Updates and reviews for X Factor UK, X Factor USA, American Idol, Eurovision and other programmes that appeal to me. Published just for fun and maybe a little outrageous fortune and the entertainment and amusement of readers.
Fun and Robbie Williams were entertaining. Just as well as the sight of James Arthur taking part in the intro sing-a-long was not pretty. Robbie was quite remarkably good and the brief run through of his past hits was a salutary reminder of how Kye hadn't really done a great deal with his efforts at Let Me Entertain You. In the middle of his performance of Candy, his brilliantly commercial current single, Robbie shouts out his support for Rylan. That must have made the guy's week.
The votes won't have made Union J's week, as they found themselves in the bottom two, much to everyone's surprise. Every judge and commentator had expected a group but it was District3's useless performance that was supposed to have been the dud, not Union J who, whilst not exactly inspiring, were far better.
Jade was the much predicted other low vote recipient, deservedly so after a very strange song selection. She might have rescued herself with a careful and excellent sing-off track had she been up against anyone else than Union J. She wasn't though and so didn't.
She was likely to go in the early weeks but I had expected her to survive longer. Once again, it is abundantly clear that the people voting are still an entirely different mix to those commentating, with Old Baloney through yet again.
Next week it's Number One's Week which, unfortunately, could be up Old Baloney's voting supporters' street. Anything is possible, with such a vast range. So who'll be doing Firestarter?
Peter Dickson was back on form in Week 2 of the auditions, blasting us from the start but not nearly as loud as his 'competition' announcement, declaring that there was no question to answer this year to win a trip, money and various nick-nacks. Actually, I reckon that for many viewers, dialling the number required could be as difficult as answering correctly the stupid questions they had last year.
Anyway, back to the show. Who on earth is Rita? The mystery new judge this week has a new, or to most people, a first album to sell but quite how she managed to share the seats with Gary, Louie and Tulisa does remain to be explained.
We start with Rylan Clarke who spends a great deal of time on his appearance, an Essex guy with ash blonde hair and black roots. He wants to tsya in the music industry and puts down office jobs with a glorious comment to the effect that the highlighlight of office conversation would be 'Awright Maud?' which, for me, was one of the most memorable parts of the evening. He was a pretty useless singer but interesting and entertaining so we'll see him again.
Kye (what is it with the strange names this year?) was next. Nice tone and definitely some talent but whether the standing ovation was deserved for this quite good but not spectacularly good chap I am not so sure. Maybe it was more out of relief at that stage of the actual proceedings rather than as we view things.
Off to Manchester and Scary Spice is back and still looking quite odd. After a weak performance from someone called Chanelle we get Lucy from Sheffield. Now she is good. a great song that she's written herself, original and it worked very well for her even if some of the rhymes were strange. I love Lucy you can expect to see emblazoned on T shirts when we move on as she is more than safely through. It was also nice to hear a Florence & The Machine track played in the background to her success.
A load opf nutters follow which I hardly noticed and we end with James, a strange-looking guy with very red cheeks, lots of green and brown clothes and looking a bit out of proportion He gave a good performance of one of the Tulisa's songs which was well received and you can see Gary wanting to take him through to the live shows with Lucy and Kye.
And that was it. That seemed to fly by and all credit to the new producers for concentrating on the two or three that are worth watching and have some hope rather than the dreadful failures. The Xtra Factor also showed a nice couple of girls with guitars - Shackles - a possible contender for the groups category.
So here we go again. Either Peter Dickson was speaking more quietly than usual or the letters were smaller but this was a classier start than usual and Dermot O'Leary is in there at the start, along with Olly Murs in fine form, on video at least, with Caroline and the judges.
This year for Kelly Rowland read Nicole Scherzinger which could be confusing for American readers, especially when X Factor USA kicks off soon. Nicole steered the excellent and not immediately marketable Josh Krajick to 2nd place in America's version, (Simon winning, naturally, with Melanie Amaro) and if she can actually make her mind up and keep back the tears a bit while she's over here then she's likely to be an improvement on her predecessor. Gary seems a little less desperate to impress, Tulisa looks older but still very pretty and Louis has more hair in several shades of grey. He is so fortunate that Simon isn't on the panel.
The show was under way really quickly and someone calling himself Sheyi takes the stage with a big smile, great manners and obvious talent. A natural entertainer but for some reason he rasped away in a bad impression of Louis Armstrong in tight trousers which no-one in their right minds would expect to get through. I'm convinced that this was some kind of set up - maybe they didn't have anyone amusing and reasonable for the first act so got this guy to act up for a few grand. Two reasons: one, when he dropped out of the rasping growl voice for the intermittent 'yay' or 'hey' you heard a decent and absolutely in tune voice, the sort you'd expect from someone like him and, two, my daughter tells me that he's Deputy Head Boy at Royal Latin School in Buckingham, or was last year, and that's neither his name nor his style. She also rather doubted that he worked at Nandos in London - Milton Keyenes, maybe - or came from Camden. Camden does sound cooler than Buchingham, though.
We moved on and someone with a name like Feckton sings Freedom pretty well, Rick's a fireman with red blotches and gets through as does Tasha with a nice tone and a first glimpse of some real talent. Then comes Jahmene Douglas. You think he's going to be the joke act and whine a lot or something. He has a nervous laugh at the end of each short sentence and long ones seem to be beyond him. The shiny grey suit is worrying too, looking like something someone bought for him and poured him into before feeding him up.
Then the guy sings. At Last is a pretty smart song at the best of times and he is just brilliant. Every note absolutely spot on, a totally natural singer. Outstanding voice but I don't know - despite all the raves from everyone there - how will he fare as the stages progress and can we really, honestly, imagine this chap dancing to an Abba song or whatever they get the poor contestants to do on the Live Shows? Writing this rather later than I should did give me the befit of a peek at some odds and the bookies have him as an early favourite so I guess he's safely through for a while yet.
We get a better chunk of Peter Dickson now with some competition that doesn't even have a question to answer. Eh?
