London suffered some power cut or something. So, with Dermot once more doing a superb job presenting in difficult circumstances and, in addition, we get to find out who out of the four acts eligible, who will actually be back on the show.

It promises to be an exciting night and it starts well...

Kitty ♫10 ☼8
Don't Stop Me Now
Really powerful and a performance that was not only totally in tune but she genuinely looked a star too. She was mostly hidden behind some bits of furniture for ages but eventually came out and took over the stage. Dermot said that there were also some prancing leather horses on there too but I have to say I didn't notice them as she was worth watching. This girl is damn good and now she's getting better make-up advice is far more likely to appeal to voters than in the early days. I can imagine people paying to see her show and, as Gary says, if she is able to capture the public's imagination with a less staged and acted performance then she could match the others if not defeat them.

Craig ♫7½ ☼7½
Paparazzi
A good start that made you think 'Yes, the guy's got an interesting version coming here' and then it went all a bit average until he pulled it back together at the end. There were quite a few strange notes along the way. He can bring a fair amount of originality and atmosphere to tracks but not enough to combat some of the problems of notes and, of course, the fact that he just doesn't look right.

Li'l Mix ♫8½ ☼8½
Telephone
They did a brilliant job of a tough Lady Gaga track. Very tight and absolutely spot on with their timing and tuning and with excellent vocals from the strong lead. Looking fun and modern, they're justifying their existence as the most successful girl group act on X Factor and I see them in the final.

Janet ♫8 ☼8
Somebody To love
I was hoping this would be the Bee Gees track but, of course, it couldn't be and was the Freddie Mercury one. She seemed much happier back in her own zone and not trying to be something that she's not and you just couldn't help being moved by a captivating performance. A beautifully controlled and unique way of delivering the Queen track. and yet... and yet there was something missing that I can't put my finger on. With such strong acts in the competition now, and this show really has come alive a last then I have doubts as to where Janet will fir in to the next few weeks. She could well be vulnerable this week and much will depend upon who she's up against.

Marcus ♫9½ ☼8½
Another One Bites The Dust
He'd never match last week's definitive Marcus performance. This was good but, again, something was missing and it was a bit like the sort of thing that they do to introduce American Idol . He was happy enough on the stage and dancing well but the whole thing was just a little forgettable. A nice guy, though, and he deserves to be here.

Misha ♫7 ☼6
She was singing the track that Kitty had wanted. She seemed to leave exactly the same gaps between each word and you just didn't feel that she actually felt or meant the words that she sang. She's a confident and competent performer but I wasn't impressed and no way would I pay to hear that track again. Presenting a much better and more pleasant image to the cameras, however, will not do her any harm. She'd be my act to go this week but I suspect she'll stay. In many ways I'm glad that Kitty didn't get the track because she may have done something else much better!

Amelia ♫10 ☼10
Winning the come back vote by a very substantial margin, that may be an indication of just how wrong Kelly was not to keep her at the outset. Looking great and, especially bearing in mind that she only has had 48 hours to get used to being back as well as rehearsing and remembering words, where to stand what to do and all that jazz, this was absolutely superb.

The Show Must Go On she sang and, although it did actually stop after her performance many people would have been delighted if it had. I'm really delighted to see her back but not so sure the other contestants will be after this really controlled and professional performance. The song suited her well and she looked as if she'd been on the show for the whole time. This was, without a doubt, the performance of the night. fabulous. She could even win.

A Second Chance. For The Show As Well As Amelia!

2011-11-11T23:20:00.001Z

Now this is fascinating! X factor UK producers answer to Frankie's departure is a cool invitation to vote back in again one of the four ejected in Week 1! So tomorrow we'll get a chance to see 2 Shoes, James, JonJo and the lovely Amelia once more and, hopefully, a lot more in the case of the 16-year-old who really should never have gone in the first place. This might be just the boost the show needs to start to match its American counterpart that has totally eclipsed the original in terms of talent and judges' abilities.

Perhaps Misha and Craig could be caught with a bag of sherbet or some ex-NOTW journalists can find some PIs to follow Marcus around and discover that he really is Jackie Wilson after all.

Mr Wilson

Mr Collins

Betfair have Amelia as 4th favourite to win at 7-1 (above Misha on 9-1 and only a little behind Marcus, Janet and Craig) with the other three still on 100+ odds. I just hope they're right and that she justifies all the high hopes we have of her when she performs again.

With Janet flagging slightly as the Live Shows progress, Kitty consistently performing brilliantly and finally getting respect for all the hard work and entertainment she's bringing to the show, L'il Mix being popular and Misha just beginning to recover from some disastrous PR, the scene is set for the girls to dominate the next few weeks in the UK edition.

The only scary news that is also doing the rounds is Louis threatening to leave too. Please don't go, Louis. You may be a fool but anyone would be preferable to giving an opportunity for the ghastly Alex to take a seat in a judge's chair. She was fortunate to win in the year that she did, with Hallelujah not exactly suiting JLS in a most unfair final. I admire some of her hits but not her manners.

The Risk and Johnnie Eliminated, and Frankie Leaves

2011-11-09T00:26:00.002Z

Quite a night. JLS performed their latest single Take A Chance On Me. That sort of reminded us that The Risk aren't really competing at the same level and, however good some of them have been individually, Saturday's performance was not brilliant and, sure enough (but still quite surprisingly for all that), they're the first to go.

That left us with Johnnie and Kitty, Frankie somehow having escaped what everyone had thought was certainly a bottom three position. Johnnie did Unchained Melody. He got the notes right, even the high ones, but it was still not something I can imagine many people rushing out to buy. Nice guy but I can see him doing TV work as a reward for entertaining us and singing a damn sight better than Wagner. Or put him in the jungle? Not Eurovision, though, please!

Kitty was absolutely superb with Kelly Clarkson's Beautiful Disaster and even Louis had to vote to keep her after that, as did everyone else. She looked as if she reckoned that Johnnie had won more hearts out in voting land and I would think that, had there been a 2-2 vote, she may well have gone. Thank goodness some sense seems to have prevailed.

The highlight of the show was surely, however, Florence + The Machine singing Shake It Out. Powerful and still probably echoing around the corridors of the studio as a reminder to the remaining 7 of what a really good performer can do. Amazing.

As I'm late publishing this, I can add today's news that Frankie has left too!! So we're down to the last six. What once appeared to be Janet's cruise to the final is now very open indeed. Since her early wonderful performances she's had some poor weeks and Marcus, Misha and even Kitty have shown a real sense of understanding what they need to do to win. I can even see Li'l Mix reaching the final. Craig seems to have bundles of support too and would be my choice for the natural next to go but it really does now all depend on each weeks' performances and that crucial factor - song choice.

Uncomfortable Numbers.

2011-11-05T22:58:00.000Z

Dermot welcomes us to Week 5 and announces 'Brace yourselves!' which he wouldn't have done on the USA version. This was a curious night. It didn't start at all well with several people distinctly uncomfortable with 'Club Night' whatever that meant. and that made uncomfortable viewing, especially if you had a bundle on Janet winning.

Johnny ♫ 8½ ☼ 7
The crowd love this fellow who this time switched the helium on and off and you had to check it was still him singing. You Spin Me Round he did in some ways better than Dead Or Alive, although that's not saying a great deal to be honest. It was just a bit of fun but (1) he did hit the right notes and (2) the audience love him so goodness knows what'll happen. He ought to go in a double eviction but I'm not so sure. There were some surprisingly much weaker performances tonight.

Janet ♫ 9 ☼ 4
I Want You back may well be what all her fans are calling out after this very uncomfortable track. She even forgot some words but recovered professionally and got away with that. Her hair and general look didn't work either and I feel she's totally lost that first image of a star in the making that we all had at the start. No-one's going to buy that as a single. She is very likely to be in the bottom three this week and is vulnerable. Much depends who she's up against if the judges have to choose.

Craig ♫ 7½ ☼ 5
We're In Heaven he sang but we weren't as we watched another good singer who can't dance and sing at the same time. Or shouldn't dance anyway. He missed notes tonight and just looked flabby and silly. Not a pretty sight at all. He may have a marginally greater appeal tonight, though, than Janet and should scrape through. He'd be likely to win a judges' vote against most of the other likely candidates too.

The Risk ♫ 6½ ☼ 7
A Night To Remember. No, a disappointing night as the show dips to lower levels further. The lead is good and really should have been told to stay as the lead and leave the others to do the oo-oos. When he switched to one of the others it went seriously wrong. They could do so much better and you can't forgive them like you can Janet and Craig. They're a pretty popular group of lads, though, amongst voters and I don't see SYCO letting it descend to just the one group just yet so we can assume they'll be here next week.

Marcus ♫ 10 ☼9
Very nearly full marks for Marcus, possibly as much out of relief that the show sprung to life as for anything else. He did an excellent rendition of Jackie Wilson's Reet Petite. A good song choice for him - he enjoyed himself, was natural and absolutely spot-on with the notes, the moves, the lot. Comparing him to the other Marcus, Marcus Canty on X Factor USA, he would have blown that one out of the pond this week.

Kitty ♫ 10 ☼ 7
Like A Prayer. Kitty does Madonna. And does Madonna very well with an excellent vocal and plenty of drama on the stage. She does have a strange facial expression, especially annoying around the eyes and the cheek lines (which maybe due to the botox she admitted to using on XtraFactor). For all that, she doesn't deserve to go this week and I feel the public are actually beginning to warm to her. The judges, oddly, weren't, with Kelly and Louis having a right go at each other over her.

Frankie ♫ 7 ☼ 4
I've Got A Feeling Frankie's going to go tonight if all the polls and papers and boos from the audience are to be believed. As it happens the polls were wrong last week and so were the papers this week, at least about the 'blonde' story at any rate. So it's down to whether he's got a chance of surviving. This performance wasn't at all bad and probably the first reasonably modern interpretation all night. But the judges were dreadfully bad about him, Louis leading the charge and some bad telly with Gary and him arguing. He looked a bit lazy but then I bet Mick Jagger did when he was that age. Because it is highly likely that he'll be in the bottom three and, if he doesn't get the bottom score, he'll be in a vote-off and I can't think of anyone they'll keep against him, I'm afraid he must be on his way out.

Misha B ♫ 9 ☼ 8
Proud Mary was a good number and helped her recover a lot of lost ground from her appearance and attitude last week. She is a great singer, no doubt, and seemed very natural and comfortable on the stage. She also looked much more friendly with good hair and less brutal clothes. Despite her big voice and presence, though, there were times when she was lost behind the backing track. She'll be safely through to next week so she'll not be worrying about that.

Little Mix ♫ 9 ☼ 9
Please Don't Stop The Music they sang and danced and generally impressed everyone. A good, tight, well-rehearsed performance and probably only the second tonight to sound particularly modern. A sure-fire act through to next week. That, of course, makes it tougher by far for the others! I do think they should change their name (again) to L'ilMix, as that's what everyone is going to call them. Sounds cooler, too.

X factor UK Week 4 Results: Voters put Misha on notice.

2011-10-30T21:00:00.000Z

Frankie must have been delighted to have survived this week. Sophie was a predictable bottom two partner but Misha was quite a surprise. That just shows how unpopular she has been as no-one can really criticise her singing voice at all. The fact that more people voted for Frankie and the really not very good Janet this week, not to mention Johnnie, might make her wonder whether the brutal design and attitude she's shown to date are the best way to succeed.

One comment on Xtra Factor that may resound with many was "if we're voting to keep someone in and consequently have a chance of winning and having an alum released then if I had to choose whose face I' d prefer to see on that album then I'd definitely want Sophie." As someone who thinks of 'album' as a 10" square card affair then add hair, shoulders, arms and legs to that statement. But, in all reality, unless she'd suddenly found some amazingly suitable tracks and the ability to start on time and in tune, Sophie wasn't going to get very far.

Sophie gave us a very controlled and emotional track, wobbled a bit at the start but she did a lot better than yesterday. It was another surprise to find Misha off tune as well when she did Kings of Leon Someone Like Me. She was better than Sophie, though, and deserved to stay.

So no more surprises tonight then.

X Factor UK Week 4: Should they stay or should they go?

2011-10-29T22:44:00.000+01:00

Sometimes you wish they'd just not bother with silly themes for X Factor. I mean, it's scary enough with Louis and Kelly and even more so with Alexandra Burke on the other side of the desk. Dermot O'Leary also did a good job of frightening the pants off anyone who knew him well by dancing at the start. Suppose that was marginally better than the contestants dancing, though, so let's be thankful for small mercies.

The Risk
The new version of The Risk kick off the show with Ashford brought back yet again, this time from recently evicted NuVibe, when Ashley left in the week. I guess we need to be a bit gentle on them as they've only had a few days to work out what they're doing, plus all the strange requirements that the show needs. At this rate Louis and Simon will be part of the group by the final. This was an easy-listening version of Thriller. Not very impressive at all. their star quality has improved, though, as the new guy is popular.
♫ 6 ☼ 9

Johnny
Here comes the pencil-shaped old guy. Take a suck of the balloon and keep away from the flames on those big candles, Johnny. Louis was going to dress him in latex but didn't want a rubber Johnnie bouncing round the stage so he gave him a suit. He sang well enough. Well enough for a wedding or something, but not a £1 million contract. The crowd are loving him, though.
♫ 8 ☼ 9

Sophie
She did Bang Bang, as it was in the David Lynch movie theme. Cool start but lost it a bit in the middle. She let nerves get to her by the seems of it. I also wonder where that special quality will be coming through that I think she possesses but we have seen little of yet.
♫ 6½ ☼ 5

Marcus
He was well in his element with Superstitious. an excellent performance which woke us up a bit, thank Heavens. He did look more like a Marcia tonight than a Marcus but I suppose we can't hold that against him. Nice job.
♫ 9 ☼ 8½

Misha
Tainted Love. Very competent, if a bit predictable version. Just can't get excited about this woman and her outifts and styles really put me off. The rhino horn hairdo was bizarre. Not Gaga bizarre but yuk bizarre.
♫ 9 ☼ 5½

Janet
Every Breath You Take. Oh dear. What happened at the start? I almost expected her to stop and ask to start again. So off tune from the one you always thought would be spot on. Nervous and wobbly, she did eventually gather herself together but it was only a glimmer of her former brilliance. Not good enough, reminding me of Vicky's fate a few year's back (although she did go on to do really well).

Funny thing is that when I listened to a recording this did sound better. Perhaps we should always hear her tracks twice to give us a chance to tune in properly. Instead of her tuning to us we tune in to her. Novel.
♫ 4½ ☼ 8½

Frankie
He seemed much more relaxed tonight. Obviously had a good night's rest! This guy's good but Should I Stay wasn't a brilliant way to show off his qualities. Not bad and he should definitely be safe but I'm waiting for those star performances that we all expected at the start. He's far better when he let's go and does it his way.
♫ 8 ☼ 9

Kitty
Sweet Dreams. At last. a really good act to make the programme worth watching this week, which it hasn't been so far other than for some morbid reason. She was first class, with vocals that made you forget even how good Misha had been in that department. add to that a great show and, slowly, the make-up people are getting it right and, perhaps, the public will start to warm to this genuinely talented star.
♫ 10 ☼ 6

Little Mix
Once a bunch of disparate individual contestants, then a group or two, then Rhythmix and now Li'l Mix. they did the Britney Poison number really well and you can imagine them winning if they keep up this good work and get the right tracks each week. Several of the singers are excellent on their own and this li'l group could be the surprise in future weeks.
♫ 9 ☼ 8½

Craig
OK, the boy can sing. Pity it was an Adele number which we are beginning to get pretty sick of now. He should have left this for one of those dangerous weeks when he might have been at risk. Tonight he could have sung a Pinky and Perky number and been safe in comparison to most of the acts.
♫ 10 ☼ 7½

Difficult to call this week. Frankie is vulnerable, despite a reasonable performance. I just don't think he'll get the support. Remarkably, he could be joined by, real shock, horror ... Janet, or even, dare I say it, The Risk! More likely it'll be Sophie with Frankie and, this time, it could be the one with the lowest public vote. Too close to call. Against either of Janet or The Risk, though, Frankie or Sophie would be doomed.

X Factor UK: Louis has to choose

2011-10-23T21:08:00.001+01:00

Why it took nearly 8 minutes for the judges to decide between Sami and Kitty I don't know. For a moment I thought that Louis was going to say he'd send Kitty home just to leave it at deadlock and then the act with the lowest votes would have been sent home.

My guess is that he genuinely does think Kitty has a better chance of lasting longer and that he also sees how poorly she has identified with the voting audience to date. So there was a big risk that she might have been the bottom in vote numbers and he'd have lost her.

Incidentally, Kitty did produce an excellent performance of On The Edge.

So bye Sami. You won't be missed much.

A week when Johnnie gets the most applause. Says it all really

2011-10-23T18:08:00.004+01:00

Marcus

More confident but still no star and missing notes left, right and centre. This was a lively and determined performance after a wet one last week but Louis' "What a brilliant opening" and the praise heaped on him by all the others were way, way over the top. And he seemed to have a black pudding stuck on his head. I listened to this again and, second time around, I realised just how bad this was - totally out of tune at the start and just awful. "Turn it off!!" called my 13-year-old.

♪ 4 ☼ 6

Janet

A harp. Rock week? Yes - it woks for the Guns n Roses number. Her red hair seems to have exploded. This was a controlled but very professional performance, not exactly rock but it worked for me and will easily get her through. Every note was where it should be and I was pleased to see the clip before showing how she dealt with odd-looking journos asking stupid questions. This girl has gone up in my estimation but still may not inspire enough to win but should be a clear finalist in what, so far, looks mostly very poor opposition.

♪ 10 ☼ 8½

Sami

Cher's Turn Back Time sung well enough, I suppose, apart from some tinny and stretched top notes which I was surprsied she failed to deliver. Gary said it was boring and he's dead right. She's OK, but no star and, if it weren't for Louis and Goldie leaving, she'd not be on our screens at all. We could have heard that on a pile of old MFP albums or those where people covered hits that sold for 99p in Woolworths. She'll probably get through because there's a bundle of old people who'll vote for her out of some sympathy and maybe some Welsh people have phones too. Not prime time ITV stuff at all.

♪7 ☼ 4

Rhythmix

These girls are very together and proving popular. This was an odd combination of a rap number I'd never heard of and "Push It" which I do. Both kinda worked but not spectacularly. I'm not sure where they'll get votes from with that mix but they should get enough this week. Dermot did a great job as Tulisa, Gary and Kelly got boring about what does or doesn't constitutes a song for 'rock' week. I mean, they've had a week, rehearsals and plenty of time to see what others are doing and discuss it. we don't need to get involved. Maybe they thought some argument would make good telly. Wrong. As for this group, well, a bit out of tune and my 9-year-old (who did know the track) said it was rubbish. I'm prepared to give them the benefit of the doubt and wish them through for the next week and, hopefully, improve enough to continue. At least they have some potential.

♪ 7½ ☼ 8

Sophie

Sophie does Livin' On A Prayer in tight black leather and, finally, someone has sorted out the way she looks. We know she can hit the right notes at the right time and this was a great version of the track. I would have preferred to see her let go in a big way from the middle on instead of sort of holding herself back and almost disappearing amongst the candles but here we saw someone who deserves to be there and who could be interesting to watch develop. With the right songs, the right clothes and style, we could be in for a surprise as I have a feeling she can handle a whole range of stuff which might trouble others.

♪ 9 ☼ 8

Craig

Talk of rock week - Crying Your Heart Out??? Eh?? The old lip curl is still off-putting but he has a great voice and most of the notes are there. I still don't see him in the hit parade except for the album you buy for mum at Christmas. He'd be most comfortable in gigs where someone slightly off-beat with a good voice but little star quality can be best appreciated. Comparison with Oasis says it all. No idea what else to say about this chap. Sorry.

♪ 9½ ☼ 5

Kitty

Live and Let Live is one really difficult song to sing and I'm amazed that she attempted it, not only attempted it but actually delivered really well. Compare her voice and control and accuracy to Sami and there's just no argument about who should stay in. The public still don't seem to like her much but I feel she's slowly winning back some of her detractors. Quite why she messes around with her eyes so much I do not know

♪ 10 ☼ 5½

Frankie

Here's the bad boy. Seems like the only one in the whole pack this year. This was a decent performance and he looked like he was enjoying himself and was at home on the stage with the scantily-clad girls. Gary thought he did "pretty well" and that's about right. X Factor UK need Frankie. They don't need Sami. He's front runner with Betfair to go at the time of writing by quite a way. They got NuVibe right last week but £16000's worth of bets so far may have got it wrong this week. I hope so.

♪ 7½ ♪ 9

The Risk

Well, we know that we're not going to lose a third group this week. This was a slow version of Crazy, well-staged but not really that great. they just managed to hold their harmonies together, all credit for that, and there's no doubt that they've got bags of talent and support out there. This was just one of those X Factor performances that we'll just forget.

♪ 7 ☼9

Johnnie

Starts with a clip of Janet and Johnnie on a sofa. Johnnie clutches a mug of tea. You wonder if she's doing her bit for the community by visiting the sick or elderly. Hey, Johnnie made my household crease up with laughter and the judges too at one point. Listen to that crowd too. Bearing in mind that they're the people who'll be inclined to vote too, he must be way ahead in the poll this week! I fear he'll be around for a long time yet but, please, not a winner. He's got the JEdward / Wagner tag this year and I guess X Factor needs one. What? oh, the song. Who cares. he'll be around next week and maybe then he'll do something worth commenting on in that respect.

♪ 6 ☼ 10

Misha

There's always one performance of Purple Rain. Misha is a natural performer and is so confident on stage. In fact, you wonder why someone hasn't already snapped her up. However well she sings, she didn't get that song across anywhere near as well as I expected. It's normally a track that you find yourself riveted to but I was bored half-way through. Nothing really happened. Obviously, she'll be around for a while yet and the whole image thing was better than it has been, although she does seem rather less than friendly and you do wonder whether she actually ever speaks to any of the others or just goes home and comes in when she has to. When she does go home she should take a look at the X Factor USA Judges' Homes performance by (I think) Stacy.

As Dermot says at the end, someone has to go. The bookies say Frankie. I say Sami. Marcus is also vulnerable.

♪ 10 ☼ 7

NuVibe go home in first public vote.

2011-10-16T21:05:00.000+01:00

Good to have the proper theme for the judges' walk on back. Obligatory sing and dance along song came and went, unfortunately titled Hello when one of them would be saying goodbye but it could have been worse. No-one looked particularly uncomfortable except Frankie who we tend to excuse anyway.

The Wanted and Katy Perry did world exclusives of their new singles. The Wanted had a great stage display but most of us were watching the dancers. They kind of set the scene as to why NuVibe will have to work hard to stay with a good mime along to the backing track. Katy has a way with words and always manages to write something that thousands of teenagers will identify with and her latest, while not of the California Girls standard, will do well for those contemplating a break-up this Christmas and showed us what Sophie should have done but didn't.