Zoe does a Pink tribute not particularly well, despite a build up that made us think she'd be a good act. There's some nasty behaviour as she storms off and you do have to wonder whether the return of Brian Fieldman to direct the shows has had an influence on upping the drama.
Off to Manchester next and we get Scary Spice Mel B in various shades of strange orange being particularly grumpy with almost everyone. To be fair, they all deserved it and it was quite refreshing to see a judge telling acts that they weren't much good instead of pussy-footing around as most of the others have tended to do for fear of breaking some Single Equality Act regulation.
The one that didn't get the grumps was Ella Henderson who sang one of her own compositions. Now that's a brave move anyway but both her writing and her singing are damn good. Perhaps she will find herself aligned with Adele too much and it is to be hoped that she can pull herself away from that overdone genre. One class act and another tip for the top.
These are, though, very early days. It is, thank heavens, a long time 'til Christmas and the Final! I suspect there will be more contenders than the two everyone is talking about this week.
Much as almost everyone had predicted, Janet and Misha received the fewest votes. Janet may have hoped that her usual huge following might have kept her in and it still might if the judges take it to deadlock.
Janet is first to sing with a beautiful version of Chasing Cars, the Snow Patrol number that suited her so well and you did have to wonder why on earth she didn't do that on the show itself.
MishaB sings out of tune On My Own by someone I don't know. With her hair in some sort of atomic explosion cloud above her head she hasn't got the visual appeal right at all. She gets a lot better tuning-wise as the song progresses but she's no winner, even if she survives.
Louis has always been a Janet fan but sends her home. That must be her out. Tulisa sends Janet home and that's that. It doesn't really matter that Kelly can't decide because, by not deciding, she did, in fact, seal Janet's fate.
Not a good decision but, to a great extent, Janet brought that on herself by some poor recent performances and I'm just glad I didn't put a bet on her when tempted at the very beginning when we all thought she was a certain finalist. With Frankie. Ah, those were the days.
I had high expectations of tonight's show with the track list looking ideal for most of the five remaining acts. An hour and three quarters later, only Amelia really showed that real X Factor that we're looking for in both performances. Marcus was great in a slightly incorrectly titled I'm Your Man and that was about it. Janet and MishaB are in trouble tomorrow so Janet will be spending tonight working out how to put MishaB out on stage and MishaB will be seeing what she can do off stage. Maybe a Sunday headline will help her out. Little Mix? Oh, they were OK.
With the amount of song murdering going on tonight I wondered whether I'd have been more entertained watching The Killing on BBC4 after all.
Little Mix Baby
Apparently that was a Justin Bieber song. Clearly I need to pay more attention. Mixed cleverly with a bit of The Supremes that worked well and should see the group safely through to the semi-final. They sound good together and have fun on stage. Some of the hairstyles and clothes don't show them as particularly pretty girls and I'm sure they looked better as individual artists many weeks ago.
Beautiful
Well, that was a bit boring and not exactly a good song choice but they did stay together and work well on stage. That won't have got them many more votes but they should still survive unless the others pull something extraordinary out of the bag and convert the extra phone votes they need.
♫7 ☼8
Janet MmmBop
I was really hoping that she'd be seen to let go and have fun with the Hanson favourite. It's such a cheery song but she neither sounded nor looked at all happy and even forgot the words at one point, almost wailing as she tried to rescue herself. She did get through to the end, just. Lots of sympathy as it turns out that she was definitely not well but she'll need every single vote she can pull in if she's going to survive with the others doing so well.
Under The Bridge
This was more like it, the Red Hot Chili Peppers' track, but much reduced, ridiculously so. It is not a song that many will recognise, though, unlike her nemesis Misha's choice, and also challenging for her supporters to vote for as they'll need to. I can see she's going to need one hell of a good performance to survive tomorrow. Now that is something she can certainly do but if she continues to be below par like this then it could be her farewell, especially if she's up against either Little Mix or MishaB as seems likely.
♫7 ☼6½
MishaB Girls Just Wanna Have Fun
I thought she would really deliver on this and be rocking around the stage and treating everyone to a Misha-Cyndi performance. It was accurate enough but lacked the incredible sparkle that the song should have. The rap bit in the middle was a reasonable modern touch and well-staged too but, overall, whilst far better than Janet's effort to revive an oldie, still didn't have that X Factor. And the trousers were awful. QAt least someone's finally fixed her hair and taken control of most of her image.
Killing Me Softly
She was either going to wow a lot of people or upset a lot of Roberta Flack fans with this. She missed some important notes and that was it. Downhill from there and the Fujee switch didn't rescue things much either.
♫7 ☼6
Marcus I'm Your Man
No chances taken with this one. Straight delivery, well sung by the increasingly confident and likeable Marcus. If George Michael was watching this from his hospital bed he'll be glad of the extra few bob in royalties and the chance to partner him in the final. Not bad but not fantastically brilliant by a potential winner of this competition.
Lately
Next came the Stevie Wonder number that he struggled with. Notes all over the place but he has got the ability to run and rescue things which I guess we need to give him credit for. He's safe tonight but this does show just where his limits are and, please, judges, cut out the sensational comments, please. Louis says that he nailed every note. No he didn't. maybe they get to listen to an auto-tuned version.
♫7½ ☼8
Amelia China In Your Hand
Wow. that was easily the best performance of the first set - and by a long way. She looks good, sounds excellent and is just so clearly passionate about performing. a natural star in the making but she needs some good luck and votes.
Since You've Been Gone
The Kelly Clakson one, not Rainbow. I thunk she'd have been better with Rainbow but, for all that, she was really the only one tonight with a natural X Factor. Great effort and she really should survive. Watch the repeat and you'll see what I mean - the others just look amateur in comparison, even Marcus tonight although his Wham job was up there too.
♫9 ☼9½
Simon must have got a Buy One Get One Free offer on Rihanna and I wonder whether she'll do the same mime as she did on XFactor USA? Actually singing tonight was Rebecca Ferguson, last year's runner-up, with a well-written number hoping for a boost in time for the Christmas sales to compete with all the others. With 1 Direction, Cher Lloyd, even Olly Murs and, for all I know the MacDonald Brothers, releasing albums she has a lot to compete with but as long as people don't get too confused between her and Leona on the adverts posters she should do well.
In the usual 'How did you think it went?' interviews with the remaining six acts, Craig sounded as though he'd seen the latest betting which has him as favourite to go.
Rihanna did an entertaining mime of We Found Love In A Hopeless Place in a tartan dress she'd borrowed from X Factor USA Rachel Crow and the stage filled with odd guys throwing each other about for no particular reason. I liked the shot of hay bales in the video. I wonder if that was the infamous Irish field video? Seems a bit insulting to our neighbours, though, to film about a hopeless place there just because their economy's screwed. The track seems to have just the one line so that'll be nice and easy for the fans to remember. Maybe that'll be next week's competition: what's the missing word in Rihanna's new single.. We Found Love In A Hopeless ... (A) Mess (B) Irish field with big hay bales (C) Place.
In no particular order... MishaB escaped as I rather guessed she might. Little Mix through as they should be. Marcus sails through. Now for the big one... it's Janet! So the voting is still going her way big time. And it's down to Amelia v Craig.
I warned the neighbours about the possibility of exceedingly bad language should Amelia be sent home. Craig wobbled to start then did a pretty reasonably passionate thing for Will You Still Love Me Tomorrow. Amelia did Lada Gaga. What confidence. You and I. Fabulous. Looking great and a real star, unlike the defeated and 'I'm still just a contestant' look in Craig's demeanour.
Gary obviously votes for Craig, saying Amelia had shouted. (Good grief, he must have missed most of Misha B's performances then). Kelly, of course, votes for Amelia. Tulisa? She votes for Craig, a bit surprisingly. Louis, thank heavens, votes for Amelia to stay so it's deadlock. Although the public vote was crazy putting her in the bottom two it was at least a little more sane in putting Craig bottom and so he goes. Phew.
Quite a night. JLS performed their latest single Take A Chance On Me. That sort of reminded us that The Risk aren't really competing at the same level and, however good some of them have been individually, Saturday's performance was not brilliant and, sure enough (but still quite surprisingly for all that), they're the first to go.
That left us with Johnnie and Kitty, Frankie somehow having escaped what everyone had thought was certainly a bottom three position. Johnnie did Unchained Melody. He got the notes right, even the high ones, but it was still not something I can imagine many people rushing out to buy. Nice guy but I can see him doing TV work as a reward for entertaining us and singing a damn sight better than Wagner. Or put him in the jungle? Not Eurovision, though, please!
Kitty was absolutely superb with Kelly Clarkson's Beautiful Disaster and even Louis had to vote to keep her after that, as did everyone else. She looked as if she reckoned that Johnnie had won more hearts out in voting land and I would think that, had there been a 2-2 vote, she may well have gone. Thank goodness some sense seems to have prevailed.
The highlight of the show was surely, however, Florence + The Machine singing Shake It Out. Powerful and still probably echoing around the corridors of the studio as a reminder to the remaining 7 of what a really good performer can do. Amazing.
As I'm late publishing this, I can add today's news that Frankie has left too!! So we're down to the last six. What once appeared to be Janet's cruise to the final is now very open indeed. Since her early wonderful performances she's had some poor weeks and Marcus, Misha and even Kitty have shown a real sense of understanding what they need to do to win. I can even see Li'l Mix reaching the final. Craig seems to have bundles of support too and would be my choice for the natural next to go but it really does now all depend on each weeks' performances and that crucial factor - song choice.
Dermot welcomes us to Week 5 and announces 'Brace yourselves!' which he wouldn't have done on the USA version. This was a curious night. It didn't start at all well with several people distinctly uncomfortable with 'Club Night' whatever that meant. and that made uncomfortable viewing, especially if you had a bundle on Janet winning.
Johnny ♫ 8½ ☼ 7
The crowd love this fellow who this time switched the helium on and off and you had to check it was still him singing. You Spin Me Round he did in some ways better than Dead Or Alive, although that's not saying a great deal to be honest. It was just a bit of fun but (1) he did hit the right notes and (2) the audience love him so goodness knows what'll happen. He ought to go in a double eviction but I'm not so sure. There were some surprisingly much weaker performances tonight.
Janet ♫ 9 ☼ 4 I Want You back may well be what all her fans are calling out after this very uncomfortable track. She even forgot some words but recovered professionally and got away with that. Her hair and general look didn't work either and I feel she's totally lost that first image of a star in the making that we all had at the start. No-one's going to buy that as a single. She is very likely to be in the bottom three this week and is vulnerable. Much depends who she's up against if the judges have to choose.
Craig ♫ 7½ ☼ 5 We're In Heaven he sang but we weren't as we watched another good singer who can't dance and sing at the same time. Or shouldn't dance anyway. He missed notes tonight and just looked flabby and silly. Not a pretty sight at all. He may have a marginally greater appeal tonight, though, than Janet and should scrape through. He'd be likely to win a judges' vote against most of the other likely candidates too.
The Risk ♫ 6½ ☼ 7 A Night To Remember. No, a disappointing night as the show dips to lower levels further. The lead is good and really should have been told to stay as the lead and leave the others to do the oo-oos. When he switched to one of the others it went seriously wrong. They could do so much better and you can't forgive them like you can Janet and Craig. They're a pretty popular group of lads, though, amongst voters and I don't see SYCO letting it descend to just the one group just yet so we can assume they'll be here next week.
Marcus ♫ 10 ☼9
Very nearly full marks for Marcus, possibly as much out of relief that the show sprung to life as for anything else. He did an excellent rendition of Jackie Wilson's Reet Petite. A good song choice for him - he enjoyed himself, was natural and absolutely spot-on with the notes, the moves, the lot. Comparing him to the other Marcus, Marcus Canty on X Factor USA, he would have blown that one out of the pond this week.