Frankie is the surprise partner to the predicted NuVibe in the bottom two. So it looks as though the bookies had it right from the word go: NuVibe must be the judges' majority choice. Frankie's performance was definitely a bit lazy the night before so I guess he'll be turning the heat up next week now.

NuVibe didn't really stand a chance.

Week 2: Wailing, warbling and a white rabbit

2011-10-15T21:49:00.000+01:00

The boom of Peter Dickson and cheery professional tones of Dermot O'Leary still beat the USA version hands down to get us started although Love Is In The Air as the judges enter isn't quite as impressive as the previous devilish theme.

What certainly wasn't in the air were in-tune notes (with one or two notable exceptions).

NuVibe kick off the show hoping it's not first on, first out. The bookies don't offer them much hope, odds dropping from 2.1 when they started to 1.8 by the time they'd finished. To be honest I thought they'd improved no end and the whole act seemed pretty together and not the sort of rubbish that usually needs to get kicked out in week 2. Gary was very critical but the guys may well have attracted a good number of teen votes, although the U2 number, With Or Without You was a little safe and is one of those tracks that everyone does at some point. Maybe getting it out of the way now was a good idea.

Sami looked over 10 feet tall in a massive pleated blue dress with the camera down on the floor somewhere. Very odd. Her song was the tedious I Will Always Love You but delivered in what Gary described as Cruise Ship style. Good old Louis was playing his cards safe and is clearly going to keep her banging out the easy big numbers for as long as she can get away with it. Looks like the strategy paid off with her odds leaping briefly to 20 at one point before settling back at a point which should still mean she's safe this week. The audience loved her but maybe they'd been giving away free tickets at Bingo this afternoon.

Craig warbled through a Beyonce number I'd never heard of and made a mess of it. He's not easy to watch either as his mouth goes one way and his fringe another. I can't see the voters being that impressed but everyone seems to think he's brilliant.

Janet did Falling In Love With You but didn't actually do it terribly well. Maybe we've got used to the amzing numbers she's already given us in the auditions and last week. She'll be safe for a while although I'm not convinced, as many others are, that she's this year's winner.

Frankie
Last minute change by Gary has the guy doing a ColdPlay number. He's the kind of act you can throw almost anything at and he'll perform. Casual style but a lot more going on in the emotions than some give him credit for. Looks like an accident waiting to happen, or possibly having already happened and involving a hedge and backwards but, hey, who cares? He'll survive for a while yet.

Johnnie has Kylie Minogue not only in the backing track to the la la la, la-la la la laa number but also has her tweeting in support! Check out @kylieminogue for yourselves. So what can I say. I mean, she's adorable and I couldn't bear to upset her. Johnnie Robinson is a sort of stick insect who has been taken completely out of his environment and stuck on a stage. The funny thing is he loves all the camp stuff and, of course, with Louis as his mentor, they're both in their element here. A totally ridiculous helium-injected voice and some bizarre stuff going on had the audience cheering their loudest all evening. Odd but beats Wagner from last year for entertainment.

Marcus
A Rihanna track I didn't recognise. Tough song. It could have worked but it didn't. Marcus clearly not on top form tonight and a final note that was neither here nor there. He won't want to remember that performance so maybe it's best if I don't write about it any more.

Rhythmix
Nice job of the Nelly Furtado song. Not a lot more to say really. They're a bit vulnerable according to the bookies but I reckon that'll see them through safely. A cheery bunch who seem to get on well and have some fun. XFactor USA's Lakoda Rayne could learn a lot from them. One or two have great voices and we might get some surprises from this bunch if Tulisa works them well.

Misha
Professional performance. Only one of a few this week. Looks dreadful but sounds good.

The Risk
Cool guys. Sat on stools. Looking a bit uncomfortable as if Gary had glued them there. Sang really well and still up there as possible winners. Dermot O'Leary dropped the name #Riskettes for some reason I missed.

Sophie
Eh? She was really not good, wobbling all over the place and Kelly really did send the wrong girl home last week. Strange choice of track and dress and, well, everything. I guess she might survive but by no means certain.

Kitty
Great. At last, someone who can put on a great performance, in tune and look like someone that could make records. She needs a lot of work still in the make-up department but a considerable improvement on last week's masculine horror look. The audience really don't seem so keen and if that is translated across the nation then she's not going to be around long. Great set on the Alice In Wonderland theme for the Oh So Quiet number - and a white rabbit. Not that I recall a white rabbit at the table in the book but never mind. Anyone who does Alice In Wonderland deserves a break!

This was not a good week, I'm afraid. If you've got the programme recorded, you'll need a stiff drink and occasionally something else to do for a couple of hours.

X Factor USA Judges' Homes Pt 1 Recap

2011-10-15T12:23:00.001+01:00

This is the show in which three pretty girls ask Simon Cowell "Help, be mine tomorrow, touch me now" while one can't get no satisfaction either. As he says at the end, "It's going to get hard.."

Enrique Iglesias, Rihanna and some guy called Pharrell join the other judges to help them decide which of the 32 remaining acts make the 16 to appear in the Live Shows. Mariah Carey should also have joined Simon but rain stopped her play or plane for this first part of the next round.

I lost count of the number of times we get told who was going where and with whom. If you don't know you'll find out soon enough. Suffice it to say we're talking about grand, really impressive sets in glorious sunshine except for Paula's Place where it looked like it was a typical English rainy afternoon in October and as drab as anything compared to the picture perfect scenes that Simon and Nicole had created.

The girls rushed to clutch Simon as he entered and, with some teenagers made up to the extent that they were looking like they could have been in the Over 30s group, the scene was slightly uncomfortable viewing, especially the bit where Caitlin Koch, who didn't do the run and scream and grab bit, realises she does need to compete and attempts to give as many as she can a group hug from behind. Maybe she thought she was in a rugby scrum.

Little Brian B was first up at LA Reid's place. You have to be impressed with this kid. He's got piles of words and awkward rhythms to remember and just gets everything right in his way and in his style. He is a complete, marketable package and is bound to get some deal from someone soon. He'll be good TV for a while too so is pretty much a certainty for the Live Shows now. Not a winner but he'll be there for a few weeks. Until the round where they have to sing, that is. And can you really imagine him doing the synchronised dance number in matching tops that they're bound to introduce the Live Shows with? No. Still, the clips of him getting stroppy during rehearsals should be amusing.

Simone appears with even longer legs than I remembered and moves gracefully down the immaculate decking next to a mirror-like pool. Any shot of that scene would make nice desktop wallpaper and, whatever happens she'll surely have a calendar full of really nice photos to take home and send to her friends at Christmas. Performance-wise, Simone's been unimpressive so far. She's here because Simon likes her and, with just young lads around for advice, you get the feeling she'll get through somehow. She does have more than a passing resemblance to Sinita too, which will help. "You look fantastic," says Simon, something I just don't reckon he'd have started with had Mariah been there. She does a nice version of the Beatles' Help, restrained and thoughtfully presented. A safe audition and if she's on the Live Shows you have to wonder at whose expense? Now that's the question.

First of the groups is The Anser. Nice harmonies, great singers but not sure where they'd fit in commercially these days. They have talent but how memorable are they going to be? Hmmm. I can't remember what they did and it was only a few minutes ago.

Dexter seems to have got through largely on personality and being occasionally different enough to stand out. He's made good TV so far with a lot of after performance emotion and Jagger moves and James Brownesque bursts of delivery. He's a natural entertainer, fun and lovable. Who would have expected him to attempt a classic Beyonce track? Plenty of props to the guy for that - and he wowed Nicole on the beach in a scene he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams a few months back. There's always an odd act or two that gets into the Live Shows in the UK and he could be one if Simon's going to follow the same plan. Paula will be batting for him too so I reckon Nicole will be getting a few calls to help her with the decision.

Skyelor is one of the weaker acts to make it this far. A nice guy and, yes, nice voice and he even threw in a nod towards the country vote but I see him in a group rather than a solo success. Ah, too late for the groups - unless they change InTENsity to InELEVENsity. Having said that, I can't imagine ten kids staying together for long so he might still get a chance. He's probably due for the tearful "Sorry I have to let you go" shots in part 2 or 3.

Tora, on the other hand, is a strong contender. Once we get past the annoyingly obviously set-up shots of her with a spanner under a car, leaning into the engine bay with a low cut top and tight shorts, Sir Mick features once again as she hits Simon with Satisfaction. An awkward start but then she gets going and she'd be an exciting addition to the Live Shows. Rock Chick needed. She'd fit that bill nicely. Pity about the tattoos though. Her dancing seemed out of sync with her singing - or at least with the track we heard which did make me wonder how much re-editing there'd been. The sound quality at all the scenes seemed amazingly good for open air performances. In the UK X Factor Judges' Houses shows it was really poor. Here we're getting decent lengths of tracks too and much better viewing all round. I'll not criticise the editing although I'm sure some will, especially after the autotune problems of the past!

Lakoda Rayne perform for the first time for us. Four girls who didn't make the solo categories but each with talent and, of course, looking great too. We even get a caption to say "Cari's House" where they rehearsed initially and, by the looks of it, the prize money might not make that much of a difference to her family finances. I accidentally ran their performance twice which was just as well for this review as I just didn't get it first time round. They seemed more like four girls doing their own thing, doing it competently but not exactly inspiring anyone. Second time round it clicked. They're actually very good. there's tension in there and I can't imagine them all getting on that well off camera and they'll never win but they do have appeal and clever management and song choice might get them through.

Stacy gets a much improved appearance with the makeover, although the mouth still troubles me. What comes out of it does too when she starts screeching the long high notes. If she could stop doing that then people will love her because otherwise she is one brilliant performer, confidently and expertly presenting Purple Rain with a version Prince would have been proud of. The notes were all spot on and she's got that presence already that says she's going to get somewhere. Stacy's a sure-fire Live Show act and we'll be seeing her on screen for a good many weeks yet. Enrique Iglesias made the quote of the evening with "I think the neighbours heard that!" (Cue horizon shot and not another property in sight!)

The Brewer Boys - another act that had virtually no screen time before. I guess they were too busy playing computer games. Once you stopped wondering what kids Roy Orbison and Bob Dylan might have had together and could concentrate on their performance you got the impression that here's an act that you could just say "Hey, kids, go and entertain people," and they'd do it. Really accomplished. Geeky dancing that wouldn't have been out of place in a Footloose movie but, strangely, it didn't seem to matter. They were doing this as if it was in their own back yard. They have to be in the Live Shows. Pharrell didn't get it but I think Paula did.

Phillip Lomax has stayed under the wire so far and neither got the big write-ups or the embarrassing put-downs either. You had to have some respect for the guy doing a Rihanna number whilst she-with-the-big-forehead sat there a few feet away. Some challenge but he took it and brought yet another quite unique style to the show with his Brat Pack 50s style and good looks. A good job done here and I'd love to see him make it but he'll need five of the other boys to be less impressive. A difficult time ahead as I couldn't call it as to whether he gets through or not.

Elaine G does an Oasis track, and does it confidently and almost immaculately. Maybe too perfectly, I wonder? She is very professional but she has Stacy to compete with and I don't see both of them getting through. I wonder what she'd have done with Purple Rain? That would have been interesting. As she finished on the predictably annoying big high note the scene panned back as if the camera guy had been blown away, literally rather than being that impressed! Or both, I suppose, as she was pretty damn good.

Back to Simon's pad - and it's interesting that the places are called Judges' Homes in X Factor USA as opposed to Judges' Houses in X Factor UK. I suppose you folks get to see the actual places they live whereas UK contestants are flown off to what look more like hotels in foreign lands (or a small holding in Ireland for Louis Walsh's unfortunate guys in the past). Caitlin graces our screens and we're reminded that she's a 'Cook' not a 'Cock' once more. She's obviously realised that Sinita, I mean Simone, has made all the moves so far and asked for "Help" from the boss so she tops that completely by looking him straight in the eye and gently singing "Tonight you're mine..." Completely. Once you got over wondering what on earth must have flashed across Simon's mind at that point you'd hear a beautiful version of this 60s number. Every note and intonation spot on. Why hasn't this girl already been taken on by someone? In a way, it may be too late for her as she lacks that modern edge that would make her stand out. Or she could have lied about her age and not been out of place in the Over 30s where she would have stood a better chance of getting through. She's another excellent act who will be on the margins of coming or going in the next shows and, strong though she looks, tears could well fall. Steve, brace yourself.

Nick Voss next. I keep hearing Elvis which I suppose could be regarded as cool nowadays rather than just an impression act but I just don't see how he'll fit in to the Live Shows where he'll be told to do something else. Sometimes he looks and sounds very good and then sometimes he looks and sounds plain wrong. Had he stayed in character all the way through his track then it might have been better but switching from the 50s to 70s style actions served only to confuse us all, not least Rihanna.

Quite how Steve Jones managed to get from one part of the world to another in such a short time I do not know and perhaps the editing team could at least make sure he wears the same things for the sake of continuity if nothing else. Sun up, sun down, rain - and they say the English have crazy weather. Thereagain he is Welsh, and that might explain a lot.

4Shore are the band with the silly name but they can sing and sing well, naturally together and they've flown through the rounds so far. They may have come to a halt here though, without LA Reid on their side. They get a poor song and just didn't make any lasting impression other than memories of something like The Four Tops in red. They know what they're doing and deserve another chance to get through but are probably up against the StereoHogzz for the one place to fill with their style.

James Kenney is another act that has escaped a lot of the cameras to date. he reminds me of David Cook and might have stood a good chance in that year's American Idol. Here, today, 2011? I don't know. He's a solid, reliable performer but will he sell records? I say that we've hardly seen this guy so far but maybe we have and just haven't remembered him as much as the others. And that could be his problem. If he does scrape through then good luck to him and it would be good to see more of an earthy rock element too from someone not bordering on 50. Nice guy, though.

The first part of the Judges' Homes edition ends with Drew. This is a fabulous way to leave us wanting more. In a stunning scene this 14 year old going on 24 year old absolutely shows how it should be done. A standout audition so far and watch the download figures for this clip on YouTube. Amazing. But... "It's going to get hard," says Simon afterwards, ominously.

Now what he could do instead is put Drew with Janet Devlin from X Factor UK and there he would have a guaranteed Christmas No 1 Album across both continents. Neither need win their respective competitions to make their money and leave the show clear for someone else to have a chance.

X Factor USA The Brewer Boys at Paula's House

2011-10-14T18:43:00.001+01:00

Again, something we missed last night that deserves a replay. Whatever you may think about these guys looking like that and doing a Rihanna number, this is another classy act in the rain. Why couldn't the UK find a pair like this?

X Factor USA Drew Ryniewicz at Simon's House

2011-10-14T17:13:00.001+01:00

While we're waiting to catch up with the missed show, here's one of the stand-out auditions we didn't see last night in the UK.

X Factor UK Week 1 Results

2011-10-09T22:34:00.000+01:00

Well, what a night. Louis, as expected sent JonJo back to the real Boot Camp to do Kinks karaoke numbers in Afghanistan where he'll be more appreciated. Of course, that implied that he kept the ridiculous but 'entertaining' (eh?) Johnny Robinson, the gay helium singer and the tedious Sami who will do 80s karaoke numbers here for a while and bore the pants of us.

Gary, again, as expected and pretty sensibly, sent James home as punishment for losing his nerve and not exactly inspiring anyone with his rendition of Ticket To Ride. The guy does have talent but singing to yourself half a mile away from the audience only works if you really get all the notes right and don't look frightened stiff.

Tulisa has gone up in my estimation for her brave decision to get rid of 2 Shoes, the Essex comedy act. That I hadn't seen coming but was delighted to have got it wrong. NuVibe were her other option but, whilst the chunky loud girls had bags of character and made you smile and even could manage a few more notes than most of us would have guessed by looking at them, there was no way they were going to go far in the competition whereas NuVibe might just turn it round for a few weeks more.

Kelly, however, produced the shock of the night by sending Amelia Lily home. This girl has already built up a huge following, looks good after the makeover and has all the makings of a cool young rock chick who could do well. Her auditions have been excellent to date and whilst Billy Jean last night may not have been a great example of what she can do, she had far more star appeal than Sophie, who'd been nervous and is someone no-one quite knows yet. I would have loved to have seen Misha go home. She had a terrible dress on, yet again, and seems to me to be one of those girls who has a massive wardrobe at home and determined to show just how bad her design taste can be each week. I can vaguely forgive the dress sense, well I can't but I was willing try for a while, but what I didn't like was the smug look she had when she was told she was staying. It kinda said "Yeah, of course I am, bitch. I got rave reviews yesterday and the week before and the week before that and no sister o' mine is sending me home today. I'm gonna kick that Irish chick's butt too and now the pretty chick's gone I gotta free ride through to the final. Yo sister." As you'll gather, I don't like Misha very much and really don't look forward to her performance next week, whereas I would have wanted to watch Amelia Lily get her act together and bring some non-Diva excitement to the place.

I do wish Sophie well, though. She should survive for a while if she chooses well and doesn't mess around with makeovers too much. Her performance last night was pretty unique and competent but it's Janet's votes she'll be fighting for, unfortunately, which could be hard to win.

OK, got that out of my system. We now have the final 12 and from next week it'll be you and I who get to choose who the judges can pick from.

X Factor UK Live Show 1

2011-10-09T01:32:00.002+01:00

The first UK Live Show. 16 acts, all with makeovers, not all better as a result, and a chance to show us what they can do for a full track instead of carefully selected clips of them doing stuff they might either not have chosen themselves or were obliged to do with others in Boot Camp.

At first glance this looks a strong crowd and I'd have thought it would be really difficult for three of the judges to select someone to send home. Louis, as ever, will pretend to have trouble but only has Kitty with any chance of lasting for a while and even she will need to overcome a lack of adoration in the voting public.

Welcome back Dermot, too, who is a breath of freash air after watching Steve Jones' wooden efforts and fatuous comments on X Factor USA which is running in parallel on ITV2, just a few weeks behind.

Someone does need to sort out Dermot's make-up, though, and most of the men for that matter, to prevent us being dazzled by the reflecting lights on their foreheads.

Amelia Lily has the task of opening and it's a great start. Brilliant, in fact, with her interpretation of Billie Jean by Michael Jackson. She is one of the few who look better now than in the early stages when the blonde and the black seemed heavy, being replaced by a new, slightly softer look. Amelia would normally be totally safe but in a group with Misha and Janet she must be glad that the comparatively unknown Sophie is on hand to make Kelly think a bit about who should take the hit. This girl has star quality. I can see her selling records but some of the notes need to be found more accurately. Let's put that down to a 16 year old's nerves.

Johnny Robinson tries to sing Believe by Cher. This is where the fun starts as this guy, whilst charming, is way out of anyone's idea of an X Factor winner. It just isn't going to happen. He's already won in a way. People like him. He's had a great month or two of an experience and his natural character may well find him jobs as a talking head on panels like Big Brother has after the show and things like that where I can see him fitting in and enjoying himself. He sounded as if he'd been inhaling some of the helium from balloons. Some dancers appeared and lifted him up at some point for no apparent reason. They should have dropped him. Wearing a ridiculous silver mac he is the show's JEdward, or the 'Circus Act' as Gary called him.

Rhythmix are complete unknowns. They sang Superbass by Nicki Minaj which not many viewers would be able to sing along with. They worked well together and the number was fast enough to disguise their singing or timing until they slowed down at the end when it didn't seem so good. There are definitely a couple of good singers in there and they're pretty and pretty different, standing out in the competition. They should stay this week but they'll need to be a bit stronger vocally to stay longer and give us a chance to get to know them individually.

Frankie Cocozza was the act we'd been looking forward to. There's been a lot of talk about him since the very first week and we know he'll perform well as he seems to have a natural confidence on the stage. In addition he can hold a note, find the next one and you get the feeling he lives the song. This number was The A Team by Ed Sheeran, again something more familiar to younger viewers but they may well be the ones he needs to vote. It was actually a damn difficult track too but he'd mastered it and I liked the way he didn't look for some big ending or overwhelming show. He just stopped and that performance will have done him no harm at all. Top 3 of the night on reflection.

Sophie Habibis Who? Yes, we don't know much about Sophie, except that every image we see of her presents a totally different character and that confuses us even more. Teenage Dream by Katy Perry suited her and she sat prettily like Diana Vickers used to and even sounded a bit like her. She surprised everyone with a really good performance but she's in a very tough group. One has to go and it may well be her which is a shame but Amelia has the edge I think for star quality.

Jonjo Kerr tried You Really Got Me by The Kinks. Nice guy but Ray Davies could have done better and he's 78. He just kind of stood there as if he was in a bar with friends and singing along to a track on the juke box. There was just no star quality, even if he did get the notes and timing well. I think he's likely to go in Louis' group. No, maybe he shouldn't but I think he will as he doesn't have that necessary entertainment value.

2 Shoes could have excelled with Something Kinda Ooooh by Girls Aloud. But they didn't. They started well but then it kinda fell apart. the whole production was rubbish with an old Peugeot painted pink and it was like a pathetic version of a Sheila's Wheels advert. Dreadful. they were also out of tune and out of time. They ought to go but I have a feeling they might not.

What on earth happened to James Michael? He was one of my tips to upset the whole applecart amongst the boys but whilst I could see what he wanted to do with Ticket To Ride by The Beatles, it just didn't work. Such a shame. He must be regarded as the most likely for Gary to send home but...

Misha Bryan is loud. Good, with probably the most accurate notes of everyone, but loud and uncomfortable viewing. Rolling In The Deep by Adele is one of those recent tracks that now sounds as if it's been around as long as a Rolling Stones' track. Yes, it was accurate, had a rap bit thrown in in an attempt to be a little bit different but this girl doesn't do anything for me. Respect her, yes. Like her, want to listen to her more? No. I can't imagine she'll be worried about not being here next week, though. Whilst she'd be my choice to go home that would be a complete and utter shock and I don't think Kelly does that kind of shock.

Nu Vibe did Beautiful People by Chris Brown and that suited them. They sounded OK but didn't come across as a group. Each seemed to have a character and the average that they'd gone for didn't allow any of them to shine. They're my prediction to go and I'm not sure anyone will be too concerned. Except them, of course.

I'd expected a lot from Marcus Collins and Moves Like Jagger by Maroon 5 should have suited him well. He'd been one of my possibles for a Final in the early days but I was not at all impressed by this nervous performance which was only just average. It started strangely, possibly a transmission or audio problem which I don't think the judges saw. In fact they were full of praise so I'm left wondering what I missed. All very average and he'd be the send home act if I were choosing. Perhaps he's so lucky James cocked up.

Samantha Brooks is Louis' 'also-ran' act. She's a nice enough person and she has a great voice, accurate notes and all that. But she's no star, no X Factor winner and watching her doing Free by Estelle was like some Top Of The pops rehearsal from the 1980s. She'll almost certainly survive for another week, though, as JonJo will go first.