Kitty ♫ 10 ☼ 7 Like A Prayer. Kitty does Madonna. And does Madonna very well with an excellent vocal and plenty of drama on the stage. She does have a strange facial expression, especially annoying around the eyes and the cheek lines (which maybe due to the botox she admitted to using on XtraFactor). For all that, she doesn't deserve to go this week and I feel the public are actually beginning to warm to her. The judges, oddly, weren't, with Kelly and Louis having a right go at each other over her.
Frankie ♫ 7 ☼ 4 I've Got A Feeling Frankie's going to go tonight if all the polls and papers and boos from the audience are to be believed. As it happens the polls were wrong last week and so were the papers this week, at least about the 'blonde' story at any rate. So it's down to whether he's got a chance of surviving. This performance wasn't at all bad and probably the first reasonably modern interpretation all night. But the judges were dreadfully bad about him, Louis leading the charge and some bad telly with Gary and him arguing. He looked a bit lazy but then I bet Mick Jagger did when he was that age. Because it is highly likely that he'll be in the bottom three and, if he doesn't get the bottom score, he'll be in a vote-off and I can't think of anyone they'll keep against him, I'm afraid he must be on his way out.
Misha B ♫ 9 ☼ 8 Proud Mary was a good number and helped her recover a lot of lost ground from her appearance and attitude last week. She is a great singer, no doubt, and seemed very natural and comfortable on the stage. She also looked much more friendly with good hair and less brutal clothes. Despite her big voice and presence, though, there were times when she was lost behind the backing track. She'll be safely through to next week so she'll not be worrying about that.
Little Mix ♫ 9 ☼ 9 Please Don't Stop The Music they sang and danced and generally impressed everyone. A good, tight, well-rehearsed performance and probably only the second tonight to sound particularly modern. A sure-fire act through to next week. That, of course, makes it tougher by far for the others! I do think they should change their name (again) to L'ilMix, as that's what everyone is going to call them. Sounds cooler, too.
This is the show in which three pretty girls ask Simon Cowell "Help, be mine tomorrow, touch me now"while one can't get no satisfaction either. As he says at the end, "It's going to get hard.."
Enrique Iglesias, Rihanna and some guy called Pharrell join the other judges to help them decide which of the 32 remaining acts make the 16 to appear in the Live Shows. Mariah Carey should also have joined Simon but rain stopped her play or plane for this first part of the next round.
I lost count of the number of times we get told who was going where and with whom. If you don't know you'll find out soon enough. Suffice it to say we're talking about grand, really impressive sets in glorious sunshine except for Paula's Place where it looked like it was a typical English rainy afternoon in October and as drab as anything compared to the picture perfect scenes that Simon and Nicole had created.
The girls rushed to clutch Simon as he entered and, with some teenagers made up to the extent that they were looking like they could have been in the Over 30s group, the scene was slightly uncomfortable viewing, especially the bit where Caitlin Koch, who didn't do the run and scream and grab bit, realises she does need to compete and attempts to give as many as she can a group hug from behind. Maybe she thought she was in a rugby scrum.
Little Brian B was first up at LA Reid's place. You have to be impressed with this kid. He's got piles of words and awkward rhythms to remember and just gets everything right in his way and in his style. He is a complete, marketable package and is bound to get some deal from someone soon. He'll be good TV for a while too so is pretty much a certainty for the Live Shows now. Not a winner but he'll be there for a few weeks. Until the round where they have to sing, that is. And can you really imagine him doing the synchronised dance number in matching tops that they're bound to introduce the Live Shows with? No. Still, the clips of him getting stroppy during rehearsals should be amusing.
Simone appears with even longer legs than I remembered and moves gracefully down the immaculate decking next to a mirror-like pool. Any shot of that scene would make nice desktop wallpaper and, whatever happens she'll surely have a calendar full of really nice photos to take home and send to her friends at Christmas. Performance-wise, Simone's been unimpressive so far. She's here because Simon likes her and, with just young lads around for advice, you get the feeling she'll get through somehow. She does have more than a passing resemblance to Sinita too, which will help. "You look fantastic," says Simon, something I just don't reckon he'd have started with had Mariah been there. She does a nice version of the Beatles' Help, restrained and thoughtfully presented. A safe audition and if she's on the Live Shows you have to wonder at whose expense? Now that's the question.
First of the groups is The Anser. Nice harmonies, great singers but not sure where they'd fit in commercially these days. They have talent but how memorable are they going to be? Hmmm. I can't remember what they did and it was only a few minutes ago.
Dexter seems to have got through largely on personality and being occasionally different enough to stand out. He's made good TV so far with a lot of after performance emotion and Jagger moves and James Brownesque bursts of delivery. He's a natural entertainer, fun and lovable. Who would have expected him to attempt a classic Beyonce track? Plenty of props to the guy for that - and he wowed Nicole on the beach in a scene he couldn't have imagined in his wildest dreams a few months back. There's always an odd act or two that gets into the Live Shows in the UK and he could be one if Simon's going to follow the same plan. Paula will be batting for him too so I reckon Nicole will be getting a few calls to help her with the decision.
Skyelor is one of the weaker acts to make it this far. A nice guy and, yes, nice voice and he even threw in a nod towards the country vote but I see him in a group rather than a solo success. Ah, too late for the groups - unless they change InTENsity to InELEVENsity. Having said that, I can't imagine ten kids staying together for long so he might still get a chance. He's probably due for the tearful "Sorry I have to let you go" shots in part 2 or 3.
Tora, on the other hand, is a strong contender. Once we get past the annoyingly obviously set-up shots of her with a spanner under a car, leaning into the engine bay with a low cut top and tight shorts, Sir Mick features once again as she hits Simon with Satisfaction. An awkward start but then she gets going and she'd be an exciting addition to the Live Shows. Rock Chick needed. She'd fit that bill nicely. Pity about the tattoos though. Her dancing seemed out of sync with her singing - or at least with the track we heard which did make me wonder how much re-editing there'd been. The sound quality at all the scenes seemed amazingly good for open air performances. In the UK X Factor Judges' Houses shows it was really poor. Here we're getting decent lengths of tracks too and much better viewing all round. I'll not criticise the editing although I'm sure some will, especially after the autotune problems of the past!
Lakoda Rayne perform for the first time for us. Four girls who didn't make the solo categories but each with talent and, of course, looking great too. We even get a caption to say "Cari's House" where they rehearsed initially and, by the looks of it, the prize money might not make that much of a difference to her family finances. I accidentally ran their performance twice which was just as well for this review as I just didn't get it first time round. They seemed more like four girls doing their own thing, doing it competently but not exactly inspiring anyone. Second time round it clicked. They're actually very good. there's tension in there and I can't imagine them all getting on that well off camera and they'll never win but they do have appeal and clever management and song choice might get them through.
Stacy gets a much improved appearance with the makeover, although the mouth still troubles me. What comes out of it does too when she starts screeching the long high notes. If she could stop doing that then people will love her because otherwise she is one brilliant performer, confidently and expertly presenting Purple Rain with a version Prince would have been proud of. The notes were all spot on and she's got that presence already that says she's going to get somewhere. Stacy's a sure-fire Live Show act and we'll be seeing her on screen for a good many weeks yet. Enrique Iglesias made the quote of the evening with "I think the neighbours heard that!" (Cue horizon shot and not another property in sight!)
The Brewer Boys - another act that had virtually no screen time before. I guess they were too busy playing computer games. Once you stopped wondering what kids Roy Orbison and Bob Dylan might have had together and could concentrate on their performance you got the impression that here's an act that you could just say "Hey, kids, go and entertain people," and they'd do it. Really accomplished. Geeky dancing that wouldn't have been out of place in a Footloose movie but, strangely, it didn't seem to matter. They were doing this as if it was in their own back yard. They have to be in the Live Shows. Pharrell didn't get it but I think Paula did.
Phillip Lomax has stayed under the wire so far and neither got the big write-ups or the embarrassing put-downs either. You had to have some respect for the guy doing a Rihanna number whilst she-with-the-big-forehead sat there a few feet away. Some challenge but he took it and brought yet another quite unique style to the show with his Brat Pack 50s style and good looks. A good job done here and I'd love to see him make it but he'll need five of the other boys to be less impressive. A difficult time ahead as I couldn't call it as to whether he gets through or not.
Elaine G does an Oasis track, and does it confidently and almost immaculately. Maybe too perfectly, I wonder? She is very professional but she has Stacy to compete with and I don't see both of them getting through. I wonder what she'd have done with Purple Rain? That would have been interesting. As she finished on the predictably annoying big high note the scene panned back as if the camera guy had been blown away, literally rather than being that impressed! Or both, I suppose, as she was pretty damn good.
Back to Simon's pad - and it's interesting that the places are called Judges' Homes in X Factor USA as opposed to Judges' Houses in X Factor UK. I suppose you folks get to see the actual places they live whereas UK contestants are flown off to what look more like hotels in foreign lands (or a small holding in Ireland for Louis Walsh's unfortunate guys in the past). Caitlin graces our screens and we're reminded that she's a 'Cook' not a 'Cock' once more. She's obviously realised that Sinita, I mean Simone, has made all the moves so far and asked for "Help" from the boss so she tops that completely by looking him straight in the eye and gently singing "Tonight you're mine..." Completely. Once you got over wondering what on earth must have flashed across Simon's mind at that point you'd hear a beautiful version of this 60s number. Every note and intonation spot on. Why hasn't this girl already been taken on by someone? In a way, it may be too late for her as she lacks that modern edge that would make her stand out. Or she could have lied about her age and not been out of place in the Over 30s where she would have stood a better chance of getting through. She's another excellent act who will be on the margins of coming or going in the next shows and, strong though she looks, tears could well fall. Steve, brace yourself.
Nick Voss next. I keep hearing Elvis which I suppose could be regarded as cool nowadays rather than just an impression act but I just don't see how he'll fit in to the Live Shows where he'll be told to do something else. Sometimes he looks and sounds very good and then sometimes he looks and sounds plain wrong. Had he stayed in character all the way through his track then it might have been better but switching from the 50s to 70s style actions served only to confuse us all, not least Rihanna.
Quite how Steve Jones managed to get from one part of the world to another in such a short time I do not know and perhaps the editing team could at least make sure he wears the same things for the sake of continuity if nothing else. Sun up, sun down, rain - and they say the English have crazy weather. Thereagain he is Welsh, and that might explain a lot.
4Shore are the band with the silly name but they can sing and sing well, naturally together and they've flown through the rounds so far. They may have come to a halt here though, without LA Reid on their side. They get a poor song and just didn't make any lasting impression other than memories of something like The Four Tops in red. They know what they're doing and deserve another chance to get through but are probably up against the StereoHogzz for the one place to fill with their style.
James Kenney is another act that has escaped a lot of the cameras to date. he reminds me of David Cook and might have stood a good chance in that year's American Idol. Here, today, 2011? I don't know. He's a solid, reliable performer but will he sell records? I say that we've hardly seen this guy so far but maybe we have and just haven't remembered him as much as the others. And that could be his problem. If he does scrape through then good luck to him and it would be good to see more of an earthy rock element too from someone not bordering on 50. Nice guy, though.
The first part of the Judges' Homes edition ends with Drew. This is a fabulous way to leave us wanting more. In a stunning scene this 14 year old going on 24 year old absolutely shows how it should be done. A standout audition so far and watch the download figures for this clip on YouTube. Amazing. But... "It's going to get hard," says Simon afterwards, ominously.
Now what he could do instead is put Drew with Janet Devlin from X Factor UK and there he would have a guaranteed Christmas No 1 Album across both continents. Neither need win their respective competitions to make their money and leave the show clear for someone else to have a chance.