The Risk sang She Said by Plan B. Excellent. This is the group to beat after Week 1. No worries about whether they'll stay or not. Every member is a great singer in their own right and some should have made through themselves perhaps in another year. The lead, stolen from The Keys, is a cool guy and very comfortable on stage. Damn good all round and they'll be around for a good many weeks yet, if not all the way to the last three.

Craig Colton was someone I knew would sing well but how would he look? Jar Of Hearts by Christina Perri sounded more like an Anthony & The Johnsons number in the way he performed it. That's meant as a compliment as he really knew what he was doing and you also felt he meant the words he sang. A totally original take on this track and quite unique, he stood out from the crowd tonight and we all forgot his odd gait and silly hair.

Kitty Brucknell is the only real contender in Louis' category. She delivered Who Wants To Live Forever by Queen in a quite remarkable way. Unexpected. She's got a huge mountain of not being liked much to get over and tonight she made a lot of progress in winning back some love. She is a superbly talented singer and performer. If they can somehow transform her to be more likeable, and fix the horrid make-up, she's another who deserves not only to be there but to survive a long time. You just know that she'll be worth watching.

Janet Devlin brings the show to a beautiful close with Fix You by Coldplay. This girl is enchanting. She really just is in a different league at the moment to the others. Whether future song choices, the others taking chances and getting big fan club following will be enough to help someone overtake her remains to be seen. What is likely to happen is that she'll be in the Final and lose out to the really popular other act, so be careful about those bets! Remember Leon and Steve won in previous years and Crystal and Adam Lambert only managed second place in American Idol!

Sunday will be an interesting show. My guess is that James, Sophie, NuVibe and JonJo leave.

Here are my ratings out of ten for singing ♫ and star quality ☼

Amelia Lily ♫ 7 ☼ 9
Johnnie ♫ 4 ☼ 7½
Rhythmix ♫ 6 ☼ 7
Frankie ♫ 9 ☼ 9
Sophie ♫ 8½ ☼ 6
JonJo ♫7½ ☼ 2
2 Shoes ♫ 6 ☼ 8
James ♫ 4 ☼ 7
Misha ♫ 9½ ☼ 7½
NuVibe ♫ 8 ☼ 6
Marcus ♫ 5 ☼ 7
Sammie ♫ 9 ☼ 3
Craig ♫ 9½ ☼ 8
The Risk ♫ 8½ ☼ 9½
Kitty ♫ 9½ ☼ 5½
Janet ♫ 10 ☼ 9

Information links from X Factor Updates

X Factor USA Boot Camp Decision Time

2011-10-08T10:59:00.000+01:00

Chris

Group 9 seemed to be on Cloud Nine as Marcus Canty and Chris Rene get plenty of screen time performing What's Going On with Brennin Hunt and a bunch of others who didn't. This set the scene for tonight's show where the cameras tended to follow certain people and you kinda guessed that they'd be the ones surviving. Something we didn't get in the UK shows or American Idol was the occasional exchanges between the judges either during the performances or just afterwards - things only those nearby would have heard and not the usually more carefully considered announcements for the audience. "She's Gotta Go," from Simon as one little tuneless girl walked off stage being a nice example.

Marcus

A bunch of what appeared to be mostly girls in Group 10 appeared briefly and we get two bars of I'm Every Woman which would have been a challenge to most of the male contestants. No idea who they were or who did well as we streaked into Group 11 doing Love Song where some people I'd never seen before demonstrated why I never seen them before. One exception was a good ol' boy called Tim Cifers who was quite impressive but that may just have been in comparison to the others who weren't.

The Brewer Boys finally get more than ten seconds air time in Group 12 and seem to be the only ones in this group who don't make a complete mess of Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars track. They seem a pretty together band and have a wholesome flop-haired look that you could imagine on the cover of an album. When they're older they could try striding over a pedestrian crossing maybe. We'll see more of them, I'm sure, if only because there seem to be precious few young lads who can hold a note in this competition, the older guys totally blowing them off the stage so far and SYCO need the mums and teen girl vote if they're going to make any money out of this. Boys don't redial umpteen times. In fact boys seldom call at all. It's not exactly cool. Can you imagine boys rushing into class the next day and jumping up and down and telling their mates how many times they voted the night before? No.

That was that. The judges now dismiss another third of the contestants and we get glimpses of one or two earlier hopefuls like Kelly going home. Not, interestingly, the little tuneless girl that Simon mentioned earlier. Seems like he doesn't always get his way. The next stage gives us a chance to see what the audience think as 60 or so move on to deliver solo performances of their choice from a range of tracks suggested. This is much more like the kind of territory they'll need to cover on the Live Shows and, with a good-sized audience too, the show is finally beginning to take shape.

First up again is Rachel Crow. I guess it must have been getting close to her bedtime. Being first on twice is still a bit strange, though. Still, she's confident and actually pretty good. I find her annoying to watch because I just don't get the feeling she gets what she's singing about. She should do Lollipop, not If I Were A Boy. and goodness knows what mum'll say when Simon gets her to do Let's Spend The Night Together on Stones Night. Anyway, yes, she'll be through, we all can guess that.

Audrey Turner follows with an earthy and loud number which included the line Ain't No Mountain High Enough which Ike would have approved of. No-one else seemed too impressed though and most of us were wondering just how old she must be beneath the stretched skin and wig.

Paige Elizabeth ought to have scored well but put in just an average performance of Somewhere Only We Know and disappointed those who'd seen her as a definite contender before.

Tiger appears and finally we get to see a genuinely good performance. He does Billy Jean, takes a chance but it works well. I tried hard to see him as a star, though, and just can't see him making it when he has the excellent Josh as competition. Josh, indeed, followed and did a couple of burrito promos before producing one of the top four auditions tonight with Up The Mountain.

Simone

Simone returns to the screen after a while. You'll remember her red hot pants. This time they were a sort of grey check and her legs seemed to have grown even longer as the cameraman also obviously noticed and decided to show us. She was supposed to sing Your Song but no-one remembers much about that apart from her forgetting the words which is probably just as well. I can see her getting through and then being the first to get voted off.

Then we get a blur of three or four acts. I can only recall Simon commenting "I don't want to hear it again" as Makenna & Brock walk off after what I had thought was a much better performance than some of the earlier stuff they'd done.

Brennin

Siameze screeches something quite a lot and just looks too weird even for American TV. Brennin, in complete contrast, does the male model industry proud and sets out to wrap up his place at the Judges' Houses by looking sultry at Paula and Nicole. Either Simon or LA Reid, however, spook his style with what seems like an over-amplified piano drowning out whatever he was trying to sing and generally the whole arrangement sounded terrible. You just know we'll see more of him for all that. He's not going to win or anything but he makes good TV in the early stages.

Stereo Hogzz

Coming up next are a series of good acts: StereoHogzz are getting lots of screen time and add an great job of Cry Me A River to that. Another Top 4 performance of the night, also getting one of the best reactions so far from the crowd.

Brian

Brian Bradley does what Brian Bradley does. This little chap's amazing and very professional. I just can't see how he's going to handle the ballad round or the Let's All Dance Nicely In White Suits as the inevitable intro that will be necessary for the Live Shows. For all that, he'll be there.

Phillip

Phillip Lomax and Chris Rene are clearly going to be competing in the Boys slot, and I wouldn't want to be the one who decides. They're both potentially big and deserve the success they've had so far. We'll see more of them in future weeks. Phillip may win out on the cool front.

Nick Dean reappears. I could have sworn that he got kicked out earlier but, whatever, he does a reasonable job of rescuing himself and girls will like him. He just doesn't match the previous pair, for instance, and unless they stuff him in some group I reckon his days are numbered on this show.

I really do find Stacy Francis difficult to watch. She's good, bags of talent, great voice and tremendous emotion comes across as she blows the audience away with Summertime. The best performance of the night. But why oh why does she insist on that long high note. It just makes us think she's showing off. We don't want to hear it any more. We can hear you can sing so shut up now and go away. Come back next week and try and remember what one of the coaches had said before: "Less is more, OK?"

Steve Jones had been making the odd appearance here and there and all credit to him for a commentary that didn't remind you that it was him doing it. He's like an audio overlay, information is provided but not intrusively. Ryan Seacrest and UK's old hand Dermot O'Leary you can't ignore. Steve you can ignore if you want to. You get to choose. Unless, that is, he's got the short sleeve blue shirt on. Then it is impossible to ignore as he has a rich brown face and lily white arms which just look very odd.

Tiah

Quite why they bring Steve on at this point is not clear but perhaps we needed a break before watching Tiah. Tiah's become one of Simon's Girls, with Tora and one or two others that we'll see more of however they perform by the looks of things. Add Simone to that list! anyway Tiah does do well this time and may have restored some faith amongst earlier doubters. She looked a lot better too. I can see her being one of those acts that look completely different each week. Following Stacy must have been tough but she did a good job. Ah, maybe that's why the inserted a Steve Jones slot.

Tora

Cari Fletcher sings well but is a bit Pia-like in that she'll do OK but not set anything alight. Drew, previously a major contender, seems to have dipped a bit with a song that didn't suit her or the audience as much as she'd probably hoped. Caitlin Koch won the day amongst this trio of talent this time with a spotless rendition of Cry Me A River. I love this girl and Steve gets her for his first ever after performance interview. She's not a likely winner, just great to watch.

Caitlin

Leroy

Leroy Bell winds up this round with a nice tone and he's something of a dark horse in this competition. Great singer in a smart, quiet way. He and Cari should get together. Again, not a winner but nice to see him getting good reviews.

So, after a whole load of music and precious few silly interruptions in a good evening's entertainment, we get the lists of people through to Judges' Houses. Eight in each category. We also get confirmation of the allocation of categories to the judges. And here, at last, they are!

Simon's Girls

Rachel Crow
Caitlin Koch
Tora Woloshin
Simone Battle
Drew Ryniewicz
Jazzlyn Little
Melanie Amaro
Tiah Tolliver

LA Reid's Boys

Brennin Hunt
Brian Bradley
Skyelor Anderson
Nick Voss
Tim Cifers
Phillip Lomax
Marcus Canty
Chris Rene

Nicole's Over 30s

Elaine Gibbs
Tiger Budbill
James Kenney
Josh Kracjik
Christa Collins
Dexter Haygood
Stacy Francis
Leroy Bell

Paula's Groups

StereoHogzz
4Shore
2 Squar'd
The Brewer Boys
Illusion Confusion
The Anser
In addition, two groups were made up from solo entries:
InTENsity (Nick Dean, Francesca Duncan, John Lindahl, Emily Michalak, Arin Ray,
Lauren Ashley, Ellona Santiago, Ma’at Bingham Shango, Austin Percario, Emily Wilson
Lakoda Rayne (Cari Fletcher, Dani Knights, Paige Ogle, Hayley Orrantia)

Bearing in mind that the huge kid's group includes the tuneless little girl I have my doubts about how far they'll go in that format and may well have to change their name to InNINEsity, I doubt if we'll see much more of that bunch in that form after Judges' Houses. On the other hand the make-up of Lakoda Rayne is superb and, if they get their act together, could be serious contenders.

In amongst this list there are several who the cameras have managed to avoid (or vice versa) clearly we still have a lot to learn. I'm not sure we will if all we get from Judges' Houses are snippets of performance and an hour of tears and judges justifying their decisions in words that mums can't sue them for!

X Factor USA Rumours

2011-10-07T01:06:00.000+01:00

I must have misread the bit about the Boot Camp being live or fairly recent. Seems it was recorded some time ago and Judges' Houses have been recorded too, mostly, which means news is trickling through from the girl who makes the tea, the boy who sets up the sound gear and, of course, all sorts of other interested people who are around at the time (including a photographer or two!), about who made it through Boot Camp as the Final 32.

I have also seen what seem to be pretty informed reports about the Final 16 appearing in the Live Shows - the important ones, what it's all about, really.

Some decisions may still be being taken though, especially in the Group department where you can expect some solo contestants to be thrown together in the hope they might do better than some of the ready-made ones who applied as groups.

It's going to be chaos, there'll be tears and there'll be more than a few surprises. In other words, Simon Cowell is up to his traditional English tricks again and that means fun for you USA viewers. The front runners aren't going to be affected by what goes on in the lower regions of the Top 16, although a particularly smart group could cause some upsets - witness 1 Direction last year in X Factor UK.

The Spoilers! page on this site contains details and will be updated as and when I get reliable information. But you might not want to look. Well, not until after the Boot Camp, at least!

X factor UK The Big Twist is a just a little kink

2011-10-06T23:48:00.000+01:00

After all the excitement and rumours all this has been about is the removal of 4 acts on Saturday's first Live Show. One from each group will be sent home. Quite frankly, that should be a pretty simple task for Louis. A bit tougher for the others, especially Tulisa who has only just managed to remember who is now in which group and I am still expecting them to get muddled up on the night.

Anyway, that's it. Official breathless wow announcement can be read here.

Apologies to Ray Davies for the post title.

X Factor USA Boot Camp 1. Five Hours To Impress

2011-10-06T23:05:00.000+01:00

Steve 'The Chin' Jones tries out a Ryan Seacrest impression with "This is [pause] ..." I had to check the schedule to make sure I wasn't watching American Idol by mistake but luckily he eventually finished with "... Boot Camp." Pictures of a little girl being woken up by Mom and another brushing her teeth. (She needn't worry too much. Everyone that gets through will get the impossibly bright white treatment anyway.) Yes, this is the part where 162 acts get whittled down to the 32 who will go to Judges' Condos.

This was so much better produced than the UK Boot Camp which looked as if it had been filmed in a village hall and where chaos reigned on a damp wood stage and we spent more time being shown people arguing or wandering around than actually performing. This time they got it spot-on with full length auditions of the groups doing their bit, allowing us to see at least some of what convinced the judges to keep them a little longer.

In Part 1, 162 acts were rapidly culled to just 100 and those who either couldn't dance or who simply shouldn't have been there in the first place were got rid of. The rest were divided into bunches of seven or eight acts and given just five hours to learn the track the judges gave them. No questions, just get on with it. Prior to that, the 100 were treated to a party, presumably the 12 year olds getting fizzy pop instead of the champagne unless they managed to sneak back downstairs when their parents dozed off.

Chin Jones produced another classic piece of fatuous commentary with: "Some of the 100 remaining decide to have an early night. The others stay up and party into the night." Duh. Maybe, Steve, some went for a walk, some got off with the girl in hot pants, some watched X factor UK recordings or just said 'stuff the party I'm off for a pizza'. And whereas Ryan or UK's excellent Dermot O'Leary would have been in amongst the crowd having a good time, Chin Jones was nowhere to be seen. I guess he was rehearsing another truck window shot.

As the 5 hour fuse was set alight we discover that Ike Turner's ex, Audrey, is one of the contestants. She just appears from nowhere and even Simon seems a bit surprised as someone from the production team explains who she is and how she got in.

I struggled to catch the names of all the performers but the screen helpfully had some of the names - also a bit of a hint as to who is expected to be around for a while if they've gone to the trouble of making the overlays -and on stage came Group 1 with Drew, Caitlin Koch and The Anser looking and sounding good. Elaine outperformed Audrey Turner in my view but the Over30s category may need Audrey to make up the numbers and so both may survive a bit longer. They did Creep pretty damn well, Drew clearly establishing a place for herself.

In group 2 Jazzlyn, who I still can't believe is only 16 (and who wouldn't look out of place in the Over 30s if they're still a bit short next week), forgot her words to the appropriately titled U2 number, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. She was great, though, for all that, as was Melanie and some guys who didn't get their names on the overlay. Stacy had previously been shown holding a note for an annoyingly silly length of time - the clip in fact being shown twice which gave me enough time on each occasion to make a cup of coffee and have a chat with my mother. She managed to keep a bit quieter in the group performance and did reasonably well, seeming to impress the judges but still looking in all the shots we were shown as if she'd got a lemon stuck under her tongue and had the type of expression on her face that made you wonder whether she'd ever smiled in her life.

Desperado for Group 3 might have been one of Simon's jokes but if it was it backfired. Dani Knights, Paige and good ol' Leroy in his woolly hat excelled. Skyelor didn't but I have a feeling he'll still get through as he looks good and can probably sing other stuff better. Cari Fletcher doesn't seem to have many fans amongst the judges, despite putting in a good performance but Paige did outclass her on this crucial occasion.

Group 4 had little Brian who was duly relieved to have the rap-embellished version of Wishing On A Star. The little fellow forgot his words but was still quite determined to take over the whole thing. He's good entertainment, which might still get him through to the live shows but JenniFay, Lauren and Reina showed him he wasn't the only one determined to show off with their own excellent input regardless of what he was doing.

Josh K totally took over the Group 5 performance of Superman, with Tiger B getting Simon's attention too. James K was another outstanding act in this bunch but little Nick Dean wobbled on and off notes and completely lost it midway. That'll be embarrassing when he goes back to school on Friday.

Group 6 brought us Philip Lomax and Nick Voss doing well with I'm Feeling Good. All American cheerleader girl Kelly hardly got a look in but Tiah managed to muscle into the act and make her presence felt and heard. Quite what Simon sees in her I'm not sure. I wouldn't keep her but you just know she'll be at the Condos.

I Have Nothing At All looked like a tough number to learn for Group 7 but it finished up as one of the best with superb short notice contributions from 4Shore, Hayley and Ellona as well as the cheeky 14 year old who started the whole series, Rachel C. We'd been tricked by some rehearsal footage into thinking she was going to make a complete mess and miss all the notes but she actually did pretty well. I just don't get someone her age singing those lyrics and it didn't do much to convince me she was that good. However, I expect she'll be good entertainment value too so expect more.

Finally we get Run, for which Snow Patrol had to share credits with Leona Lewis. Well, I suppose it was her version that made the Snow Patrol writers and SYCO the most money. This was a great way to end Boot Camp Part 1 with every one of its members bar one act doing an inspiring job and impressing, even surprising, the judges.these included Siameze Floyd, Jeremiah, the Song Preservation Society (who??) and StereoHogzz. Some 12 year old called Emily featured in Group 8 too. She was reasonably good and I don't recall seeing her before but 12?? Really? That doesn't make sense. The act that didn't seem to do anything for anyone was Makenna & Brock. Either they're really old-fashioned, have been brought up by maiden aunts who beat them if they show any inclination towards the opposite sex or they're putting on a damn good act for the cameras by staying a safe distance from each other at all times and not exactly setting their audience alight with any passion. I can imagine them doing lift music. They'd be ideal material for Back To The Future IV if it ever gets made and a couple from 1957 is needed. In a similar vein, it is also a relief to report that Ausem were not at all obvious. I suppose they may appear in Part 2 but we live in hope that they were amongst the 62 kicked out at the start.

I lost count of how many acts had been on screen by the end of this show but I don't think it was 100 so presumably we get some more tomorrow. That should be some show with a massive 68 of them being thrown out. Tonight's show started with Paula in tears for some reason never explained. I should imagine that there'll be plenty more where they came from amongst the 68, as well as some of the 32 successful ones, in Boot Camp 2.

.

X Factor UK: The Live Show Twist?

2011-10-03T15:54:00.001+01:00

Olly Murs mentioned that there's "a big twist" coming up for the Live Shows. That's got everyone wondering what the hell that might be. All good publicity too, but that's all part of the fun. So I thought I'd round up what people are suggesting:

There'll be four wild cards, bringing back someone from each category who we think has been sent home.

C'mon.. that's crazy! Managing 20 contestants is abit over the top and, anyway, we would have heard about it because the acts concerned would have to perform which means they'd be rehearsing and some cameraman or admin staff at ITV would have spilt a bean or two by now. And for some that could be the third or fourth time they've been sent home and then had a camera crew rushing after a judge rushing after them to say "sorry we didn't mean that."

Cheryl will be back as an extra, supposedly impartial judge.

Possible. Avoids the drama of the two-two split and kicking out the one with the lowest public vote. But that's usually good TV.

Simon Cowell will be back.

That's a popular one but pretty unlikely as he's tied up with X Factor USA. Or is he? Depends on the demands of Boot Camp USA and Judges Condos USA as they're a few weeks behind. Weekends look free on their schedule for a while so he could fly back and join in but unless he actually changes something that's no big twist.

They switch around the judges and categories.

Now that would give Louis a chance of not getting quite so mauled on twitter but it's a bit much to expect some one to take over a bunch of people chosen by someone else. Sounds nonsense to me.

Double eliminations for the first couple of weeks. Or four acts going in the first week.

Personally, I always feel sorry for whoever gets thrown out in the first week unless they're a complete and utter disaster - and truly disastrous acts usually survive for a while as they get the 'Wagner Vote' so it's someone who just didn't quite get their song or self together for that first live performance, possibly of their lives, who goes. They'd go anyway - I don't think anyone from previous years stood a chance - but I still feel it's a rough bit of luck.

No-one goes in the first week.

Following on from the last one this could make sense. Then some doubles or whatever kick in from Week 2. Still no Big Twist, though. Just a Little Tweak.

The eliminations are decided purely by the public vote à la Big Brother. Or we vote to send home, just for a change.

Not much point having the judges in the first instance and are people really going to spend money to get rid of people in the second?

Simon Cowell will merge the two shows and have USA contestants on the UK show and vice versa. Call it X Factor Global.

I invented the name but someone else came up with that mad idea. Not only do the schedules not really make that feasible but the mere logistics of judges and votes makes my head hurt.

Contestants vote for each other à la Fame Academy (remember Fame Academy with Robin Gibb, Patrick Kielty, Cat Deeley and Richard Park?)

Well, they are having videos from the X Factor 'House' which will show what they've all been doing. Thereagain, that didn't exactly set the ratings alight.

The winner will be Britain's entry in Eurovision 2012 and/or sing the opening thing at the Olympics.

Bit boring for a Big Twist.

Week 1 is a Chubby Checker round.

Basically I haven't the foggiest idea. Have you?

X Factor UK: 16 Through To The Live Shows

2011-10-03T10:38:00.000+01:00

So, at last, after two evenings of pretty mind-numbing TV, lots of pool shots, tears and really quite annoying editing that stretched out the judges' decisions to such an extent that made Dermot's pause before announcing last year's winner seem positively brief, we get the final 16.

Four acts in each of the categories have made it through to the real show. Until now, we've had snippets of performances here and there, extended ones for some (thanks mainly to Xtra Factor which has been far more interesting and informative to date) but from next week we should start to see just what these guys can do.

Because all the programmes to date were actually recorded a while ago, you could have found out who made it with a few searches anyway so there were no surprises but in the Over 25s Carloynn Poole must be disappointed that Louis chose Johnny Robinson, presumably for the show's obligatory comic act, and even preferred Sammie Brookes when Goldie left. In the Girls, Sophie has been almost invisible so far in comparison to Jade who had loads of screen time. Put the two side by side with the volume turned off, though, and you can see why Kelly decided to go with Sophie. Neither are potential winners, however, so it doesn't matter too much now.