Again, something we missed last night that deserves a replay. Whatever you may think about these guys looking like that and doing a Rihanna number, this is another classy act in the rain. Why couldn't the UK find a pair like this?
After all the excitement and rumours all this has been about is the removal of 4 acts on Saturday's first Live Show. One from each group will be sent home. Quite frankly, that should be a pretty simple task for Louis. A bit tougher for the others, especially Tulisa who has only just managed to remember who is now in which group and I am still expecting them to get muddled up on the night.
Anyway, that's it. Official breathless wow announcement can be read here.
Something in the water in Miami seems to have given everyone some excessive self-belief. We started with Ashley who even said that she inspired herself but that doesn't say a great deal about how she felt beforehand. The view of the judges' panel seemed to show that Paula had shrunk and Simon had grown which tended to help take one's mind off the family collecting the first performer as she was sent off with four Nos. "Was my performance that bad?" she asked. Interestingly, there was no answer.
The nightmare continued with Chanel who was awful, Kanan Road who were lost somewhere along the way and the bad Dream Girlz themselves and clips of adoring parents or friends saying how great their children or relatives were and confirmed how misguided they all were themselves.
Nicole still hadn't actually said anything on the show until after the sixth act and two ad breaks. Paula was getting tinier by the minute and LA had the look of someone who had applied for a top chauffeur's job and been given a Citroën 2CV. Gloria Estefan tried to rescue Miami's image, which was rapidly descending into the mire, by appearing briefly high up in some seats somewhere but didn't quite have the same effect as Lady Gaga had had last year when singing On the Edge from a similar height on American Idol.
Caitlyn Curtis arrives on stage. I love LA's expression as he says "How old are you? Sixteen? Wow, really?!" thinking that she looked 26. Caitlyn did Taylor Swift and I could see Simon putting her through and then maybe adding her in to one of those manufactured groups that usually get put together for the live shows. However, they didn't like her and we got the real Taylor as background to her departure which was just a little harsh but there you go and there she went.
Nick Voss had one of those big build-ups before an ad break so you kinda knew he'd be OK, especially as there were prepared clips with his parents names subtitled as well. "The next contestant's going to have it hard." says LA. The Equal Opportunities Commission would have been on the phone to sack him immediately in this country. The guy does an animated version of Trouble and Paula shows just why she's so good as a judge with some spot-on advice and comments. Looking at yet another desperate mother shot, though, I can well understand why X Factor UK host Dermot O'Leary is happy to leave the job to the Welshman.
Finally, the producers must have decided that they'd annoyed viewers sufficiently and brought on 2 Squar'd - OK but nothing special, Kendra - tinny at times, Brendan - pleasant chap and much needed in the Over 30s category, someone else who sounded like Joe McElderry (X Factor UK winner 2008) that other boys will like in bootcamp and finally we get someone really good. In fact, really very good. Melanie Amaro was one of the best voices I've heard in a competition for a while. (I honestly did write that before Paula said it!) She gets a standing ovation from all four judges and she'll be in the finals.
From Miami we go to Dallas and expectations were high. "I just love raisin' long horn" isn't the sort of thing you can say on the UK version of the show, though. We saw plenty of low-voiced, laid back guys in big hats and jeans and Dylan in a strange baseball cap. I guess they don't have mirrors out on the ranches. He was pathetic.
Wesley was almost as bad and you could see the production team's work again - give us a load of crap for twenty minutes and then slowly bring us up to some good stuff before the end. Michael and Michelle looked downright ridiculous and Curtis Lawson made us all wonder whether Ashley Deckard had brought the ghosts up from Miami to Dallas, being totally out of this world but not in a good way.
The weep-and-then-feel-good bit came at last with Dexter. Starting with a reasonable James Brown tribute you could see he was going to get through but we'd have the 'Try something else' bit from Simon before he did. He could be another much-needed addition to the Over 30s.
A couple more acts whizzed across the scene and thanked everyone profusely for putting them through but I have no idea why. Caitlyn Koch pronounced her name very clearly as Cook and proceeded to head us closer to the end of the show with a second Wow Factor with an original and immaculate version of Stop In The Name Of Love and it was difficult to tell whether it was that or her looks which blew Simon away. She'll be around for a good time too.
There was a chap called Storm on the UK show last year who Simon insisted on calling Lee and it all got a bit embarrassing. Same again tonight with Zander who really did not want to be called Alexander and, despite the contestant's attitude, Simon's insistence did get a bit tedious after a while. For all that, Zander had a decent voice and, whilst he doesn't stand a chance against two or three of the acts we've seen so far, he deserved the bootcamp place and support they all gave him in the end.
Looking at how massive the queues and crowds have been for these auditions we can surely only be seeing a tiny proportion of who is actually getting through. If Simon doesn't put a fourth Cease and Desist Notice on X Factor Updates' site or tweets as @tvcritics then we'll probably find out soon who actually does make it to the Judges' Houses section. That's when it gets interesting. For now, though, it's entertainment and we do have to remember that one of these people is going to be $5 million better off by Christmas. Have we already seen her, I wonder?
So Simon was appeased towards them, and fought no more against them but put them out of the city, and cleansed the houses wherein the idols were and so entered into it with songs and thanksgiving.
Well, that just about sums it up nicely. You may not be familiar with the Book of Maccabees in the Bible Apochrypha but you will have heard of Simon, as in Cowell, who has brought X Factor across the Atlantic to the good people of the United States of America.
It all kicked off in a fine, well-edited style this week - something that won't be quite so easy to organise, sorry, organize, when we get to the live shows.
The man himself appeared with one of the world's fastest and most expensive cars, in black of course, after a strange clip of a Welshman driving a truck across a golden prairie so strongly reminiscent of the Coke Christmas ads that I'm surprised Pepsi haven't demanded equal billing. La Reid and Cheryl Cole were given suitably massive build-ups with reference to millions of sales and artists galore. The fourth judge, Paula, stolen from early Idol panels, was 'someone who had had some hits in the past too'. We all love her, though, and just know she'll be everyone's favourite and is well-equipped to handle Simon should he need restraint.
Rachel Crowe was first on the stage to audition and an excellent choice by the producers. (It took a moment to get over the shot of her little sister stuffing a massive slice of pizza into her mouth, though.) In fact she could have been auditioning as a comedy act on America's Got Talent. She sang Mercy pretty well, although it was slightly worrying watching a 13 year-old wagging a finger at LA Reid and singing about being down on her knees. A pretty cool opening performance for all that and she'll be through to a future show or two, maybe further, if only because she'll also make good TV.
Terrell Carter represented the good looking guy in his late twenties group and impressed Cheryl with his package but not me that much, wobbling around the track and not an obvious No 1 act for Christmas in my book.
Ellona followed for the feisty girl section, trying far too hard and way OTT. Instantly forgettable. Er... who was she?
A young kid called John arrives and sounds pretty groovy for a young kid named John. He could be a contender but we only got a short burst to judge by.
Now here's the wacky section - one amazing dancer and Prince-like singer called Simonze could be worth a second look, combining Adam Lambert with a Circus Act with a bit of Alien thrown in for good measure. Then the fun, or tedium, depending on your view, continued with two old people wailing unrighteously through some completely unhinged melody. Oh dear. Add two idiot youngsters, a tuneless teen with bad attitude and that's more or less the complete X Factor set covered for anyone new to the way the show goes.
A pair of red hot pants appears and you just know that we're back on relatively normal territory again and, sure enough, Simone looks and sings well enough to get everyone except LA on board.
Now, there was a category missing: I'd forgotten the long back story, girl in tears, opportunities missed one. Stacy Francis fitted that slot nicely and put on what could be the best of the first show. She impressed Simon to the extent that he seemed to forget Leona Lewis's audition a few years back and declared Stacy's the best he'd ever heard. Maybe the wailing and uncontrolled screeching near the end didn't sound so bad there as it did through my speakers. The dog next door didn't think much of it either. Still, she'll be through to a few more shows, I reckon.
Silly bloke in silver suit was just boring. Quite what they saw when he dropped the chav trousers (sorry, pants) I have no idea but it made Paula sick. Oddly, they still proceeded to vote with LA Reid alone suggesting that he gets thrown out, something I would have done before he even came on in the first place. As the guy was clearly incapable of singing and just there to make a name for himself I shall not bother to write more. If I'd been putting this programme together then we'd never have seen what Paula saw at all. No bad thing, 'Too late', as Ray Stevens would have said.
Darlene came and went. Marcus looks like a real star - possibly one of two from the whole evening who'll get to the finals - and delivered one excellent Stevie Wonder track and wowed the place big time. Cheryl has now disappeared and Nicole did the dancing with Paula as Marcus looked on suitably pleased with himself and probably more than a little surprised.
In the second half, The Anser (sic) brought a great group act on to the stage with the firstRolling In The Deep cover of what were probably many the judges had had to sit through and mercifully didn't get through to the broadcast. I admire Adele but there are limits. In between countless obligatory references to Nicole's birthday this was a trio that clearly had rehearsed and knew what they were doing. We'll certainly see more of them and, as the subtitles here in the UK showed us Brits, Paula whispered to Nicole that the girls will like that one (that one with the woolly hat and exceedingly white teeth).
Unbelievably long and totally irelevant (or, at least, I hope so) ads for a DIY store both preceded and followed The Anser to help pay for the Bugatti Veyron shot. I would, though, have preferred another load of adverts to the girl who gave us a record six 'No's (four from the judges and two she provided herself, albeit with a couple of question and several exclamation marks) and a couple more forgettable weird acts. Chris delivered the Don't Do Drugs bit then really impressed us with an original bit of work and I fell off the chair laughing at the LA Reidseat slide dance and the expression on his face. Nice job. Not sure what Chris'll do in the Let's sing-a-long-with-Abba round or how they'll get him to perform the bland intro and dance around tracks in white suits à la Idol but he sounded like a star and will be around for a while for sure.
So we've now seen this year's X Factor winner. Whether it was after a long, drawn-out weepy back story intro or a brief glimpse of Louis leaning forward with his chin virtually on the desk and grinning "Yes" as whoever that was who was flashed before our eyes is yet to be seen.
Another weird show that I can only imagine was put together by some new guy recruited from BGT or deliberately promoted above his level of competence by Simon Cowell anxious to ensure that his X Factor USA compares well when it is aired here on Thursday. A couple of guys performed well and the far better Xtra Factor showed us a girl who apparently has only sung in a bingo hall before who would have fared well if she didn't find herself up against Misha, Janet and Amelia at bootcamp.
The boys seem an odd assortment this year but the ones we liked best may well finish up with some of the girls in manufactured boy and girl bands. And, hey, where the hell were the groups this year? Knowing who seems to have made it through, I fear we're in for a dire time in that department unless the manufacturers have done as good a job as they did with Wand Erection, which I guess is possible but unlikely to provide a winner.
Kitty in the over 25s should survive for a good while if she can regain some love from the public by calming down a bit on the announcements of how great she is. Otherwise she'll go the way of Katie W last year but hopefully give us some good TV moments until she's voted out.
So it's the year of the girls for my money and Dermot will be so pleased to be up on the main stage and well away from the anxious parents and what I suspect will be tears, tears and yet more tears during bootcamp and, worse, the final cut at judges' houses. Get yourselves ready for some heart-wrenching viewing at that stage. Bootcamp will be what bootcamp is - a farce as people try to form groups with people they hardly know and deliver tracks they may well have little interest in but have to do something with to get through. I feel so sorry for anyone with a really individual talent and style who'll have to choose between going with the flow and hoping they get selected regardless of what their new temporary 'group' does and attempting to stand out and getting panned for being inconsiderate or not 'working with the team'.