Gary Barlow had Robbie Williams with him to help with some choices but, from the eight he started with, that wasn't too difficult. Whilst Frankie has had all the publicity so far, James looks like one of those acts that make the show really interesting in that if he's as good as I think he could be then watch his progress through the weeks. Craig will let the mums' votes.

The Groups have been a nightmare to keep up with, Tulisa mixing and matching and basically taking a bundle of solo applicants and juggling them around to make some bands. She even had the cheek to take the lead singer from an established band, The Keys, and re-make an already manufactured group, The Risk, chucking out two and bringing Charlie from The Keys in. She's also made a couple of other groups, Nu Vibe and Rhythmix, including some decent talent who didn't make it through on their own. If anyone had told me that 2 Shoes would be the sole original group out of goodness knows how many must have applied to make it through then I would have thought they were mad.

Kelly Rowland has three potential winners in the Girls category in my view. If Janet gets the right tracks to perform and keeps her nerve then she will be in a category of her own. Louis, I'm afraid, has a losing team once again. Gary's James and Frankie will be competing for the girl fan votes and one will be a contender. Tulisa's groups are a mystery - I have a suspicion two will be around for a long time in the competition.

The fun starts, next week, at last!

X Factor USA Auditions End. Next Stop Boot, Trainer and Stiletto Camp.

2011-10-01T00:55:00.000+01:00

This was a long, long show. It dragged and seemed to have more dreadful rubbish than the others that had gone before. In the UK about 200 acts made it to Boot Camp. I've counted about 40 getting through to Boot Camp USA so far. I'm also struggling to figure out just how all those huge masses of people we saw waiting in line outside various venues got whittled down to what can't have been more than 50 on the stage in front of the judges each day with just 20 at most actually making it to our screens in each place. Someone must know how that works. Some major culling must have happened somewhere. There's also a load we haven't seen much of at all. Anyway, tonight we found another dozen acts and two or three who'll be in the Live Shows.

New Jersey

Kicked off with a little rapper called Brian. Brian? He'll need to change that to something more rebellious and give Michael Caine back his glasses. Great performance by this talented 14 year old lad but don't tell me that wasn't rehearsed as he went straight in to his track without being asked the usual silly questions they have written down. Quite how he'll fit in with the others in the live rounds I don't know, and I just don't see how he'll cope with the Let's Sing Abba Songs or Elvis week with Bono or Tony Christie mentoring them. To save Paula having to translate the rap for Simon every week I reckon LA Reid should just give the boy a deal now and leave the rest to get on with things.

Kelly cuts hair in a nursing home. I don't know why we needed to know that but it was interesting that the one line we did hear in her song from Hallelujah included 'cuts hair' - is this SYCO doing a subconscious promotion? Maybe I'll get a sudden craving to go out and buy some scissors or shampoo. That one line was good though and the all-American girl who surely has to have been a cheerleader once upon a time gets through easily.

Simon has some doubts about a chap called Aaron who looked about 30 years older than he probably was. He gets through to Boot Camp too and maybe he'll surprise us all but I shall not hold my breath. Unless they find some more Over 30s, Paula and Nicole will have to put themselves in the category to make up the numbers. Even then, Nicole will probably have trouble deciding whether to put herself through.

Three more reasonable sounding or looking acts get through in a few glimpses which simply weren't worth showing and then we did get a longer look at Liliana Rose. She says she sings in a cubicle. Good voice and if she gets the sort of makeover X Factor does tend to do in later rounds then I can see people liking her. Not sure whether they'd vote though.

There was a cringe-worthy moment with Andy who hadn't ever had a girlfriend and had brought his mum with him. Why do we need to see this poor chap? Move on.

An idiot follows and, thankfully, quickly goes off again and then we get the hilarious Clarissa audition. "People scream when I sing at karaoke," she announced before she started. Then she does start and we find out why. It's clearly to get her off the ruddy stage but she must have thought they loved her and Simon has trouble controlling himself.

More wastes of time and space and then Cari Fletcher attempts Heart's Alone. Very unsure at the start and I really didn't hear whatever LA Reid, Nicole and Paula heard to be so enthusiastic about. Had they forgotten some of the earlier auditions where they'd danced, applauded and raved about people in previous weeks? This very pretty girl wouldn't stand a chance against some of them. Simon seems to talk sense and is probably the first person ever to call the girl boring and, in so far as she hasn't got much chance of getting past Boot Camp, a No would have been reasonable. Just in case she suddenly gets her nerves sorted and totally wows people, though, he plays it safe and agrees with the others with a Yes. As I said, she was very beautiful.

I might find myself calling the next act Ad Nauseam but I had better start by being fair. They're Ausem. Don't ask. That would have been enough for me to tell them to go home. They do a sort of Glee excerpt badly. The young lad, Austin, could be a contender on his own. Not sure about the girl. With some good mentoring and a lot of practice, though, I can see them getting piles of teenage votes if they do make the Group category - and they'll be pretty unique there too from what we've seen to date. "For God's sake, give them a Yes or a No," suggests Simon as Nicole struggles to make a decision. "Yes or bloody no!" he shouts. Reasonable question and I am sure I would have done the same thing as the silly woman seems to need someone to replace her batteries or something. I just really do hope that wasn't some rehearsed thing to spice up an otherwise ailing show tonight.

Oh, yes, they got through. Paula was going to say Yes anyway so they could have completely ignored Nicole but there you go. Nicole is not exactly setting the panel alight so far. LA Reid has settled in and established a stance, a stare and an iconic neck dance already.

Other places they missed before

In the middle of the show we suddenly get the truck window man Steve again. Those shots only serve to make me wonder how many takes they did with what I guess must have been another truck alongside with a camera dangling out of its window. Steve doesn't strike me as someone who remembers lines easily.

The next hour seems to be a round-up of whoever we might not have seen in other places which makes you wonder whether they'd expected more talent than they actually found when first planning the audition shows.

One was well worth watching, though. Tora. Full of life. She builds race cars and looks cute. She soon had LA doing the neck dance that looks like becoming a standard feature of the shows and the rest of us trying to figure out what she has tattooed on her cheek. She clearly thoroughly enjoyed a great performance. A bit rough when stretching to higher notes but she sure has something special and would be a super addition to the Live Shows which she stands an excellent chance of reaching, if only because the producers can relax and know they have someone who won't make a cock-up. Haley springs to mind from last season's Idol. I wish her well and hope the papers don't dig up anything from her past.

More rubbish follows - not the best of evenings so far - and then four guys calling themselves the Stereo Hoggs do an uninspiring and instantly forgettable number but still get through. I guess they're low in the Group department numbers. And they need some competition for Ad Nauseam in the Live Shows or SYCO won't get so much phone vote revenue.

Brinnan brings up the standard a bit and seems to appeal to Simon who probably hopes to see a younger version of himself in the chap. The girls just like the way he looks and giggle their Yes votes. He'll be OK as long as the songs he's given stay within one octave. But all credit to him for taking a risk with his own song.

Paige Elizabeth is great and wants to take out Justin Bieber and not for an evening meal either. We only get a fraction of her performance but she's a contender. She gets followed by a rush of ten second acts that I can't keep up with but one did stand out and that was Nick Dean. Good name, good looks and his own track Walk Away gets the 14 year old into the kids' slot safely.

More crap. Oh please end my pain! We get a dreadful two minutes of one fool who I'm sure is added in just in an attempt to entertain us but unfortunately it is just bad TV and I'm amazed that no-one realised that when putting tonight's show together. Go away. This is rubbish and there's 20 minutes still to go. I'm tempted to watch some old recordings of American Idol instead or put a Leonard Cohen cassette on to cheer me up. It would have to be a cassette so I can get a nice load of hiss in the background to get that stupid number song out of my head.

Finally we get to what they say is the final contestant and she really is just that - and a Final contender at that, I reckon. Jazzlyn we will hear a lot more about. She will have had far more than 500 hits on her single previous YouTube video by now as her audition was one of the best of the series so far. I guess that's why they left it to the end. Not a track to everyone's taste but I like the fact that she's different. At just 16 she is something else and if she can keep her nerve in Boot Camp she'll be there for many more weeks. Nice girl too. Either she really does lose herself in her music or the initial walk-on nerves were an act and, as Simon says in an aside, "We've been worked" is what some might believe.

So that's it. The mad period of the raunchy, the rough, the ridiculous and really good is over. Boot Camp follows when whoever got through fight for just 32 places. We've obviously not been shown more than a glimpse of some and unless I dozed off, I can only recall five Groups that we've actually seen that stand a vague chance. The Over 30s are thin on the ground too and only just enough for some debate over the eight to go to Judges' Houses. In contrast, we have seen eight kids who deserve to go through as well as another eight older boys or girls. That's where we are also going to see a whole new bunch of people and some major weeping and wailing - the Judges' Houses section will be an emotional drain of an evening in a damp October, folks. It's hard enough to watch grown men cry but this time we'll have 14-year-old kids blubbing and, unless he's hiding some human abilities extremely well, I just don't see truck window man Steve comforting some heart-broken 16 year old girl making comfortable television.

Josh Slings Burritos And Drew Wows In La-La Land

2011-09-29T23:29:00.000+01:00

Chicago and Seattle auditions. What a great show! Somehow the producers have done a much sharper, well-paced job than the Brits. Yes, there are the annoying shots of Steve Jones as a passenger in a truck or looking increasingly unshaven and uncomfortable with contestants before and after (he really has got a hill to climb if he's going to compete with the Seacrest standard). But, yes, yes, yes, we're getting good glimpses of some of those who will make it through the next few rounds.

Chicago

In fact, I have a feeling we might have seen a couple of Final contenders today, and that's saying something. A great start with Brock & Makenna. A name like a department store that will have to be changed for the Scottish market to avoid confusion with badgers or some kind of nasty injury - but at least we remember them. Nice wholesome couple who sang well. A bit bland but they've got potential, especially if they can get it together rather than behaving like a couple whose really strict parents tell them how terribly bad kissing can be. I can even see Simon stealing the girl and dumping the boy if he's short of talent for the solo Girls.

Kim followed, leading the mercifully brief burst of the crap section. Dressed in what looked like a small scarf around the middle of a pretty massive frame you just had to thank Velcro that it stayed on as the very ex-opera singer wobbled dreadfully.

Some old woman came on to audition for the Judge job. Had someone already told her Cheryl was getting the sack?

More trouble with names for me as Skyelor came on to bring us back to the talent bit. Loved his "I came too far to stop now" as the music stopped in the middle of his track. Nice, straight guy who could well be a shoe-in for the Live Shows.

Mark Jay Mark couldn't make his mind up what his name was which was more than a little worrying for someone studying for a Ph.D. However, with comments like "I want to destroy the Top 40" and being the first ever contestant in any music competition I can recall to use the word algorithm he was going to be either totally awful or brilliant. Announcing that he'd be doing Creep, I thought the "Fitting" remark by LA Reid (or was it Simon?) a bit out of order. To his own backing track, which was good, he put on a totally cool performance and could bring some unpredictability to some future shows as no-one will know what to expect. Three instant yesses from LA Reid, Cheryl and Paula but either I missed Simon's response or they didn't show it. Interesting, if they didn't.

Paula then went into some strange world, inspired by Mark Jay Mark, and some clever editing brought all the weirder acts in quick succession thereafter. One mentioned what sounded like SYCO Fairies which wasn't an ad for the Cowell company but something about psycho-fairies.

Duane appears as what I imagine a psycho-fairy would look like with an art rock number. Paula complements him or her on their design talent but no-one mentions the singing. "Simon, do you like puppies?" asked Paula for absolutely no obvious reason at all. Simon takes a break and announces to the camera that they're all in La-la Land, so completing very nicely this bizarre section.

Arin Ray gets one of those brief flash spots and looked popular with the audience and walks off with four yesses. Over 30, so may be heading for the Judges' Houses where we'll see more.

The first hour ends with Josh Crajcik who slings burritos, whatever they are. We definitely need subtitles in the UK. Looking pretty unkempt and tattily dressed, we had no idea what to expect. What we got was a superb version of At Last in one amazing audition. Almost a SuBo moment. This guy is a definite for the Live Shows in my view and makes the Over 30s competition quite interesting. He's got a great laugh and ended a great show. Almost all the over ten second slots were of genuine talent and we didn't have to squirm at rubbish and wonder why they were wasting good TV time. X Factor UK eat your burritos out!

Seattle

I was beginning to wish I hadn't written the preceding paragraph as a dreadfully large pink couple appeared. The Good Girls were neither. One had apparently written a screenplay about Simon some years back that he knew about and I'm not so sure this wasn't a performance designed to be featured in some future production of How we appeared on X Factor or something similarly dire. They attempted to do a track that must have had Marvyn Gaye turning over and over in his grave and breaking wind at the same time. Maybe that explained the hurricanes and earthquakes around at the time of these auditions.

At the completely opposite extreme we met Drew Rynewicz. 14, With the obligatory "Wow" from LA Reid. She was "really cool" and "totally" whatever which was almost refreshing after all the old people. Seeing the parents' names on the overlay during the preview, though, was a good hint that we might be watching someone who'll be back again. And, boy, was that so! My prediction for not just the Live Shows but a Final Four. Fabulous. Reminded me of the current UK front-runner, Janet Devlin. Possibly better.

Peet came along next and you kinda feel sorry for him, not for the name but as he clearly isn't going to get his dream of being a teen idol just yet. Pity, a nice guy but not a winner.

4Shore, a group at last, proved a big hit with LA Reid doing something he wrote for BoyzIIMen. Dodgy start was quickly overlooked and they looked professional and sounded good once they'd got it together. In such a void of groups so far, they could do well.

Elaine Gibbs did the Aretha thing - one of the few so far. I'd expected loads of church singers belting it out but, like the cowboys, conspicuous by their absence in what we're shown in these auditions. She's followed by a pretty girl called Francesca who also gets through but doesn't really set the stage alight. Francesca's followed by flashes of people getting yesses which I suppose make us feel that there'll be plenty for the judges to choose from at Bootcamp but you do have to wonder why they bother. A chap called Tiger with a big voice scrapes in too.

Frank Sinatra makes a reappearance in the form of Philip Lomax. Well, his hat and confidence at least. This guy looks like a reliable performer and could be different enough and look good on the Live Shows and get a good few girls' votes.

Some more pretty girls don't get Nicole or Paula's approval - the Pink Stilettos look a bit disappointed having done nothing particularly wrong and Ivana Steelman is left standing looking a bit confused as Nicole decides to relive her Popster audition for some reason best known to herself.

This session ends with a girl called Tiah looking just a little frightening for my taste and I was about to write that she wouldn't be joining the Pias, Thias or any other singing -ias in getting famous when Tiah Wars break out between the judges. Simon is adamant that she should go through whilst Paula and Nicole don't get whatever it is he sees. When you think of all the rubbish they have put through, and it doesn't exactly cost them much to send them to Bootcamp either, it would have seemed simplest just to nod her through and get on with life. Maybe they hadn't got anything else to show and needed to draw out time for TV.

All in all, though, still no cowboys but one great show and X Factor UK producers watching could usefully take note!

Where Have All The Cowboys Gone?

2011-09-29T19:23:00.000+01:00

As the auditions roll on in X Factor USA (and my take on the first of this week's shows is coming up next), it's clear that there's a mass of the Great and Good to be sorted out in later shows. I won't mention the Pointless, Pathetic or Plain participants. Oh, too late, I just have.

In the UK show, we've just been through what they call 'Bootcamp'. that's a very appropriate word - for both reasons. In X Factor USA they'll probably call it Fireflake. It's the sort of opposite of The Apprentice where many candidates seem to try their hardest not to impress but, remarkably, still get through.

It's been a really crazy time with 200 being culled in two hours' viewing to 32, eight who'll be whisked off to each of the Judges 'Houses' (or island, condo or somewhere they've borrowed with a pool and a large sofa to cuddle losers on). Three or four will be completely mad but predicted to make good television. Of our 32, the 'chosen' twelve for the Live Shows include some acts we've hardly seen at all, and several who were sent home in earlier shows! Three of the Groups are made up from solo contestants who didn't make it as 'Girls' or 'Boys'. You just have to hope they get counselling from SYCO at some point.

It's all going to be fun, of course, but don't get too excited yet if your favourite gets through (or depressed if they don't)!

Lastly for now, bearing in mind Scotty and Lauren's success in American Idol I was expecting to see lots of Country acts but so far I can't recall anyone obvious in that genre being shown getting four nods from the judges. Maybe they're saving them all up for a Lone Simon Blues Special.

X Factor UK: Bootcamp 2 - The final 32 selected (and it's not who you thought)

2011-09-26T03:10:00.000+01:00

Even if you paid attention during the second Bootcamp show and carefully listened to the judges, Olly and Caroline on Xtra Factor you still wouldn't have got the right list of acts going through to the Judges' Houses stage. In fact, you wouldn't have even seen Holly Ripton before but there she is - in the Girls last 8. And who's that with her? Sarah Watson. Who? Uh huh - another you won't recognise.

The shows did, though, at last, show us most of the chosen acts and enough of them actually performing to convince us either that they well deserved their places abroad for a few weeks or didn't but they're going anyway and we can just hope that they don't make the final 3 and appear on the live shows when idiots could start voting for them and they might stay even longer.

You needed to watch The Xtra Factor to get the best information in what is proving to be a considerably better production than in previous years.

So, here are the (possibly!) last 32 acts for X Factor UK 2011. If there are no more surprises then these should be cut down to a final 12 so this is as far as 5 acts in each set will go.

Girls (Kelly Rowland)

Misha, Janet and Jade are the likely Live Show stars and I have a feeling that Misha and Jade will give us all plenty to giggle about in tweets about clothing.

Boys (Gary Barlow)

Frankie and James are the front runners in the Boys but every one except John Wilding and Luke Lucas are strong contenders and all of them seem to be able to perform well.

Groups (Tulisa)

Goodness knows what is happening in Group Land! The only original groups to get through are Estrella, The Keys, Girl v Boy and 2 Shoes. Thankfully Kendro didn't make it. So there has been a massive construction job with solo contestants that didn't make it to their respective last 8s. This has usefully given another chance to a few who deserve to be there although quite how they'll fare in bands which, from most of the quotes from the judges during the shows, have been decided on how they look together! Good grief. Even as we watched the last of the tears been wiped away at the end of the Bootcamp Show, however, we didn't actually have the full story.

Rhythmix is actually made up of Jade and LeAnn picked from Orion, a band that had been put together by the judges at Bootcamp. Jessie and Perry joined from Faux Pas, which had also been created from solo contestants somewhere along the line. Obviously neither Onion nor Faux Pas had worked and Rhythmix is a much better name anyway. You have to feel sorry for the other contestants in Onion and Faux Pas, though, not just for the names of the bands they were momentarily having to be in but having been given that 'lifeline' in Bootcamp 1 it must have been pretty sad finding half of their band went through and they didn't after all that.

Overs (Louis)

What can I say? Oh dear. Only Louis could possibly look pleased with this strange bunch. Kitty and Carolynn have a lot of potential. Terry and Samantha can sing well but just don't strike me as being the sort of act that sells records other than at Christmas. Johnny is hilarious to watch but surely we're not going to see him in the Live Shows? Joe and JonJo are decent enough blokes but they're lucky to have a free bit of sunshine. And, yes, there's Goldie. As Louis said "I can't imagine a show without Goldie!" That just about sums that up then. at least there's no Wagner.

X Factor UK: Bootcamp 1 Hello Goodbye

2011-09-24T22:44:00.000+01:00

I hadn't realised that there was enough grass in Croydon, South London, for over 200 X Factor contestants in the 186 acts who'd made it through to bootcamp. But there they all were and, on cue, most of them did the jumping up and down bit when the judges arrived in black Jaguars (Ford getting in on the UK act too!)

Once they'd settled down 32 acts learned that they were already at the end of the road which may not have been great news for them but will be a great relief to viewers as they probably shouldn't have been there in the first place. The remaining 150 odd were then split into groups and given one track to perform in Wembley later that evening. Now that was a lot better organised than the American Idol farce when everyone was told to form themselves into groups and we had to watch the ridiculous nonsense of the eventually winner wandering around for virtually the whole of rehearsal time trying to find a bunch of competitors who weren't put off by Baby Lock Then Doors which seemed to be the only song he knew last year. Here in sunny South London each group dutifully went and sat under a tree and, when not being disturbed by Olly or wasps, attempted to put together some kind of performance that might keep them on track for another week.

With only 32 acts scheduled to get to the next stage, judges' houses, though, that's one hell of a lot of people who'll be not making it. Roughly 1 act per group by my calculations. You got the impression they'd done the same sums too as the idea of a 'group' performance was pretty much forgotten by those with any sense and the big personalities just did what they felt like. Occasionally that got really embarrassing: Goldie snaking about and heading in Louis' direction, making his day but spoiling anyone else's. Plenty of other examples but, quite frankly, there's no point listing them as the whole thing is really for the judges to view how people interact and perform and all we get to see is a few seconds' worth of a few people which makes writing anything vaguely intelligent damn difficult.

Something else that is difficult to figure out as we have seen so little of them is the groups. You only had to look at the expression on Gary's face to see that Kendro survive a little longer, or it may have been Two Shoes. The Keys got some airtime and Estrelle a short burst but that was it. A lifeline was thrown to some of those who failed in the the first section - with some manufactured groups being arranged as has become traditional now. Last year's 1 Direction kept us entertained well until the final. That may give people like the previously excellent Derry a chance but hopefully not too many also-rans. The lifeline may be more for the programme's benefit this year as we've seen precious little that looks like coming close to winning so far.

All we can do is wait till tomorrow when we find out who gets through, who gets which categories and we can start to concentrate on the actual potential stars there and who can join Amelia, Misha and Kitty to challenge Frankie and Janet for the prize.

Miami, Melanie, Raisin' Long Horn and Caitlyn Plays Rugby

2011-09-24T00:20:00.001+01:00

Something in the water in Miami seems to have given everyone some excessive self-belief. We started with Ashley who even said that she inspired herself but that doesn't say a great deal about how she felt beforehand. The view of the judges' panel seemed to show that Paula had shrunk and Simon had grown which tended to help take one's mind off the family collecting the first performer as she was sent off with four Nos. "Was my performance that bad?" she asked. Interestingly, there was no answer.

The nightmare continued with Chanel who was awful, Kanan Road who were lost somewhere along the way and the bad Dream Girlz themselves and clips of adoring parents or friends saying how great their children or relatives were and confirmed how misguided they all were themselves.

Nicole still hadn't actually said anything on the show until after the sixth act and two ad breaks. Paula was getting tinier by the minute and LA had the look of someone who had applied for a top chauffeur's job and been given a Citroën 2CV. Gloria Estefan tried to rescue Miami's image, which was rapidly descending into the mire, by appearing briefly high up in some seats somewhere but didn't quite have the same effect as Lady Gaga had had last year when singing On the Edge from a similar height on American Idol.

Caitlyn Curtis arrives on stage. I love LA's expression as he says "How old are you? Sixteen? Wow, really?!" thinking that she looked 26. Caitlyn did Taylor Swift and I could see Simon putting her through and then maybe adding her in to one of those manufactured groups that usually get put together for the live shows. However, they didn't like her and we got the real Taylor as background to her departure which was just a little harsh but there you go and there she went.

Nick Voss had one of those big build-ups before an ad break so you kinda knew he'd be OK, especially as there were prepared clips with his parents names subtitled as well. "The next contestant's going to have it hard." says LA. The Equal Opportunities Commission would have been on the phone to sack him immediately in this country. The guy does an animated version of Trouble and Paula shows just why she's so good as a judge with some spot-on advice and comments. Looking at yet another desperate mother shot, though, I can well understand why X Factor UK host Dermot O'Leary is happy to leave the job to the Welshman.

Ashley Deckard says she's 14. "Aren't you cute?" says Paula. Er, no. She talks to ghosts and assures Simon Cowell that she could bring some to the show. She had a brief shot at Price Tag and it nearly worked but her talents as a ghost-bringer were clearly better than as a singer and proven as she was followed by an appalling load of rubbish. In fact, I was beginning to think that the space débris falling through the sky this evening had actually landed on Mirabella in the middle of her performance of Summertime. Somehow they vote her through to bootcamp. Things are not looking good in Miami.

Finally, the producers must have decided that they'd annoyed viewers sufficiently and brought on 2 Squar'd - OK but nothing special, Kendra - tinny at times, Brendan - pleasant chap and much needed in the Over 30s category, someone else who sounded like Joe McElderry (X Factor UK winner 2008) that other boys will like in bootcamp and finally we get someone really good. In fact, really very good. Melanie Amaro was one of the best voices I've heard in a competition for a while. (I honestly did write that before Paula said it!) She gets a standing ovation from all four judges and she'll be in the finals.

From Miami we go to Dallas and expectations were high. "I just love raisin' long horn" isn't the sort of thing you can say on the UK version of the show, though. We saw plenty of low-voiced, laid back guys in big hats and jeans and Dylan in a strange baseball cap. I guess they don't have mirrors out on the ranches. He was pathetic.

Wesley was almost as bad and you could see the production team's work again - give us a load of crap for twenty minutes and then slowly bring us up to some good stuff before the end. Michael and Michelle looked downright ridiculous and Curtis Lawson made us all wonder whether Ashley Deckard had brought the ghosts up from Miami to Dallas, being totally out of this world but not in a good way.

The weep-and-then-feel-good bit came at last with Dexter. Starting with a reasonable James Brown tribute you could see he was going to get through but we'd have the 'Try something else' bit from Simon before he did. He could be another much-needed addition to the Over 30s.

A couple more acts whizzed across the scene and thanked everyone profusely for putting them through but I have no idea why. Caitlyn Koch pronounced her name very clearly as Cook and proceeded to head us closer to the end of the show with a second Wow Factor with an original and immaculate version of Stop In The Name Of Love and it was difficult to tell whether it was that or her looks which blew Simon away. She'll be around for a good time too.

There was a chap called Storm on the UK show last year who Simon insisted on calling Lee and it all got a bit embarrassing. Same again tonight with Zander who really did not want to be called Alexander and, despite the contestant's attitude, Simon's insistence did get a bit tedious after a while. For all that, Zander had a decent voice and, whilst he doesn't stand a chance against two or three of the acts we've seen so far, he deserved the bootcamp place and support they all gave him in the end.

Looking at how massive the queues and crowds have been for these auditions we can surely only be seeing a tiny proportion of who is actually getting through. If Simon doesn't put a fourth Cease and Desist Notice on X Factor Updates' site or tweets as @tvcritics then we'll probably find out soon who actually does make it to the Judges' Houses section. That's when it gets interesting. For now, though, it's entertainment and we do have to remember that one of these people is going to be $5 million better off by Christmas. Have we already seen her, I wonder?

A Bugatti, a big truck and X Factor USA sets off in style

2011-09-22T22:12:00.000+01:00

So Simon was appeased towards them, and fought no more against them but put them out of the city, and cleansed the houses wherein the idols were and so entered into it with songs and thanksgiving.

Well, that just about sums it up nicely. You may not be familiar with the Book of Maccabees in the Bible Apochrypha but you will have heard of Simon, as in Cowell, who has brought X Factor across the Atlantic to the good people of the United States of America.

It all kicked off in a fine, well-edited style this week - something that won't be quite so easy to organise, sorry, organize, when we get to the live shows.

The man himself appeared with one of the world's fastest and most expensive cars, in black of course, after a strange clip of a Welshman driving a truck across a golden prairie so strongly reminiscent of the Coke Christmas ads that I'm surprised Pepsi haven't demanded equal billing. La Reid and Cheryl Cole were given suitably massive build-ups with reference to millions of sales and artists galore. The fourth judge, Paula, stolen from early Idol panels, was 'someone who had had some hits in the past too'. We all love her, though, and just know she'll be everyone's favourite and is well-equipped to handle Simon should he need restraint.

Rachel Crowe was first on the stage to audition and an excellent choice by the producers. (It took a moment to get over the shot of her little sister stuffing a massive slice of pizza into her mouth, though.) In fact she could have been auditioning as a comedy act on America's Got Talent. She sang Mercy pretty well, although it was slightly worrying watching a 13 year-old wagging a finger at LA Reid and singing about being down on her knees. A pretty cool opening performance for all that and she'll be through to a future show or two, maybe further, if only because she'll also make good TV.

Terrell Carter represented the good looking guy in his late twenties group and impressed Cheryl with his package but not me that much, wobbling around the track and not an obvious No 1 act for Christmas in my book.

Ellona followed for the feisty girl section, trying far too hard and way OTT. Instantly forgettable. Er... who was she?

A young kid called John arrives and sounds pretty groovy for a young kid named John. He could be a contender but we only got a short burst to judge by.

Now here's the wacky section - one amazing dancer and Prince-like singer called Simonze could be worth a second look, combining Adam Lambert with a Circus Act with a bit of Alien thrown in for good measure. Then the fun, or tedium, depending on your view, continued with two old people wailing unrighteously through some completely unhinged melody. Oh dear. Add two idiot youngsters, a tuneless teen with bad attitude and that's more or less the complete X Factor set covered for anyone new to the way the show goes.

A pair of red hot pants appears and you just know that we're back on relatively normal territory again and, sure enough, Simone looks and sings well enough to get everyone except LA on board.

Now, there was a category missing: I'd forgotten the long back story, girl in tears, opportunities missed one. Stacy Francis fitted that slot nicely and put on what could be the best of the first show. She impressed Simon to the extent that he seemed to forget Leona Lewis's audition a few years back and declared Stacy's the best he'd ever heard. Maybe the wailing and uncontrolled screeching near the end didn't sound so bad there as it did through my speakers. The dog next door didn't think much of it either. Still, she'll be through to a few more shows, I reckon.

Silly bloke in silver suit was just boring. Quite what they saw when he dropped the chav trousers (sorry, pants) I have no idea but it made Paula sick. Oddly, they still proceeded to vote with LA Reid alone suggesting that he gets thrown out, something I would have done before he even came on in the first place. As the guy was clearly incapable of singing and just there to make a name for himself I shall not bother to write more. If I'd been putting this programme together then we'd never have seen what Paula saw at all. No bad thing, 'Too late', as Ray Stevens would have said.

Darlene came and went. Marcus looks like a real star - possibly one of two from the whole evening who'll get to the finals - and delivered one excellent Stevie Wonder track and wowed the place big time. Cheryl has now disappeared and Nicole did the dancing with Paula as Marcus looked on suitably pleased with himself and probably more than a little surprised.

In the second half, The Anser (sic) brought a great group act on to the stage with the first Rolling In The Deep cover of what were probably many the judges had had to sit through and mercifully didn't get through to the broadcast. I admire Adele but there are limits. In between countless obligatory references to Nicole's birthday this was a trio that clearly had rehearsed and knew what they were doing. We'll certainly see more of them and, as the subtitles here in the UK showed us Brits, Paula whispered to Nicole that the girls will like that one (that one with the woolly hat and exceedingly white teeth).

Unbelievably long and totally irelevant (or, at least, I hope so) ads for a DIY store both preceded and followed The Anser to help pay for the Bugatti Veyron shot. I would, though, have preferred another load of adverts to the girl who gave us a record six 'No's (four from the judges and two she provided herself, albeit with a couple of question and several exclamation marks) and a couple more forgettable weird acts. Chris delivered the Don't Do Drugs bit then really impressed us with an original bit of work and I fell off the chair laughing at the LA Reid seat slide dance and the expression on his face. Nice job. Not sure what Chris'll do in the Let's sing-a-long-with-Abba round or how they'll get him to perform the bland intro and dance around tracks in white suits à la Idol but he sounded like a star and will be around for a while for sure.

That's it for the first show. A good start.

It's the year of the girls on X Factor (and manufactured bands)

2011-09-18T23:58:00.000+01:00

So we've now seen this year's X Factor winner. Whether it was after a long, drawn-out weepy back story intro or a brief glimpse of Louis leaning forward with his chin virtually on the desk and grinning "Yes" as whoever that was who was flashed before our eyes is yet to be seen.

Another weird show that I can only imagine was put together by some new guy recruited from BGT or deliberately promoted above his level of competence by Simon Cowell anxious to ensure that his X Factor USA compares well when it is aired here on Thursday. A couple of guys performed well and the far better Xtra Factor showed us a girl who apparently has only sung in a bingo hall before who would have fared well if she didn't find herself up against Misha, Janet and Amelia at bootcamp.

The boys seem an odd assortment this year but the ones we liked best may well finish up with some of the girls in manufactured boy and girl bands. And, hey, where the hell were the groups this year? Knowing who seems to have made it through, I fear we're in for a dire time in that department unless the manufacturers have done as good a job as they did with Wand Erection, which I guess is possible but unlikely to provide a winner.

Kitty in the over 25s should survive for a good while if she can regain some love from the public by calming down a bit on the announcements of how great she is. Otherwise she'll go the way of Katie W last year but hopefully give us some good TV moments until she's voted out.

So it's the year of the girls for my money and Dermot will be so pleased to be up on the main stage and well away from the anxious parents and what I suspect will be tears, tears and yet more tears during bootcamp and, worse, the final cut at judges' houses. Get yourselves ready for some heart-wrenching viewing at that stage. Bootcamp will be what bootcamp is - a farce as people try to form groups with people they hardly know and deliver tracks they may well have little interest in but have to do something with to get through. I feel so sorry for anyone with a really individual talent and style who'll have to choose between going with the flow and hoping they get selected regardless of what their new temporary 'group' does and attempting to stand out and getting panned for being inconsiderate or not 'working with the team'.

My guess, though, is that the judges already have a pretty good idea of who they want in the live shows - well, they have actually already decided but I mean in TV time as we see it - and it's largely a matter of who they'll put into those groups that needs to be decided. The next couple of weeks will not be a pretty sight but, of course, it will be unmissable TV and I'll be getting into trouble by writing exactly what I think again.

Check out XFNow.org and AINow.org by the way, over coming weeks as I've been invited to contribute to their news which should be fun and get me into even more trouble! Yes, Simon, I have been warned. and so has @kirrisdad.

X Factor UK - the slow goes on

2011-09-18T00:08:00.000+01:00

Let's start with some good news - xfactor-updates.com has got the @xfactorupdates Twitter account back so something is reasonably right with the world. That's about all, though, as tonight's X Factor show just dragged. A long-winded intro can't exactly have pleased Welsh viewers and we then had to sit through 40 minutes of assorted rubbish shown in full whilst potential live show contestant Melanie appeared and disappeared.

A couple of Johnnies - some Maths guy (who, interestingly, came with young Louis Tomlinson from 1Direction but we had to watch Xtra Factor for that bit of gossip) and a reject from last year who's had a make-over but really desperately needs another that does more than glue his hat - could sing but haven't a hope of getting far.

Dermot O'Leary was conspicuous by his absence, featuring almost solely in a ghastly-looking hug from a fat Essex woman with remarkably straw-like hair. I genuinely felt sorry for him until I saw his tweet from somewhere hundreds of miles away to say that something had fallen on his head. Yes, these are all recorded shows from the summer (remember the summer?) and he's currently concluding the rounds of the judges' houses.

The hug was even more annoying because it came after a couple of heavily spray-tanned Essex girls had been put through to bootcamp (and, I'm afraid, potentially far further). Called 2Shoes, I shall have to think of a suitably amusing and offensive alternative for future weeks as, whilst they could sort of perform reasonably, no self-respecting store or web site will want their pictures displayed within a mile of their front windows or home pages. There are some dodgy acts heading towards our live screens and I really do hope they're not around for long unless that tan gets washed off on Mykonos.

Talking of Mykonos, that's where Tulisa took the groups and then appears to have got really cross that some of the boys and girls, or maybe even boys and boys, decided to, er, practice together at night. Rumour has it than she's even just axed one or two groups for doing what comes naturally. And I thought N-Dubz were pretty much a cool group and Tulisa, of all the judges, would have been the least prissy.

The same rumour has Kelly Rowland banning drink, tobacco and goodness knows what else amongst the girls. How on earth potential stars can conceivably cope with the pressure of being in the last eight in the category, with a 50-50 chance of reaching the live finals and all the fun and cash that that brings as opposed to probably never being heard of again for at least a year without participating in at least one or two nerve-calming bad habits amazes me and all credit to any that survive.

With Gary Barlow stuck somewhere with what looks like a very tedious bunch who probably wouldn't say boo to a goose let alone goo to some booze it could well be that Louis might have the most fun group after all. OK, maybe not.

Anyway, none of this is really what tonight was all about. Basically X Factor was rubbish but Olly and the delightful Caroline, or their producers, turned things around with an excellent Xtra Factor on ITV2. Simon Cowell wandered on and into camera view, chewing on something and looking as if he wished he'd spat it out before being given a bundle of questions to answer on a sofa. He may have been a bit concerned as to how screening both X Factor UK and X Factor USA would fare and the extent to which, especially come AI11 in a week or two as well, we'll reach a point of total domination of reality music competitions on the airwaves. Boy, I shall certainly have my work cut out.

A couple of other groups were shown - Boy V Girl and Brooklyn. Boy V Girl were plain odd, like a couple of cartoon characters. The girl was really pretty, though, and could sing. Not sure about the bloke but they had more going for them than that mushy duo from a year or two back so may be worth watching. Brooklyn looked like cool guys and there aren't many around at the moment, The Keys being a bit serious-sounding. Having said that, we've seen so little of any groups to date whatever happens there is bound to be a surprise. Indeed, we'll probably know who are in the final before actually hearing them for more than 10 seconds at the rate things are moving.

Tomorrow sees the end of the auditions and, quite frankly, that'll be a relief this year. Still, I live in hope and will attempt to tease out some semblance of a live pack afterwards. Take a look at the photos on the show link above - they'll get updated regularly until we finally know who's through.

X factor updates and strange SYCO action [spoiler alert]

2011-09-16T14:23:00.002+01:00

Although we've only actually seen a few so far, according to XFactor Updates over 200 hopefuls reached bootcamp this summer (including 16 groups of which we've had little more than a mere glimpse of a couple). They've been whittled down and something around 8 hopefuls in each category headed off to judges' 'houses' for what is probably the most difficult part of the series to watch (and, I'm sure, far more stressful to be part of!)

Gary Barlow has the Boys category, Tulisa has the Groups, Kelly the Girls and Louis, yes, you guessed, the Over 25s. Surprisingly, as these selections should by now have all been recorded, there isn't that much reliable information out there as to who the finalists are - presumably four from each category. News has come through about the boys and a pretty good indication about the girls (being decided today, I think) but the groups and overs lists look a bit on the thin and confusing side at the moment.

It appears that the guy behind XfactorUpdates has had his @xfactorupdates twitter account shut down at SYCO's request. Now, as @tvcritics, his tweets can be pretty caustic at times but always no more than what I imagine a whole load of people will be saying to each other as they watch some programme and often cause me to laugh out really loud and inspire me as @kirrisdad to be as entertaining. He's usually a great source for what's going on but SYCO don't like him or what he says (and presumably accuse him of spoiling). I mean, how many people are seriously not going to to watch an upcoming show during these few strange weeks of deciding who'll make the live shows? Those who really can't bear to know simply aren't the types who'll be reading his stuff and the numbers who accidentally land on one of his pages or, for that matter, one of mine, are going to be pretty damn small and hardly likely to cause a drop in audience figures that'll have any impact at all on SYCO's advertising slot income.

Anyway, at the risk of getting closed down myself now, the new XFactor UK 2011 tab at the top of this site has some pictures of, how shall I put it, contestants you might like to look out for over the next few weeks ...

The winner ought to be in there somewhere, unless it's one of those mysterious groups or Louis is hiding someone remarkable!

X Factor UK returns

2011-08-27T22:13:00.000+01:00

Well, we're two weeks in and there really hasn't been much to rave about here. I can only imagine that the producers are saving up a whole bunch of talent for later shows. Last week Janet Devlin looked and sounded like a winner and no-one has come close in the pretty slow second week.

I'd expected so much from Liverpool too. We had the long, drawn out back story for Misha who then gave us a reasonably good rendition of Respect and a couple of weirdos in Johnny, Craig and another RickWakeman-Susan Boyle love child in some guy who did a Meatloaf track. The Keys were the first group to impress (although there were one or two that appeared to shoot through in last week's Xtra Factor). We had a glimpse of an Olly junior who seemed good as well as Derry and another guy called something like Amster to join the ranks with Kitty in boot camp but no-one has yet matched the one stand out audition so far.

American Idol do, at least, seem to fit in most of the people who stand some chance and, bearing in mind that these auditions took place ages ago, they've got a pretty good idea now so why can't X Factor show more quality material? In fact, I reckon there's been more on Xtra Factor so far! Anyway, here's the current favourite for now.

Haley Reinhart performing in Sacramento last night

2011-07-13T00:41:00.001+01:00

There may be trouble ahead . . .

2011-07-02T21:07:00.000+01:00

While we're waiting for the next series of something interesting to come along, here's something from way before my time but it kind of encapsulates how I feel at the moment. There may be trouble ahead, indeed.

American Idol 2011

2011-05-27T22:58:00.001+01:00

OK. Here we go. If I hear "in it to win it" or "that was amazing" once more I may just switch over to Have I Got News For You or carry on marking assignments. Two hours - hopefully there'll be something else to be said or this will be a very short post indeed.

The 12 come on. In white suits! More like the Bee Gees. James looks like he was told he had to dress like that. Naima must have forgotten to shave as was the only girl in trousers and silver ones at that. Jacob looked silly. Paul smiled and the whole screen went white except for some stubble. Colgate will have loved that and have probably booked him already for their next ads. Casey wasn't at all obvious - sensible move.

James then returns with Judas Priest and things improved. Scotty must have been thinking 'please don't ask me to follow that!' You had to admire James. 4th place but having a whale of a time, enjoying his new life. Lauren was probably worrying about Judas and Priest being in the same sentence.

Jacob got the job in the end. When he realises that he's missing a note he starts bouncing. He bounced a lot. Gladys Knight was cool. But you do have to wonder: Gladys Knight, Judas Priest . . .

Casey got a spot with Jack Black and they got on well while the camera kept clear of the Fat Bottomed Girls. In fact the cameras seem permanently on distant view. I guess they'll just zoom in on Scotty and Lauren in case they get upstaged.

Thia shone in a girlie spot as they did their best at doing Beyonce before Beyonce herself appeared to show them all up, swishing her hair and looking over her shoulder at the camera so well.

Haley got a great response for a remarkable spot with Tony Bennett that we'll all remember. He couldn't believe his luck and she showed how 3rd place was two places lower than it should have been.

Scotty must have lost the toss for the pimp spot, appearing next with some guy in a cowboy hat and jeans. Nice stuff. Yes, er, nice. To be fair, Scotty did as good a job as the experienced guy and deserves a decent contract out of this. I may find him a bit tedious but he does his stuff very well.

Still a whole hour to go and we've only got Lauren and someone before the results. I guess there'll be some more stars - the 100 million audience sells a lot of product. Past years have included extraordinary performances by the likes of Lady Gaga and Christine Aquilera. Hmm... we get someone called Mark Anthony. Who on earth? Oh Jennifer's husband. And she did look pretty good as she danced.

You almost pleaded for the real Tom Jones to come on and rescue the mess the boys had been making of his tunes. Tom Jones, Tony Bennett, Gladys Knight, Judas Priest... what year is this?

At last, someone modern. Lady Gaga On The Edge of an impressive set doing things with some fellow that Lauren would be well worried about. The camera kept either well back or firmly above the waist as she writhed at the top of massive blocks to a quite excellently commercial number. After she jumped off theatrically, Lauren appears and her first line is along the lines of '..he's gone off with some bleached haired tramp'!! Ha ha! Nervous lines followed and then the beautiful Carrie Underwood joins her and makes Lauren look rather old-fashioned and a bit undeserving of a top 2 place. Lady Gaga wins the star spots, hands and pants down. Haley wins the duet with a star spot.

Beyonce gets yet another album ad with an impressive One Plus One which should have been called Make Love To Me but probably got changed because of Scotty and Lauren and God being so close by. With so many lines starting with I don't know much about... I hope she shares some of the proceeds with Sam Cooke. Good track but not as good as Lady Gaga and both remind us all how far most of the contestants are removed from that sort of 'idolness'.

Bono and The Edge must have been in town and dropped in to do the new Spiderman film number. Superb guitar work that reminded me of the mid 1980s.

Steven Tyler at the piano now taking us back to the 1970s and wearing flares to match. Then he stands up and does what he does best and it's results time at last.

No confetti, after all. Scotty wins. Baby, lock dem doors...

American Idol: The Final Pt1

2011-05-26T20:51:00.000+01:00

Simon Cowell must be so glad he dropped out. There would have been such a fuss when he fell asleep during the ruddy final. Only slightly less fuss than would have followed the comments I suspect he'd have come out with. I don't know how well I'll be able to cope with several hours of Scotty and Lauren doing country tracks. I have a feeling I'm going to get bored and the start didn't persuade me otherwise. Lauren's voice had been damaged during rehearsals to the point where Haley was brought in to prepare her songs and those she did a few days ago would have been really entertaining and possibly given Scotty a good run for his money. However, that was not to be and he kicks off with Gone and she follows with something else I can't remember even a few minutes later.

Now, in a normal week, there'd have been someone promoting their latest CD to watch in between but before I know it we've got Scotty on stage again with some dismal number that definitely can't have got him any votes and I'm beginning to think that my preview of Lauren and the confetti may have been true after all.

She follows with a track Carrie Underwood picked and that girl sure has more sense. Unfortunately a really silly dress showed that the 16-year-old Lauren hadn't. She looked about 6.

Naturally, the judges say nothing of interest and I'm getting fed up. All I want to know is whether I'll win a few dollars and see the confetti. Ah, adverts! Good.

What is it with all these mini-tracks? I got up to get something out of the oven and Scotty had finished his third song. Something about This Big? Fair enough, I guess, but hardly 'an amazing job'. By that standard, several artists did 'an absolutely brilliantly amazing job' in the series and would be CEOs by now. Sorry. Professional, accurate notes, plenty of sales to the good ol' boys, decent lift music, yes. American Idol? No.

Adverts again. Yippee! Oh no, it's that Keith Lemon idiot on ITV2. Last song from Lauren. The way things are going, this could win it for her. Hmmm. Very smart move by someone! This Mother thing was anthemic and just the thing to get old people voting.

I really do see her in the confetti now.

American Idol: The Semi Final

2011-05-19T22:54:00.001+01:00

Beyonce looked old. 15 Minutes into the programme Scotty kicks off. Safe and sound, with backing singers squawking the lines awkwardly just before he sang them rather better. Maybe that was to help in case he forgot the words. No baby lock dem doors low notes but he managed all the high notes, just. This was a pretty professional performance but could have been any reasonable country singer really.

Lauren's dress sense left a bit to be desired, or not, as the case may be. For some reason, I think the confetti comment I made last week has lodged in my mind, (déjà vu?) I can see Lauren winning so expected a lot tonight. This was a great track to start with, cheery and bright although she did miss a lot of notes. Nerves got to her too. In a way, I wonder whether singing a song that you've sung since you were 9 was wise. It meant that lots of bad old habits probably crept in and, whilst OK, it was no American Idol 2011 winner's performance.

The judges were notably underwhelmed with both of them. Randy calling Lauren's effort 'nice' and, unbelievably, he called Scotty 'pitchy in places' which Scotty appeared amazed, indeed, to hear.

Far and far and far away the best first track was Haley doing Led Zeppelin. Really difficult to do and she did it tremendously well. Great start. That must have worried the other two. Looking fantastic too. Judges stood to applaud and that made up a lot for previous weeks.

Next came Jimmy Iovine's picks.

Scotty appears in check shirt and jeans, strumming a guitar. All very competent and good but, I don't know, this is just kinda comfortable cruising. Safe and sound again. Is he taking a bit of a chance or does he just know that there are so many voters in country land that it doesn't really matter?

Lauren improved a bit, both in dress sense, well marginally there, and a great deal in performance. Nice delivery and the track worked. She was thinking a bit too much about what she was going to do next for the whole thing to be as convincing as she ought to have been. The skirt was off-putting.

I'd forgotten that Haley had been on AI last year and I guess that accounts, as well as her extra couple of years, for her maturity and confidence. Rhiannon is one difficult track and replacing Stevie Nicks was always going to be less than easy. A nice performance but not quite as gentle as I would have liked and a little desperate at the end. This is the first time she's been less than a real star for weeks for me.

Beyonce appears yet again on some weird and annoying video about girls running the world or something involving her changing her clothes every line and fiddling around with a pile of black guys for no discernible reason other than to follow some silly script the film producers has devised. Rubbish. Let's move on, please. She's yesterday and does nothing for me whatsoever. That won't make me popular but I'd have run the French Eurovision guy's video. It would have cost a fraction of hers and been far more impressive.

Scotty wearing an apron won't have got him many extra votes but the suit on stage looked better.Nice job of the Kenny Rogers' track. Well done judges for choosing something that pushed him a little and he did a great job. That may have secured his place in the final. It's almost impossible to think of him not being in it but Lauren and Haley have it within their power and appeal to do just that if they get the right tracks.

Lauren got to do the beautiful I Hope You Dance. I don't know that she was old enough to sing the lyrics and mean them although she certainly looked thirty plus with the way someone's made her up (or not). It was a nice pick and ideally in her range - I just reckon it's a song a mother sings to her daughter, not a 16 year old to an audience and certainly the harsher bits she added seemed very out of place. Jennifer dropped a bit of a bombshell by announcing that Lauren had won the round without even hearing Haley which was not on. She does seem to have something against Haley and that was a killer comment.

Haley gets an Alainis Morrisette number and performs that really tough number excellently. I wondered whether the judges had hoped she would crash with that and I'm not sure it was really her choice but, boy, she put her heart and soul into it and, to my mind, wiped the floor, future star-wise, with Lauren and left Scotty looking like a good ol' boy who can do nice country stuff for the rednecks.

Who knows what the votes will add up to? Reminds me of Adam Lambert's brilliant quality and exciting performances, so out-performing the others, and yet he didn't win. Nor did Crystal last year. It may not even matter, as we've seen from who actually has been the big stars from previous years. All three deserve success this year. I find Haley the most impressive and modern for 2011 and beyond.

American Idol 2011 Final 3

2011-05-14T17:20:00.000+01:00

72 million votes screwed the judges and put Haley and Lauren in the final with Scotty, who was there anyway. James had to stop believing but can now get on with annoying audiences with strange high notes and metal thrashing stuff somewhere else. I had to admire his leaving performance, though, and he sure has that star quality - you could see the judges watching and checking their calendars to see whether they were, in fact, not watching the bit at the end of the Final after all.

Only the confetti was missing. But that's being kept for Lauren. That's who they want to win. Haley had to endure yet another load of put downs but I still say she's the one to beat in terms of confidence and a future star. Scotty can just walk away and he'll have contracts galore and can look forward to country gigs for many years to come although I doubt whether he'll have much success on these shores. My guess is that he may even get third place and we'll get a really interesting evening watching two talented girls hopefully at their best.

Enrique Iglesias sang Baby I Like It and showed "Baby Lock Them Doors" Scotty what a real performance should look and sound like and reminded us all how even the best contestants have work to do. Jordin Sparks also appeared looking much thinner than she used to be with her new single and doing what Leona Lewis should be doing in the States.

By way of distraction we watched Lady Gaga perform "You and I" in a bikini and yellow hair. Most people will remember her standing on the stool. The contestants were watching this on a video and it was fascinating to see Lauren really not being sure whether she should be watching or not and Scotty needed to do a bit of extra cross-kissing too. This was the track Haley sang in a previous show and I wonder whether she's not seriously thinking about cashing in the publicity with a re-run in the final. Risky, though, and a full version of House of The Rising Sun would be my choice but it will be a battle between The Good, The Bad but not The Ugly next week.

Eurovision 2011: The Garlic Factor or Louis' boys?

2011-05-14T16:39:00.000+01:00

It looks like everything depends now on who does or doesn't hit the right notes tonight. JEdward have really got a massive following now in parts of Europe that XFactor didn't reach and their novelty could well make them the one act that can beat the French to win. I really do hope not and doubt whether we can find any more money to lend Ireland to stage the 2012 show.

If they make a balls-up of their dancing and their autotune fails to correct their inability to sing then they may still win 'cos that'll make people laugh but, if voters are in serious mood then France have it in the bag unless the nice young tenor struggles too, which isn't likely but you do have to be willing to be grabbed by his operatic soaring notes and those that don't because Grandad's snoring or the cat's wailing may look elsewhere to cast their precious douze points.

Where else might they go? Normally, I'd say Azerbaijan, - well I'd try to say Azerbaijan and probably get it wrong - but just look at that guy and the way he looks at the girl. Can anyone really vote for that? I suppose if they don't look, or just watch her, then this nice number is pretty much going to appeal in a moderate way to everyone. If getting some decent points from everyone will find a winner then go for little Azerbaijan who do have oil and would be happy to get the business and tourists who'll have no idea where the plane will land.

Last year's delightful winner, Germany's Lena is not only easier to pronounce but also has a cool track and you can be sure she'll do it well. It's just not a Eurovision song so it would need a lot of normal people voting and I can't see enough normal people doing that.

UK and Blue should do well and may pick up good vote numbers from almost everyone so we won't be lounging around at the bottom this year, at least, and stand a chance of winning if, as I said, JEdward are just irritating and the Frenchman burps half-way through.

The only other acts with a chance in my book are Hungary and Finland. I would have added Sweden and Austria but neither lived up to expectations in the rehearsals - good songs and normally the sort of people you'd put money on to be up there but they came across much weaker than their original promotional videos. It's all about wind machines and it doesn't look like they've got any this year.

Hungary is the one to watch and, at 40-1, there's a nice profit to be made. It's got the traditional look and feel of a Eurovision and I can see it now on the compilation CD of winners Vol 45. She is just a little unnerving to watch, though, and anything less than a perfect performance will leave her scraping the bottom of the top ten rather than anything special.

Finland could do what Norway did a couple of years ago but the young chap who's performing the simple number is just a bit too smug-looking for my taste. He is different, though, and people do like the Green Thing and young guys on their own with a guitar and a gentle, unusual song do well. The bookies have him around 27-1 which isn't far off Blue's odds which is intriguing and makes his progress as they start adding up the votes worth watching.

Estonia and Denmark are fancied too at about the same level as UK, Germany, Sweden and Finland which, apart from saying that it's really just between JEdward and the French guy, shows that no-one really has much of a clue this year. I don't get either of them but someone might.

The only real surprise I can think of would be Georgia. If the JEward rubbish and Bosnia & Herzegovina trousers don't appeal and voters like the energetic and attractive rock chick then it really could be a fun evening as everyone wonders why they didn't see them coming. But they probably don't need to worry. Something's bound to go wrong and ruddy JEward will win. And I'll make a massive 10p.

American Idol: Good Lord and Lady Gaga may help Haley through

2011-05-12T20:38:00.000+01:00

This week showed just how different two of these four American kids are to what we might have expected of young pop star wannabees. We had Scotty kissing his crucifix in some apparent attempt to get God to keep Lady Gaga's suggestions for microphone technique from affecting his pure and wholesome mind. Then we had Lauren unable to sing "I'm evil" which made you wonder why on earth she agreed to do the ruddy number in the first place. You also got the impression that at least two of the judges, or the producers, had heavy bets on James, Scotty and Lauren and that they didn't really think Haley should be there at all. God moves, though, in mysterious ways and the Gaga influence may just change everything.

Discovered that Randy was in Foreigner tonight! So James starting with the current commercial anthem Don't Stop Believing was a damn good way to get himself booked in to the final. Something odd happened in the middle when he seemed to be going too slow. This guy is always spot on tone-wise and the screams were thankfully absent too. Not bad, not bad at all. If all else fails he can apply to join Glee, I guess.

Haley followed and I had to wonder how on earth she'd do Michael Jackson's Earth Song. It was a great, passionate effort but she started to growl way too early. So tough, this song and so cut back. She brought it round with a fine ending but, for all the effort, gets the traditional pasting from Randy and JLo who seem convinced that she shouldn't be in the final. It is actually getting quite painful to watch and you just wish a Simon Cowell would appear to shut them up. Steven Tyler attempted a rescue but the damage was done bythen.

Scotty excelled with a truly professional, releasable version of Where Were You When The World Stopped Turning? Note perfect. Classy. Totally professional. Period.

Lauren restored herself brilliantly and put Haley in the shadows with the powerful, anthemic Do It Anyway. Very, very good and this is her area. WIll she become a big star in this area though? Not sure but she is very much being promoted by the judges who seem to be willing to do anything to get her there, inclusing JLo's reference to fluttering confetti coming down next week.

Lady Gaga mentored them for the second numbers and helped Haley create a stunning version of I Who Have Nothing. Magnificent. She held that last note which was so important. I would have preferred the vulnerable version but guess the vamped up one was necessary to give her chance and she needs every chance she can get. It was one of the best AI moments for me. But she's up against three people who are doing well too.

Scotty was totally lost in the world of Gaga and his performance was forgettable crap.

Lauren was also scared of the woman and didn't get anyone convinced that she was Trouble.

James also failed to impress with a predictable rendition of love Potion Number Nine. I expected a lot more from him but clearly he and Lady Gaga were incompatible.

Amazingly, after that, Haley must stand a good chance of getting through after all. Lauren, despite the terrible second song, deserves a place as that first number was excellent, as was Scotty's, who simply has to be there or the whole of Texas will revolt. That leaves James. Hmmm.

Eurovision 2011

2011-05-08T01:49:00.000+01:00

OK, I've finally managed to see all the countries' entries and, just before several get thrown out at the Semi Final stages, here's what you may or may not enjoy on the night. I guess I should start with a health warning. Some of these tracks and, indeed, my comments, could seriously damage European relations and your brain, possibly even in that order. Most of the entries, as is now traditional, are unbelievably bad but if it Ireland and Bosnia & Herzegovina make it through you will, at least, have a couple of ridiculously bad as opposed to just awful. It's an odd year with precious few precious or scary girls, old men or ugly people with gimmicks like girls appearing out of a piano but there may be a glass cube and some very strange trousers.

The betting seems to indicate that it's all over before it starts. Russia managed to organise that in 2008. This year over a third of the money placed at the time of writing is on France who don't know how to organise anything so that might mean it's a good song. It is but there are a few others. Just a few that might compete. Here are the potential top places. Videos for the most interesting available at the Eurovision 2011 page (another tab on this site). The figure is the decimal odds at Betfair at the time of writing.

France 3.25
Possibly the strongest and best singer starts really oddly but if the voters stay with it and don't go off for a pee thinking it's just a ballad then they'll realise that it is one of those anthem types that build and build and this has all the arms outstretched visual and big finish they'll love. It'll appeal to the Eastern bloc and places where they still like real music and the oldies will vote for it too. For the three minutes of fame required it is pretty much the right formula although I have a nagging doubt about that first section.

Estonia 9.2
Second favourite but i don't know why. It's a competent number about 1273 Rockerfeller Street that's more a dance presentation with its tick tock stuff and a lot of effort in being in the right place. any song with surreal in the lyrics is worth a chance, I suppose, but it's not a winner.

United Kindom 10.5
Old Blue blew the dust off their outfits and do the honours for us. Doesn't do much for me, though. Yes, it's got the hook and they're able to sing but I worry just how the guy that does the high stuff every so often is going to deliver that without looking really silly. It just doesn't strike me as a winning song but at least we'll be up there in the top ten this year.

Hungary 16.5
This is a possible winner and certainly a top 4. Well written and some nice politics involved if Hungary win on German soil after all these years. It's one of those slightly scary women, though, with an odd shaped mouth which won't help. She'll steal some of the French votes, though, and stop them getting all the 12s from the ballad lovers.

Germany 17
The pretty Lena is back. I don't think the same person has ever won twice in a row so you could say that she either has no chance because that can't happen or she will because maybe it's time it did. Listen to this one a few times and you start to get it and whoever wrote it has done a good job. Modern, this is one of the new generation tracks that a 2011 Europe could vote for. One of a very few, if not the only one. I like it a lot but wil the voters get the two or three listens it needs?

Sweden 19
Now this chap won't get many boys voting for him as he has the type of look that they'll be jealous of and all the girls will wonder why their guys don't look and move like he does. He can sing, admittedly in a strange accent but Lena's was far worse and she managed. This is one really commercial track, the Swedes showing how good they are at this sort of thing without being silly and this will do really well. A potential winner. If he has the glass cube on stage then even more so.

Azerbaijan 19
For some reason everybody always votes for Azerbaijan, maybe just to see whether the presenters can pronounce it. So far this little country has done well each year but you have to wonder whether they've not tried a bit too hard this year. There's a very worrying-looking bloke that you really don't want to look at but as the nice girl gets entangled with him quite a bit you can't avoid him. It has a touch of the Denmark 2010 entry about it but less well presented, no big key change or wind. She could win for the little country but he could just as easily lose it for them. Maybe they'll swap him before the big day.

Bosnia & Herzegovina 19
Why on earth this ridiculous collage of very strange trousers, daddy dancing, old people with jackets that are much too short and guitars that just swing around meaninglessly as they jig around some quite large ladies is so well-backed I really have no idea. You'll get a good laugh, I suppose but it is not going to win unless the voters are all forgiving Greeks who liked the late 80s.

Denmark 29
Boring

Ireland 29
Annoying. Jedward. That'll explain why I don't propose to go any further.

Russia 34
Wo-o-o. Coming to get you. Now that's a scary intro from Russia. It may even lose them some votes they can't buy off before the day. Any song with I lot my mind somewhere between your face and your perfect shape gets my attention and leaves me wondering where he eventually might have found it. This is another pretty good-looking guy who'll certainly pull in 12s from the Soviet bloc but probably not from Georgia. So it'll do well but it all goes a bit wrong about two-thirds of the way through which is just as well for those who really don't fancy a trip to Moscow in 2012.

Norway 44
We're already now out in the wilderness in terms of betting odds, so anything that wins that's not been mentioned above will make someone a huge amount of profit. This is nothing like you'd expect from Norway, the country that gave us Fairytale from a very nice lad in 2009 and stole virtually all the votes. This year there are some girls with very big teeth and hair. If the camera keeps its distance and if the lead singer hasn't got a stupid dress and actually sings in tune for the first verse then we'll get to know more about what her Grandma said and be singing Haba Haba and generally quite liking it. It's a jolly sort of number. Not a winner but up there in the top 10 at the end, I reckon.

Austria 65
I almost turned off after the first few bars but this is the second prettiest girl in the contest so I didn't. She really can sing. Impressive, and one of the few who'll put on a good show on the night. She's not going to win, though, and Austria aren't that popular any year. Except 1966 when they won.

Finland 85
Hardly anyone is backing this but I have a feeling it will do well. It's a young guy who just seems to sing as he goes, almost making it up at the time, and it's all very politically correct saving the environment Green stuff. people may like that sort of thing this year. Strange to think he's singing for the same country that gave us the Dinosaur-like Lordy a while ago and won. Great words, actually, despite the correctness. Not like me to say that but I quite admire Finland for trying this and wish them well.

Slovenia 95
Another pretty dark-haired girl. Where are all the blondes this year? The video has a wind machine seemingly positioned purely to blow her dress off which is nice in a way and that's one of the reasons I hope she makes it through to the final. She can also sing and the song isn't bad either. If she performs it well on the night then it's one of those extreme outside chances that we just love to see beat the favourites.

From here on the odds get to the sort of level where you can make enough to buy a small house with a £100 bet but I've found a few more that might surprise people on the night, assuming they actually do get there.

Belgium 740
This is one cool number, performed almost a capella by a very odd looking and not at all attractive bunch of people, who might be more successful in a 1940s bar rather than a 19-40s bar but ... but they are really professional, spot on tone and timing-wise and it's got something. It's different. maybe everyone will hate it but if you want to become a millionaire, put £1400 on this and hope.

Greece 250
A clever mix of ballad and rap but a bit out-of-date nowadays. Panned by YouTube viewers but I wouldn't write it off yet. It ends in fine style and the main guy is a good performer who may produce something extra on the night to lift his chances a bit. Not enough to do that well, though.

Belarus 260
Now, how on earth could a song titled I Love Belarus possibly win? Just imagine some countries voting for that. No way. However, maybe they won't understand the English and it is a really strong, commercial and well-performed and produced track. They've also got the best-looking girl.

Georgia 340
I'd like a tiny country to win. This is possibly the most exciting entry of the lot and I wish them luck. they show Greece how to rap and all the other rock chix how to rock. It's surprisingly good in places but I guess it still has no chance.

Armenia 280
The other little place I like to see do well. This is one of the few old-style Euro Boom Boom Chukka Chukka tracks that we need to ensure don't die. Total crap but delivered in fine style and I'll look forward to it starting. And ending. We need Terry Wogan back, though, for the best effect.

That's about it. The others? Well, for what they're worth, which isn't much, here endeth the review:

Albania 730
Feel the passion? No. too frightened by her.

Bulgaria 720
Rock chix that aren't really rocking. More like a rocking chair.

Slovakia 220
Blondish twins. Vaguely Corrs-like without the Corr. Slow start. Will it build? No. Weird video.

Switzerland 600
Tuneless

Netherlands 600
Boring

Spain 730
Frightening

Serbia 400
1970 gone wrong

Romania 260
Commercial but 90s. Had enough after the first half. Hope I didn't miss anything.

Malta 830
Oh dear. Wrong guy. Wrong song.

Lithuania 540
Trying to be an anthem but she can't reach the high notes. All much too serious and odd-looking.

Latvia 270
Angels in disguise? No. Ear pain.

Israel 260
Ding bloody dong??!! Please. Someone dug up Dana. The nostrils are unnerving.

Italy 80
Eh? Why did they decide to join if this is all they can do. Where's the bunga bunga? Don't they realise this is Eurovision?

Cyprus 1000
Goes neither here nor there. Nor will they.

Croatia 1000
I don't feel like calibrating, especially after that. Or celebrating. Yuck.

If I've missed any country out, sorry. They must be even worse.

American Idol Top 4 revealed. Thanks, Jimmy.

2011-05-07T21:45:00.000+01:00

Someone needs to give the judges a bit of feedback. In fact they might as well just come on and entertain us for a while and then go away and let someone else do the actual comments. There is someone much better. One guy behind the scenes has been spot on throughout this show and that's the one who helps them choose the tracks and who we see briefly with some star mentor each week. I think he's called Jimmy Iovine . We saw him slate Jacob and he was the only one who said that Lauren could well get voted off after wrecking the Righteous Brothers track that's almost a world anthem now. [Well, I did too and so did Brittany Keener who tweets throughout the show almost exactly what I want to say but we don't count.]

Jacob and Lauren were deservedly the bottom two and the right one went - at last. Lauren seemed to have got quite a shock at the near miss and Haley finally obviously beating her in the female popularity stakes must have made her question quite why Steven Tyler has been raving about her week after week. Maybe not the singing. She's been second to Scotty almost since the start. In fact, for a while she was the favourite. I have a feeling she'll come out fighting next week now and the last few shows are going to be really tough to call.

So good to see Haley getting genuine respect. I'd like to see her win. It's abundantly obvious that Scotty will have a contract for a Country career - it's probably already typed and waiting his signature, or his dad's as he may not be old enough. James has brought some diversity to the show but needs control to do more than lead a rock outfit in future years as a career. Accepting that control kind of goes against all he's done so far to promote his interest in the less commercial stuff. Lauren, if she reacts well to the wake-up call, in the final two with Haley would be an entertaining final. And a nice change.

Judges 0 Haley 2 [American Idol Top 5]

2011-05-06T22:58:00.000+01:00

It must be getting bad if I actually plead with the screen for Randy to say someone is pitchy. I'm learning to ignore the judges in this series. We really miss Simon Cowell, especially at this stage where just saying someone is in it to win it over and again is getting on my nerves. Don't they realise that already? Yes, one of these is going to win but that doesn't mean they can't give some decent feedback and criticise from time to time. Steven has been damn cool and Jennifer considerate in the past but now they're not saying much at all as if they're worried about being sued or something. The first two thirds of the show had them almost selling Scotty and James to us, excusing James and Jacob's missed notes, crap screeching and wailing and raving about how good they were. Lauren gets nods of approval and never a bad word. Haley started off being effectively written off for some reason I guess we'll find out eventually. She must have been either mad or depressed at this obvious misdirection of voters. She certainly came back at the very end fighting and I just hope and pray voters listen to that and not the losers tonight who were the judges.

Jacob should go with two lousy performances, and Lauren deserves punishing for one. James should survive, although I'm not sure why, and Scotty, of course, will. Take that as read. Haley? Definitely not but who knows after the way she was treated for the first 80 minutes?

James
Closer To The Edge
Not a track I recognised the name of or the group 30 Seconds to Mars. Calling out "Let me hear you scream!" at line two, 15 seconds in, was rather worrying as he then proceeded to assume that no-one in the audience would and so had to do so himself. Wailing almost, this did nothing for me and I'm not sure it did a great deal for him. He has settled well after maybe trying too hard at the beginning and his ability, most of the time, to hit notes spot on and put a whole load of natural energy into performances that are not commercial puff is credit-worthy. After two minutes, though, I've had enough and I do feel that only some determined head bangers will buy the albums if he sticks with the screaming.

Jacob
Something else I didn't know
Instead of James' screeching we get Jacob's wailing. Shame. This was a good track that could have suited him but he was all over the place and certainly hasn't got "one of the best voices that have ever been on this stage"as Jennifer pronounced. Randy bravely differed, thank heavens. I really do think he has gone far enough in this show already. James could pull something different out of the bag next week and is worth keeping in the hope he does. Jacob hasn't and isn't.

Lauren
I give up on naming tracks, sorry.
Great up tempo good 'ol country rock chick stuff that America will love. Suited her well and if she'd been in a final up against Scotty with that she'd even stand a chance of beating him by stealing some of his votes. She's going to be selling records, I'm sure and should be pleased with that. A big difference between her and the first two.

Scotty
Gone
Nice to see him confidently having fun with this rampage of a country track. He looked as if he was in his own show and was entertaining and even punching the air. Good stuff and that'll compete well with the Lauren country vote threat.

Haley
You and I
Great unknown Lady Gaga track that she delivered brilliantly. Brave, cool decision but why on earth does Jennifer have to spend all the feedback time telling us all, never mind the poor girl, about the choice instead of prasising her courage and actually saying that she hit all the notes and had a stage presence and audience rapport that knocked anything Jacob could do into a cocked hat or stripey blazer. Randy then whinges meaninglessly and misses the point, seemingly advising after the event what she should have done instead of doing what he did with the others and looking at what she did do. Steven did the usual. You do get the impression that they simply aren't prepared, despite seeing all the rehearsals, presumably, to back her against Scotty and James who them are forever pushing up the ladder as potential finalists when it should be her, Scotty and one other, probably Lauren.

James
Without You
This is one good song choice for this guy. A tough one, mind, and he resorted yet again to the scream and, remarkably, missed the important note that might have made all the difference. It seemed to go down well but you have to ask just who he appeals to as that would have been a hate song for the others backing his first song. Randy's 'emotionally perfect' comment is weird, especially from him. And saying the contest is 'his to lose' is worrying. The amount of advertising he's getting from those judges makes me wonder if Coca Cola aren't sponsoring him and James'll be wearing that shade of red next week. It was good at the start but I felt he showed immaturity and pretentious emotion in the second half. Not that good at all as a performance.

Jacob
Love Hurts
One fine track from the Everley Brothers and this is possibly where I see him being at his best. Unfortunately, the wailing still comes through and destroys it as he just can't hold himself back and at times I couldn't tell the difference between him and the trumpet backing him. Annoying wreck of a marvellous song. Cheryl Crow had demonstrated how it should have been done and got more passion in one line that this bloke did in two and a half minutes. The ruddy judges forgive him, like James, for crap. Why on earth don't they do that for Haley?

Lauren
Unchained Melody
Oh dear. That was dreadful. But will anyone say so? Really not good, no hope of reaching any of the important notes and breathless rubbish where she couldn't. Pity. She looked fantastic. Just sounded awful. How the hell could the judges not say that was 'nicely done'??!! Ridiculous! 'Nothing to judge??' What is happening on this show tonight? I would say that that performance could have upset so any viewers that she should be out. The thing is, though, people don't vote that way. She'll be lucky to survive, though, and probably knows it.

Scotty
Always On my Mind
Excellent. Now that's a performance that I thought would deserve some praise. Not fantastic, though, and shows that he is not infallible as it lacked all that this very special song should have by way of meaning. I guess he's a bit young to understand that, though. It's an older man's song. Judges comments: well-rounded, so beautiful, true performer, blah blah blah. Yes, the guy's going to do well but that wasn't one of his best performances. Someone really should tell him. Oh, I just have.

Haley
The House of The Rising Sun
Amazing. Brilliant. Well done. Cut ridiculously short and I would have loved to hear the whole thing but she absolutely blew everyone else away tonight. I have already forgotten most of the others now. That was an Adam Lambert moment.

American Idol Top 6 become 5

2011-04-29T22:05:00.000+01:00

Ryan kicked off by warning us that many fans would be disappointed. Well, I suppose that would be true whoever goes. With 30 million votes spread across 6 people then it's pretty likely that several million people will have voted for that one. What I think he meant but couldn't say was "Jacob's not going home this week, either." OK, that'll avoid me swearing quite so loudly later on and does sort of prepare me for Haley going but, at the same time, makes watching the next hour more depressing.

The 'let's all sing a song' intro was its now traditional desperate mess and I think they had just about emptied the cupboards of Carole King tracks that vaguely suited them. Haley certainly could have done with some extra practice, especially as she started and could have done without some dodgy first notes, no matter how super she looks.

It was quite a relief to hear Crystal Bowersox, last year's runner-up, after that. The camera focused initially on a strange looking fat bloke and an even stranger-looking chap with a scary beard and I wondered whether I'd hit another channel button and tuned into some 70s scary movie. She was good, though, and clearly benefiting from all the dollars being spent on her style these days.

ITV2's XtraFactor seemed another possible bit of mis-tuning for a moment when a bundle of questions for the contestants appeared and they had to come up with answers. At least we didn't get the person asking them on some scratchy mobile or, worse, some cheap web cam. I really did get the feeling that there was going to be a lot of filling in this show and wondered how on earth it would ever last an hour?

The results:

"Brilliant!" Haley's safe. Thanks Ryan for making the next viewing much more pleasurable.

Next came Scotty. We knew he'd be around next week. Well, we thought he would be but he has to hang on. Ooh er.

Lauren has to 'hang tight' too.

Casey - now he ought to be 'hanging tight' by that token too. He was.

Another reference to a 'surprise' so, as no way it's James and we've guessed it's not Jacob who wouldn't be a surprise to anyone, that was the bottom three. Could well be that voters didn't get Casey as I'd hinted yesterday...

... sure enough. Casey's reached the end of the road. But what a fabulous way to end it! He totally took over the floor with I Put A Spell On You, had the judges and most of the first few rows in the audience at least, on their feet. He ran through the crowd and maintained the tune, the notes, the whole thing. Over-running, the credits rolled and he was back on stage, still singing and looking very romantically indeed at Haley. Nice touch that couldn't have ever been rehearsed. You know, I'm almost glad he went because that was quite a special, and one of the most memorable ever, moments of AI.

American Idol Top 6

2011-04-28T19:39:00.131+01:00

Interesting to hear Ryan Seacrest getting more applause than the judges at the start. Carole King was a good writer and anyone who wrote Pleasant Valley Sunday for The Monkees can't be bad either but this is still an odd choice. But there you go. Jacob Jacob Jacob for the bottom three.

Jacob ♪5½ ☼6
Oh No, Not My Baby
Just stop at the "Oh no," bit, please, and go home. And take that ridiculous jacket with you. Whoever told him to move around and attempt to dance? I mean, the guy must weigh a ton and his voice is wobbling around enough already. "Hopefully America will give you some votes and you'll stick around," says Randy Jackson, not terribly convincingly. To be fair it wasn't a disaster but if this guy stays then someone who could win goes and that's silly. I just can't see who on earth any record company would market him to in 2011, 2012 and I'm sure that by 2013 he'll be just a contestant name on a list we dig out from time to time.

Lauren ♪7 ☼8
Where You Lead I Will Follow
What she was doing bringing some boy onto the stage I suppose might be revealed at the end. Weak track, uninspiring performance. When she went to hit the high notes she may have done so well but a bunch of professional backing singers gave her insurance and we didn't notice whether she did or not. She's worked hard with the hair straighteners too again which certainly suits her. The UK audience really won't get all the fuss over the boy being 19 and her being 16.

Haley & Casey then break the monotony with a fun, cheerful and talented rendition of I Feel The Earth Move. They have a great style together and it works well. Whatever they do in their solo spot that should pull in some well-needed votes for each of them. I presume they'll all get to duets somewhere along the line tonight in amongst the solos. Although I still find the bear-like Casey an odd sight rolling around the stage and slapping the outstretched fingers of fans in the front row when he'd probably be better fronting a band with an instrument in his hand, Haley just looks totally at home there and is really turning into a contender. Subject to what Lauren's duet is like and Haley's own performance going well, she may turn into the second favourite.

Scotty ♪9 ☼10
You've Got A Friend
Nice work. Beam him up! Really professional performance. You could tell he was trying to make this his own and this track could sell a lot. There's a weakness we haven't seen before when he hasn't got the strength in his higher notes that would make him really really good. He made you listen and understand the words Carole wrote in a way that James Taylor never did and all credit is due to this guy for that. He's becoming unbeatable in theory but, of course, this being Idol, he may well come second! Certainly one of the two in my book.

James ♪9 ☼10
Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow
Unplugged at the start was excellent. Then he really showed how good he can be with a fabulous fairly straight guitar and singing production that was simply superb. I didn't like the inevitable screech here and there, particularly the end, but that was one cool performance and with an otherwise unremarkable song he's blown my top two apart in just under three minutes!

Another duet follows - the delightful pairing of Lauren and Scotty again (well done the producers!) Sharing Up On The Roof, well, I say 'sharing' but with Scotty trying to sing to her she was permanently looking the other way and that kinda spoilt it all. It was a pretty light affair anyway. They do perform well together but The Drifters needn't worry about losing a grip on the best version by a mile, no, make that a hundred. It won't have harmed their votes, though. James has already done enough damage anyway.

Casey ♪9½ ☼8
Hi Di Hi
The Blood Sweat And Tears number and this guy was in his element. Totally natural and entertaining, cool and he just picks tracks that he really seems to enjoy performing. Again, I have no idea how he'll fit into the Idol scene but he'll have a ready market for his stuff and I can even see him creating a new wave of intresrest amongst youngsters who haven't yet caught onto jazz with a difference and scat. Nicely done. He may not get the votes, though, as it wasn't something telephone number pressers will have adored but he certainly deserves to stick around after that.

Haley ♪8½ ☼7½
Beautiful
This wouldn't have been my choice and she seemed to rush the slow bits with uncharacteristic nervousness. She pulled it back with lots of energy and fun in the groovier sections. I so wanted this performance to make her super safe but It didn't quite manage that. Pity. Never mind. Keep the faith. Fingers crossed too. and I won't walk under ladders until after the results show either.

James and Jacob then come on with a Herman's Hermits' number! "WTF?" as the girl who blogged at the live show yesterday so aptly said at the time! Actually it was pretty reasonable- Jacob stayed under control and James lead the way. It won't affect the votes though.

American Idol Top 7 become 6

2011-04-22T22:29:00.000+01:00

I can only guess that this week no-one had time to rehearse the completely pointless and half-hearted attempts at entertainment in the shape of the let's combine the contestants and get them to sing something spot. David Cook and his band did a decent job of promoting his latest single, although that's something we in the UK will probably only find on some American Heartbeat Volume 17 CD at some time in the future. Katy Perry had a go at following in Lady Gaga's style with a ridiculous device that got pushed around by men wearing grey body stockings. The title of her release, E.T. had me wondering for a moment whether she was singing about the misshapen upright tortoise from the great film but apparently some rap guy was the alien that would be telling her what to do. Hope time goes more slowly on his planet, though, as her outfit would have taken some getting out of and the LEDs flashing at the end might have given him a shock too. Still, not a bad track which we will get to see at the top of our charts later this year.

Throughout most of this Jacob had been sitting on his own on the bottom three chairs. We knew he wasn't going home, though, to counter the lack of Jacobs getting through to the last six to date and there'd have been all hell to pay over the technical thing that must have put him off too. Yes, he should go but no, he won't. Next week, hopefully, although I do keep saying that.

You kinda sensed that it was Stefano's time that was up. Haley was there very briefly but Ryan did the decent thing and, in a nice touch, whispered that she was safe before the camera even had a chance to focus on her. That was a relief as I really want to see more of her. And, yes, it was, indeed, time for Stefano, last of the wild cards, to leave.

In an excellent farewell performance he really stole the whole show. Lately is his type of song and he does that well. You could feel that he'd relaxed - the stress was gone and you wished that he'd done that before and the applause and genuine sorrow that the camera picked out on James' and Jennifer's faces were noticeable.

This has been Lauren's week but Scotty's still favourite. Betfair seem to have decided that it's now between Scotty, James and Lauren, with Casey, Jacob and Haley leaving in reverse order over the next three weeks. I hope Haley can hang on. We'll see soon enough.

American Idol Top 7

2011-04-21T22:58:00.001+01:00

Bizarre kick-off with the people who've been voted off returning to do some rock chick number with Paul showing off his jacket again. Odd bunch and although Pia did her best to steal the limelight she may now have wished she hadn't made her tinny and rather off key voice so obvious at times. I was trying to figure out who I'd like to see around still in place of Jacob and would probably have chosen Thia or Ashton with a better hairstyle.

This week is easier to predict: Stefano or Jacob should go. James, despite the performance, may not have the support although he's never been in the bottom two yet which is interesting.

Scotty ♪9 ☼7
Swinging
Great reception from the crowd. Gentle, pretty simple song that didn't challenge him at all or tell us anything more about him. Professionally presented but not something we'll look back and say 'Hey remember when Scotty sang..." He'll be safe, unless everyone else brings something remarkable out of the box, which is pretty unlikely. That didn't seem like a 21st Century track either - could have been anything from the 40s on, I guess! I think he's cruising but that won't get a bundle of extra votes that he may need in future shows to win.

James ♪8 ☼9
Muse
Super performance of the Muse track which got great reviews from the judges. Remarkable ability and he's looking like a strong contender now. Good move to pick something that would bring out the fact that he can sing as well as scream although I could have done without the latter. No-one can accuse him of cruising and that was one we will remember. Shades of Adam Lambert, although still shades as he lacks that ability to be totally original still.

Haley ♪7½ ☼8
Rolling in the Deep
Beautiful. Looks great and handles tracks like this really well. She's still not an obvious contender to win and has been losing out on votes for a couple of weeks despite brilliant performances. If she can hang on I still reckon she could surprise everyone, especially if she can survive to the last four and split Lauren's fans. She has something special and a natural talent that didn't really come across in this number but it was a familiar and definitely current track which may help keep her in.

Jacob ♪7 ☼7
Dance with my father again
He seemed to be put off my something technical at the start but controlled that well which is to his credit. He was doing pretty well by not doing the big wobble or scream and I was beginning to think that maybe he stood a chance of getting further. Then he did the scream and it was all over the place. Not very good and I can do without the emotional link stuff which is like too obvious however genuinely intended. This guy has a nice enough voice and what seems a pleasant personality but he's no 2011 superstar and I don't see him filling a stadium or headlining anything more than a Bingo convention or something for the old people. I wish he would go now.

Casey ♪6½ ☼8½
Hard to breathe
This guy loves his music and I don't actually think he means to surprise us but he still does. Vocally he has a cool style and the scat stuff is great and his character is pretty damn adorable. The move to kiss J-lo will definitely go down in Idol history and makes you wonder how many artists would have had to nerve to do that, and so well-timed. For all the show, though. this was an odd performance which I'm not sure many will identify with very easily as it was neither one thing nor the other and that whilst we're on the cusp of a movable feast whether he can capture that movable vote I'm not so sure. At times he was also way off note too and not in a way he should've been. Odd one. No idea how he'll do but my guess is he'll still be ahead of Stefano.

Stefano ♪6½ ☼8
I Just Can't Stop
Once the track got going he found what he should have been doing all the time, a young, upbeat number and he moved around well. He will appeal to the girls although some slightly off-putting looks to the camera. Generally, though, still seems an amateur to me and he hasn't brought home that special track I would have expected of him by now. His past performances have been good note-wise which this wasn't either, probably because he's simply not ready to do more than one thing at a time which the winner needs if this show is to have any meaning. Thereagain, Kris won the year before last. This could be his last performance after several weeks scrabbling for votes.

Lauren ♪9½ ☼9½
Born To Fly
That was great. OK, so it was country but she brought her own style to it and is looking better and better every week. As the judges said, she doesn't know how good she is and that lack of self-confidence could be all that's stopping her beating Scotty & James. She has to be safe this week and is now well back as a Top 3 final contender, now ahead of Haley.

American Idol Top 8 become 7

2011-04-15T21:55:00.000+01:00

Haley, Paul and Stefano with the lowest votes this week. Well, I give up trying to predict anything on this crazy (but good) show.

Scotty and Lauren did another double act - that's becoming a habit! Haley and Casey, though, totally stole the show with a brilliant jazz, scatty number. Standing ovation from the judges for a results show performance. Now that's saying something. Haley is really impressive and looking and sounding better each week. Surely she's not the one to get the Pia treatment?

After a less than remarkable Rihanna performance we learn that Paul gets 8th place and Stefano, once more, gets another chance. He deserves that.

It really should have been Jacob going but looks like we're stuck with him for another week of wailing.

American Idol Top 8

2011-04-14T22:30:00.001+01:00

Opening with the replay of Pia leaving - they're certainly making a big thing of that which I don't get. We now know that she wasn't getting top votes in previous weeks either. Anyway, it's Movie Theme night. Who'll ruin what? Who'll choose something good? There sure was something for everyone. Really difficult to call - it should be Jacob that goes. Only Scotty, Stefano and Haley should be safe. James, Casey, Paul and Lauren - any could well be joining Jacob on the chairs.

Paul ♪7 ☼7
Old Time Rock n Roll
Fun, reasonably competent. Not particularly inspiring although I like his individuality and he's pretty reliable as a show opener. There's no 'moment' though. Winners need a 'moment' when you just stop and say 'wow'. Even if you don't like them that much. You feel that his voting graph over the weeks is like a straight horizontal line at a level enough to keep him safe so far.

Lauren ♪4 ☼8
The Climb
Ugh. What is she trying to do? Miley Cyrus had some teenage appeal but Lauren looks twenty something. Pretty awful note selection and, despite polite audience applause and fans cheering, that was rubbish. No-one's going to play that out of choice. Why don't the judges criticise? They must have thought 'Hey, that's not so good. She can do better.' That's when you realise how relevant Simon Cowell was. He would have panned her or probably told her to get something more suitable. She could be vulnerable but surely there can't be another girl departing this week? So she'll scrape through.

Stefano ♪9 ☼8
End of the Road
Or something like that. Brave choice for someone who might have thought that's where he was. Not my type of track but he did a good job and will have won a lot of extra support for that. Good voice, nice style. A bit boring and he still needs to find that song that defines who and what he is. Reminds me of Kris and the little David who surprised us in previous years.

Scotty ♪10 ☼9½
I Cross My Heart
Nice work, Scotty. You felt you were watching the winner. In a way, I suppose it was just a country song and not the most memorable one at that - no Carrie Anderson look or exceptional appeal - he just gets up, sings, hits the best notes and has something that you know is Scotty. The guy's a star already. AI has a habit of making the real stars come second, though, so there's still a chance for someone!

Casey ♪?? ☼??
Nature Boy
Oh boy. What was that? Jazz meets Idol. Brave move. Didn't quite work in places - he looked like he was making it up as he went along. Hated bits but loved bits. What on earth the public will make of that I do not know. One thing's for sure: neither will he lose votes to someone else nor nick votes from someone else so if he survives that'll be because he has one big following of his own. This is turning into one memorable, and slightly weird, series.

Haley ♪9 ☼9
Call Me
Excellent! So good to see her enjoying what she is so good at. Nice track, kicked off strongly unlike so many others' efforts and this should work well for her. Judges were critical of her but could have been of the others which I know someone in the audience on the night found unfair but I guess that's life. Who knows? It may even prompt a few more fans to vote for this attractive and talented girl. She certainly shouldn't be going home this week.

Jacob ♪4 ☼7
Bridge Over Troubled Water
For a moment I thought he'd made a good choice and I would forgive and forget what had been before. But, no, a few bars in and he was wailing at me, screaming words that just weren't written to be screamed like that. Paul Simon should have walked on and whacked him. Hated that and so hope he goes. This is no idol. OK, he's got something but it's not something I want. Bits were dreadful but no judge comments?

James ♪9½ ☼7½
Heavy Metal
You have to hand it to the guy - he loves singing and loves that heavy style. James brought his world to the Idol stage which will not have pleased some viewers but tonight has been a night where no-one would like everyone anyway. As usual, spot on vocals. The lengthy guitar solo from the rock ace he brought on wasn't going to help his votes, though. He'll get a contract soon enough from this publicity, whatever happens.

American Idol 9 - emotions mounting high

2011-04-09T13:02:00.000+01:00

Boy, quite a night. Jacob, Stefano and Pia receiving the lowest votes and you kinda guessed that either Jacob or Stefano would be bowing out, neither having done particularly brilliantly for a week or two nor looking like they had much of a chance of winning so it wouldn't be a Big Thing.

Jacob was the first to get relieved. He would have been my prediction to go but lives to warble and scream another last note before fading onto the cover of an album for Christmas. Stefano more or less had his case packed at that point and was scribbling his number on Pia's wrist in the event that none of the million men in a million bars that Steven Tyler reckoned would be wanting her actually got in touch. In fact it seemed that it was just that - the million men were in a million bars: each watching Pia on their own with a solitary glass and no credit on their phone or on the slate to use the bar's one. She was the one with the least votes this week.

You could see the shock on the normally pretty calm Randy's face and Jennifer Lopez was crying. It was pretty damned weird as there was such an outpouring of what seemed genuine sadness, maybe not so much at Pia's demise but sympathy as to how this quite tough-looking, hard-edged girl would handle what must have surprised her too. I even felt it myself which was crazy. Her contribution to the opening rubbish was one of the few (with Haley's and James') that vaguely lifted it out of the dreadful zone and showed how reliable and, perhaps, how much effort she was beginning to make now.

I've been cautious about her all the way through - just couldn't identify any individual emotional content and I'm wondering if that was felt across the States. Smart-looking, professional, reliable and fit but too two-dimensional. No-one votes for a magazine cover - which she'll surely be on next week if not sooner.

I feel a bit sorry for Jacob and Stefano who must have been thinking to themselves "Hang on, if there's all this outcry about Pia then presumably they're rating us down at the bottom and wouldn't have objected at all if we'd gone!" Not that sorry, though. I should imagine Casey and Lauren are also well pleased to get another shot at what is looking increasingly like The Scotty Show. James and Haley would now be my outside bets. In fact if Haley manages to dispose of Lauren she could surprise everyone, including herself. James is the dangerous one to watch, though. He's always there, performing strongly, with total confidence and spot-on in tune. Drop the scream and we have a real competition.

American Idol 9

2011-04-07T23:24:00.000+01:00

This season has to go down as one of the most difficult to predict and also with the best potential talent. All credit to the selection teams and musical advisers who not only have found some brilliant performers but also given them decent stuff to perform with. My guess is that Paul, Jacob and Casey won't sleep so well. In fact by the time this goes out one of them may have done. Lauren may get a wake-up call too.

Jacob ♪8½ ☼6
Once you stop giggling at the white wires wiggling out of the white suit it gets easier to concentrate! He kicked off the show with Man In The Mirror which is probably appropriate as if he could look at himself he would have realised that the outfit made him look more than a bit ungainly. This was probably one of his best song choices, though, and he was well advised. The support from what at times looked like a double act with Sayeeda seemed a bit unfair but I guess it'll all even out through the night.

Haley ♪10 ☼10
Piece Of My Heart. Another brilliant song choice. This was a fabulous performance. Loved it. Whereas Jacob needed Sayeeda, Haley needed no-one and left them all standing anyway. One of the best AI performances in my view.

Casey ♪6½ ☼7½
Have You Ever Heard The Rain. Almost too much like John Fogerty's voice, though. A nice arrangement but I wasn't convinced by some of his additions later. Competent but I wonder how it'll go down?

Lauren ♪8 ☼7
Natural Woman. I honestly can't think of anything to say about this. It was OK. She hit the right notes but it was just boring.

James ♪9 ☼7
While My Guitar Gently Weeps. Another strangely soporific performance. It was pretty predictable - the high screech at the end. Some passion and well sung otherwise but just a B-side in my book this week.

Scotty ♪10 ☼10
My goodness, two star performances tonight! That's All Right, Mama worked so well for him. He enjoyed himself and entertained the audience who really went with it too. This guy is a natural on the stage and could be difficult to beat after that performance. Not, maybe, as cool as Haley's but definitely commercial.

Pia ♪9 ♪8
River Deep, Mountain High. Not at all an easy track to do and this was Pia showing what she can do when she starts to move around instead of ballad-delivery. Pretty damn good but . . . and I hate to do the but bit . . . there's something by way of character still missing. She's a little hard-edged, both to look at and to listen to. Excellent notes, rhythm, spot on in many ways that would have left most people way behind but you don't get to know how she feels and get left with the impression you've been served by some good, talented but still one of the girls behind the expensive make-up counters in a department store.

Stefano ♪8 ☼7
When A Man Loves A Woman. I wonder if he tried just a little too hard on this number. It should just roll along but he tended to throw it at us. Good presentation and showed a great range that could actually have more appeal than Jacob's lilting stuff with whom he's competing here. Neither seem like winners yet, though. In a tough week, he may struggle against so many first class contenders.

Paul ♪7 ☼8
Can't remember the title of the Johnny Cash number but he gave us some manic version that showed off his competence and audience management well. Whilst he obviously had fun I'm not so sure he made that good an impression - possibly the poorest song choice of the night and I'm getting a bit tired of the same tone in his voice now.

American Idol 11 - now it's 9

2011-04-01T22:20:00.000+01:00

Thank goodness we didn't have the group dance. Instead Scotty and Lauren kicked off with a faultless duet which could be released now and be a hit. We knew they were safe. Naima and Jacob tried a duet but it wasn't the best of matches and I'm getting bored with Jacob now. Haley, Thia & Pia did a very professional and competent Teenage Dream although I'm surprised they got away with some lyrics which Haley and Pia will have had to explain to Thia! The four other remaining boys did a pretty impressive rendition of Band On The Run but it did highlight just how good James is and how much like a choirboy Stefano appeared!

The bottom three were Naima, Paul and Thia. Paul was a surprise to me but survived with Naima, as predicted by most people, and Thia, less well-anticipated, leaving - an outcome that seems about right. Ryan hinted that Casey would have been proud of the proportion of the 55m votes cast which should reduce his odds nicely.

For me, the good news was to see Haley staying with another week to show what she can do. Hopefully that will include beating Jacob.

American Idol The Top 11 again

2011-03-31T22:02:00.001+01:00

Quite what America made of the very strange choice of Elton John interview - a session with Michael Parkinson from 1971 or thereabouts - I have no idea! Of all the clips that must be available in the Fox library why on earth choose one that had neither a question or answer of any meaning? Oh well. We then get a collage of hairstyles and some strained link to some of the Top 11 at a photoshoot at which nine of them must have been wishing they were as photogenic as Pia and Lauren. At least they didn't have them prancing gaily down a Yellow Brick Road or a girl-boy mimed rendition of Don't Go Breaking My Heart with each getting a line each and smiling at the camera afterwards.

Scotty ♪9 ☼9
Country Comforts. Kinda says it all really. One clever last note! Grandma'll also get him a pile of notes. A natural performer, he'll get through and snaffling 100% of the country-style notes will make him difficult to beat until the numbers are well down to two or three choices.

Naima ♪7 ☼5
I'm Still Standing, reggae style. OK but uninspiring. She put her own stamp on the track but it lost it's meaning and urgency in the process. Can't imagine anyone really wanting to buy that.

Paul ♪7½ ☼7½
Rocket Man. Odd choice - reasonable enough track sung quietly and thank goodness his legs stayed in one place for two minutes. Very recognisable voice and he's got fans. Not a memorable performance in a neither one thing or another way. Whether he survives depends on what Haley, Stefano and Naima do, really.

Pia ♪8½ ☼8
Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me. I was hoping no-one would go for this and wish Pia hadn't despite the applause she got from an audience she seems to really appeal to as The All American Girl Who Sings The National Anthem At Baseball Matches. She's good but I still find her top notes tinny - I guess it has to be my speakers as the judges seem to have no criticism at all. She does dress well and has confidence and almost all that an American Idol needs - I just want to see some personality and feel like liking her more. She has to be around for a lot longer though and I really do look forward to changing my mind if she can show another side that's, oh I don't know, a bit more natural and less controlled.

Stefano ♪8 ☼7½
Tiny Dancer. This is an important week for the tiny Stefano, someone I predicted as a finalist back in the early days. He looked good, dressed exactly as he should have been but most of the performance was a little muted and, yes, he was trying to get it across but it wasn't until near the end that he finally began to get through to people. That gentler side is different to most of the others and I can see him appealing to the young girls who vote too. He may have done enough to steer clear of the bottom two but still has to find that real natural something he needs to survive longer. He hasn't had a 'moment' yet.

Lauren ♪9 ☼8½
Candle In The Wind. Oh well, I suppose someone had to do this one too. Wish they hadn't but if anyone was going to I guess her version was the most bearable. Nice performance - gentle and well-interpreted. Definitely through to the next round, no question about that. I like the way she doesn't seem to turn tracks into anthems and just delivers them her way with the natural air that Pia needs.

James ♪9½ ☼8
Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting was the track I wanted him or Lauren to do and it suited him. It was about time the place came alive and I think everyone was glad about that. For that reason alone he deserves to stay on board and, provided American voters don't mind a track comprising 56 Saturdays delivered by a guy with a silly hairstyle, he'll be fine for a while yet. Totally natural, he enjoyed himself and was spot on the notes as usual.

Thia ♪6 ☼7
Daniel was a difficult track for her and I have no clue as to why she chose it. She started off trying too hard but actually got it right half-way through and didn't overplay the notes at all. Quite a mature performance which won't have done her any harm. I was prepared to be scorchingly critical after she transformed my Twitter feed to a Thia nonsense stream for a brief time before I unfollowed her. However, she redeemed herself by listening to her advisors on the night. She was, surprisingly, missing notes more than the others which probably indicates just how much she was trying to interpret words she probably didn't really get but got away with that and has an ability to rescue herself rather than offend our ears anyway. Lots of talent. Still don't see her getting past 5th or 6th place though. If Haley were to really impress everyone then she may find herself panicking a bit. She also has to deal with the ongoing Pia comparisons.

Casey ♪9 ☼8
Your Song. I had this down for Scotty but it was ideal for Casey, especially after the OTT efforts of last week. Nice interpretation - if anyone can read the words and make them make sense then this guy can and all credit to him for that. This balanced the excess he'd let himself in for to date. He was a contender and now could be again. He needs to get through so we can see what else he can do as well.

Jacob ♪6 ½ ☼ 6½
Sorry Seems To Be The Hardest Word. Another track I'd wished no-one had attempted. It just has too many opportunities for the heavy warbling that this guy is getting a name for. Fair enough, he avoided the obvious to start with and I still get Anthony & The Johnsons but without the subtlety. He's no American Idol, though, in my view, but still doesn't deserve to go this week. He may be bottom three, though.

Haley ♪8½ ☼7½
Bennie And The Jets - I'd never have expected that! She needs something good, something to distinguish her from the other girls and make us want her back for more. There's great talent there and she's got a great personality that Pia and Thia need and a style that's hers rather than rehearsed or instilled by a hovering parent. Giving her the closing spot usually means the producers have seen something a little special so all of this had me wishing and hoping. A great performance and I just hope the American public recognise just how good this girl is. She's been struggling so far, close to the bottom each week I think, and may just not be getting through to enough people that vote. In a world of anthem-deliverers she may still suffer but I do definitely see her with a good future, Kellie Pickler-style perhaps.

Do I dare predict who's going? No. Naima would be my choice. Jacob next. Thia's vulnerable. Then Haley or Stefano. I reckon Jacob and Thia have a big enough core following to survive, though, which leaves Naima and Haley really. Stefano scraping through again. Pity if that's the way it is. We'll see soon enough. America probably knows already. But I won't look.

A bird that tweets far too much...

2011-03-30T22:37:00.000+01:00

Thia Megia is certainly a talented young lady and, whilst I don't see her winning, I have been pretty kind in my reviews to date. However, although I don't get to see the Elton John track show until tomorrow here in the UK and the betting seems pretty firmly to indicate that it'll be Haley and Naima who disappear this week, Thia really does need to sing not tweet and won't have endeared herself to supporters today!

I think she is only the second person I have had to 'unfollow' on Twitter following my stream being virtually taken over by scores of pretty meaningless and silly tweets from her (or maybe her helicopter mother).

The excellent MJ's blog airs exactly the same sentiment. So she's now going to have to be pretty damn amazing to make up, assuming she survives, of course!

I have no idea what songs they'll all be doing but I can imagine Scotty, still out as the favourite, doing Your Song and Pia standing still and throwing Candle In The Wind at us. Please don't let Paul Crocodile Rock all we'll all get confused watching his legs move independently of either the music of the rest of his limbs. I'd love to see Lauren or James hit Saturday Night's All Right For Fighting but they probably won't. Nikita is probably my favourite but I don't expect anyone will do that. The Bitch Is Back now there's an option for someone and, of course, Someone Saved My Life Tonight will suit Casey really well, all things considered. I just pray that Jacob is kept well away from Don't Let The Sun Go Down On Me and everyone from The Circle of Life.

American Idol 11 stay 11

2011-03-25T22:33:00.000Z

Well, I seem to have got that right. The voters sure hammered Casey but he got saved in a pretty remarkable evening that, rightly in my view, saw all through to the all-important tour. Stefano and Thia were the other recipients of the lowest votes but my guess is that there probably wasn't a great deal separating Thia from the others and I wouldn't draw any conclusions from that.

Next week two will go. On current betting it would be Haley and Naima who, at 70-1 and 120-1 respectively, really do seem to be regarded as having no chance whatsoever. Scotty, Pia, James and Lauren are the only contenders according to Betfair at the time of writing. I update the odds on their pictures in the separate page of this blog.

American Idol 11 - Motown week

2011-03-25T20:59:00.000Z

Steve Tyler is proving to be an inspired choice for AI10. He was even getting applause and cheers when asked to talk about Motown which would be more Randy's specialist topic you'd think. Some very cool people in the audience and playing on stage too in what should be a good show. This is going to be one hard week to call. Only a point and a half separate everyone other than James at the top and Casey at the bottom. Surely he can't go? Perhaps he'd be saved and judgement deferred. An interesting part two beckons. It might be Haley.

Casey ♪7 ☼4
I Heard It Through The Grapevine. An odd choice - all too predictable and he simply didn't look right tonight. I think he sounded OK but, as last week, it's so difficult with the backing drowning out the vocals on tv. Dunno about this. I'm beginning to have doubts, having had him down as a sure-fire finalist. This was no good in my view. He ought to be fine but...

Thia ♪8½ ☼7
This girl's really beginning to shine. She had fun with Heatwave and looked comfortable. It was like something on the radio rather than a performance that grabbed you and said 'Hey listen!' but she'll be back next week for sure. If she could add that vital extra spark of star quality she'll be a contender.

Jacob ♪8 ☼8
You're all I need to get by needs two people but he got away with the help of some backing singers. A nice song and this had to be his good week. It was, apart from an ill-fitting jacket! He took the advice and just managed to keep the warbling at bay with a truly excellent 2 minutes. Forget his instructions and screeched at the last second but he'll be back all right.

Lauren ♪8 ☼8
You keep me hanging on. This was a great track for her. An excellent performance - and boy, has she matured since the auditions! Very competent. That could have been a single.

Stefano ♪9 ☼6
I can't actually recall what he sang which kinda sums up this accurate and beautifully sung track but it lacked anything by way of connection. He may be in a spot of trouble and got a good telling off from the judges which was a huge contrast with all the others to date. Felt a bit sorry for him. Hope he survives.

Haley ♪7 ☼7½
You really got a hold on me. The Smokey Robinson number will either work for her or it won't. No half measures. She sure made an effort and brought out those great legs for all the men out there but I'm not convinced. It was just a little desperate, as if she knows she's approaching leaving time. She's not at all bad but I just can't say she's sure of survival despite all the effort.

Scotty ♪5 ☼9
I thought he'd be well out of his comfort zone but For Once In My Life was fairly readily converted into a country song along with harmonica backing. To be honest it wasn't great when he headed for the higher notes and he can't sing 'loud' but I could imagine it working in a slower and maybe slightly lower vein.

Pia ♪9 ☼7
A track by Stevie Wonder I didn't know. She managed to find a ballad that suited her more than it probably suits Motown. No-one can deny that she can sing but I still don't see where she fits in. Still too serious, maybe a little too 'perfect'. I want to like her but there's a barrier that has to come down first - if she can. She seems pretty popular and maybe suits the 'all American' crowd taste and, as Jennifer cleverly pointed out she ticks so many boxes " but..." I'd say she'd struggle this week but I'm probably going to be the only one and she is unlikely, even if bottom three, to lose a sing-off. And I still find her top notes tinny. Maybe it's my tv.

Paul ♪7 ☼8½
What a great track. Tracks Of My Tears. I had great hopes for Paul in Motown week as he has an infectious style and true natural rhythm. This was not a track to do quick-time with a smile, though. It sounded good but looked wrong. I guess if you forget the meaning of the song then it worked and he did get there at the end. Not bad but not fabulous as he could have been with a different number. He's got a great stage style for all that and should be safe.

Naima ♪6½ ☼7
Dancing In the Street. This was a very good performance and she looked ten times better than she has all through so far. A good choice that worked well, well, except for the sudden arrival of some African dancers and she went a bit native for no good reason. She was fine without that and it is unlikely to have got her any extra votes. Some of the high notes weren't there and she's not really a long-term contender but doesn't deserve to go based on that performance.

James ♪9 ☼8½
Living For The City possibly the best performance of the night. Not at all one of my favourite tracks but he did really well, owning the stage and thoroughly enjoying the whole thing. Spot-on notes in a difficult number and genuine interaction with the band and singers as well as the all-important audience. Impressive.

American Idol 2010 betting

2011-03-19T22:51:00.000Z

The first couple of weeks have seen big changes in the betting here in the UK, with the 'all American' boy and girl now favourites - Scotty at 3-1 and Pia at 4-1. Lauren, Casey and James are tucked in pretty closely behind them but that's about it. There's then a big jump to odds in the region of 20-1+ for Jacob, Stefano, Thia and Paul and Haley and Naima trailing way, way behind at odds implying they're as good as gone, in the region of 130-1.

I have to say I find these surprising. Whilst Scotty and Pia are clearly confident professionals and could stand on a stage anywhere and put in a good performance neither seem like winners in my book. Casey should win and, if the same votes as went to Lee last year go his way, he will. Stefano is gathering support and remains one of my outside chances for a final three but he'd need an extraordinary song selection to get further.

Thia stretching out to 20-1 doesn't make much sense to me and I have a suspicion that, in a head-to-head competition with Pia, she would win but circumstances probably won't conspire to give us such a charming battle of the -ias.

So, if you're looking for long shots, go for Thia and Stefano and, if she can settle on a style, Haley isn't beaten yet and 120-1, assuming she does survive the next week or two which the punters say she won't, will prove a rare opportunity.

American Idol 12

2011-03-19T19:51:00.001Z

Could someone have a word with the producers to quieten down the backing volume. It may just be my tv but the percussion especially seemed to drown out almost everyone - even Jacob, and that takes some doing when he's in full flow!

So this is my take on the Top 12 - late this week - and I'll watch the results show as soon as this is finished to discover how wrong my predictions have been. I may finally then be able to look at my Twitter feed again too! Like some of the contestants, I've been suffering from some really bad cold or something. Right, cough, splutter, here goes:

Naima ♪5 ☼6
She brought a lot of style again this week to the stage and she stands out - quite a unique contestant but missing notes didn't help her. She survived last week and fast numbers with plenty of life suit her. Unfortunately this number slowed and that's when she showed that she's not really all that special.

Paul ♪3 ☼7
Totally drowned by the backing. This song has bags of meaning but I didn't get anything from this performance at all. His timing was all over the place and, quite frankly, it was a mess. He's different - highly original and you could tell what he had in mind but a combination of poor health and lack of good guidance let him down. He has lots of support, though, so should survive this round.

Thia ♪8½ ☼6
She's a class act. Really good. I'm not sure how much modern appeal she's got but this was one good, if a bit inconsequential, performance that will see her safely through to next week and probably several more weeks too.

James ♪9 ☼8½
A Bon Jovi track - suited him well and he produced a marvellous performance, spot-on in all respects. His initial screech seems to have been well placed on the back burner, being produced at the end in this track. He deserves to stick around or a while and could surprise everyone if he can demonstrate that he can also deliver a gentle track with feeling.

Haley ♪6 ☼6½
This was a lively performance. Clearly, she's realised that she had to do something to stay in the competition and showed a lot of individual talent here. Unfortunately she managed to confuse us all at the same time as to exactly what kind of artist she is and I really don't know what to make of her chances. I have a feeling the voters won't either.

Stefano ♪9 ☼8½
One of the few who overcame the backing and came across brilliantly. Excellent control of a track that wasn't easy but he excelled and is someone who could do well in this competition, quietly getting through without anyone actually noticing.

Pia ♪9 ☼8
This girl's proving to be really reliable and is a first class performer. You could tell somehow she was pleased with the way things were going and she good rave reviews once more and the crowd seem to love her. There's something I can't relate to, though. and, coupled with a tinniness at the top end, I just rate her as a good stand-by for big occasions but not an 'idol'.

Scotty ♪9 ☼9
He stuck to his country guns and presented this trach really well. This guy doesn't need this show - he's already a star and should be able to sell albums no problem. He's not my idea of what AI10 should be finding in 2011 but I can't knock the guy. He's good and will be around a good time yet.

Karen ♪2 ☼5
She was really all over the place tune-wise and struggled a lot. She could well struggle to stay in and this week showed that she simply isn't a contender. She made a good effort appearance-wise but I can't see anything saving her except a Latino landslide vote this week.

Casey ♪10 ☼9
Superb performance of Nirvana's Teen Spirit. Absolutely brilliant performance of something you wouldn't have expected on AI any number and this earned him huge respect. It was still difficult hearing even Casey's searing voice above extraordinarily badly balanced broadcast track, though.

Lauren ♪7½ ☼9
Good strong performance showing why this girl is one of the favourites this year. She's going to be around for a good while yet.

Jacob ♪8 ☼8
Good choice of song from Top Gun could keep this big guy around for a bit longer. It was well-performed but I do find him a bit overpowering still on occasion.

Update, later the same evening...

Sure enough, Karen went. She made a good effort at her 'save me' song and even showed Pia what the high notes ought to sound like but it wasn't enough to persuade all the judges to give her another chance. I was disappointed to see that one of them had been prepared to do so - surely they need to retain that option for someone really talented who falls foul of the public one week.

American Idol 13 become 12

2011-03-11T21:59:00.000Z

30 million votes. I'd love the see the breakdown. That'll earn the producers enough to keep the set looking sparkly and pay the contestants their $3000 a show. I wonder if they still get that if they're voted off? Anyway, here we go - the first one to go is ...

Karen, Ashton and Haley were the bottom three. The judges could have used their one-off 'save' but they didn't, probably just as well. Ashton was never going to win. I'd have preferred them to have given Tatynisa a chance.

The 'let's all dance around and smile a lot' intro was an odd Michael Jackson affair. Poor old Scotty must have wondered what on earth he was supposed to do but luckily the cameras didn't pick him up for more than a couple of notes which he was probably actually singing while the rest mimed along. Pia got a good centre-stage spot again and the others flapped about. It didn't last long, thank goodness and wasn't terribly out of tune like most of last year's efforts.

Ryan had a new script to follow for the "Dim the lights" bit and was none too comfortable with it. He pulled two groups of three out and confused everyone pretty pointlessly. Strangely seven found themselves safe by simply not being called out and he even had to persuade them to celebrate a bit. Weird. Bet they change that next week. Casey's suffering still which is a bit sad. With possibly the same problem myself I feel for him and wish him well.

Adam Lambert was superb with a new version of one of the songs he's written himself. A totally assured guy, possibly one of the greatest finds of the series, showed the others how to get notes right and a message across. Someone else with a weird name performed too - the only memorable bit being the groovy intro girl.

Interesting to see that they'd put a farewell package together for her before knowing that the judges wouldn't save her. Suppose they could have done that for all of them. A quick bit of David Cook, too, with a reasonable-sounding version of Don't You Forget About Me at the end.