My guess, though, is that the judges already have a pretty good idea of who they want in the live shows - well, they have actually already decided but I mean in TV time as we see it - and it's largely a matter of who they'll put into those groups that needs to be decided. The next couple of weeks will not be a pretty sight but, of course, it will be unmissable TV and I'll be getting into trouble by writing exactly what I think again.
Check out XFNow.org and AINow.org by the way, over coming weeks as I've been invited to contribute to their news which should be fun and get me into even more trouble! Yes, Simon, I have been warned. and so has @kirrisdad.
Let's start with some good news - xfactor-updates.com has got the @xfactorupdates Twitter account back so something is reasonably right with the world. That's about all, though, as tonight's X Factor show just dragged. A long-winded intro can't exactly have pleased Welsh viewers and we then had to sit through 40 minutes of assorted rubbish shown in full whilst potential live show contestant Melanie appeared and disappeared.
A couple of Johnnies - some Maths guy (who, interestingly, came with young Louis Tomlinson from 1Direction but we had to watch Xtra Factor for that bit of gossip) and a reject from last year who's had a make-over but really desperately needs another that does more than glue his hat - could sing but haven't a hope of getting far.
Dermot O'Leary was conspicuous by his absence, featuring almost solely in a ghastly-looking hug from a fat Essex woman with remarkably straw-like hair. I genuinely felt sorry for him until I saw his tweet from somewhere hundreds of miles away to say that something had fallen on his head. Yes, these are all recorded shows from the summer (remember the summer?) and he's currently concluding the rounds of the judges' houses.
The hug was even more annoying because it came after a couple of heavily spray-tanned Essex girls had been put through to bootcamp (and, I'm afraid, potentially far further). Called 2Shoes, I shall have to think of a suitably amusing and offensive alternative for future weeks as, whilst they could sort of perform reasonably, no self-respecting store or web site will want their pictures displayed within a mile of their front windows or home pages. There are some dodgy acts heading towards our live screens and I really do hope they're not around for long unless that tan gets washed off on Mykonos.
Talking of Mykonos, that's where Tulisa took the groups and then appears to have got really cross that some of the boys and girls, or maybe even boys and boys, decided to, er, practice together at night. Rumour has it than she's even just axed one or two groups for doing what comes naturally. And I thought N-Dubz were pretty much a cool group and Tulisa, of all the judges, would have been the least prissy.
The same rumour has Kelly Rowland banning drink, tobacco and goodness knows what else amongst the girls. How on earth potential stars can conceivably cope with the pressure of being in the last eight in the category, with a 50-50 chance of reaching the live finals and all the fun and cash that that brings as opposed to probably never being heard of again for at least a year without participating in at least one or two nerve-calming bad habits amazes me and all credit to any that survive.
With Gary Barlow stuck somewhere with what looks like a very tedious bunch who probably wouldn't say boo to a goose let alone goo to some booze it could well be that Louis might have the most fun group after all. OK, maybe not.
Anyway, none of this is really what tonight was all about. Basically X Factor was rubbish but Olly and the delightful Caroline, or their producers, turned things around with an excellent Xtra Factor on ITV2. Simon Cowell wandered on and into camera view, chewing on something and looking as if he wished he'd spat it out before being given a bundle of questions to answer on a sofa. He may have been a bit concerned as to how screening both X Factor UK and X Factor USA would fare and the extent to which, especially come AI11 in a week or two as well, we'll reach a point of total domination of reality music competitions on the airwaves. Boy, I shall certainly have my work cut out.
A couple of other groups were shown - Boy V Girl and Brooklyn. Boy V Girl were plain odd, like a couple of cartoon characters. The girl was really pretty, though, and could sing. Not sure about the bloke but they had more going for them than that mushy duo from a year or two back so may be worth watching. Brooklyn looked like cool guys and there aren't many around at the moment, The Keys being a bit serious-sounding. Having said that, we've seen so little of any groups to date whatever happens there is bound to be a surprise. Indeed, we'll probably know who are in the final before actually hearing them for more than 10 seconds at the rate things are moving.
Tomorrow sees the end of the auditions and, quite frankly, that'll be a relief this year. Still, I live in hope and will attempt to tease out some semblance of a live pack afterwards. Take a look at the photos on the show link above - they'll get updated regularly until we finally know who's through.
I miss Top of The Pops. I don't particularly miss the music and certainly not the amateur DJs of the later years but it was nice to know what was in the charts and to get some idea of who the artists were, how good they were at miming and what sort of outlay their record company had put into the promotional videos.
Now, until today, I have had no idea of who or what comprised the best selling singles, apart from the obvious ones and the occasional track that made it across the Great Divide to Radio 2. I find Radio 1 virtually impossible to listen to at the best of times so that doesn't help. But today I found a chart programme on ITV7 or something way down the digital guide and actually discovered what all those mysterious names were. I even recognised quite a few. But what an extraordinary list it has become! The majority were so-and-so Ft so-and-so. Lots of female singers and lots of black or pretty brown guys. Big expensive cars, with the guys as walking ads for Nike or whatever the latest brand to be seen in is. The guys strutted around in black suits or something expensive-looking and were invariably in a club with an abundance of expensively barely clad girls who worshipped them regardless of how ugly they might have been. Shades appear to be essential these days for black men, probably to hide the bags under their bloodshot eyes.
Where are the groups? JLS, that's where. Just one group and even they were ft-ing someone Tiny. Every girl, with the possible exception of Adele was really pretty and damn near immaculate as well as quite frightening. The guys were mostly a bit boring. Oh, I forgot The Black Eyed Peas. They're still going and the girl was OK although still pretty unclothed and the guys were doing their thing like the rest.
I was just thinking to myself how wrong all the bling and immaculate bodies must be as a guide for today's teenagers and how little I could actually do about it. So many of the angry girls' tracks were about how immaculate their man would have to be and you got the distinct impression that not only can't white men dance but they can't sell records either and probably don't have much chance of appealing to Rihanna, Kei$ha, Beyonce and friends either unless they come equipped with the requisite six-pack, gym membership and attitude reminscent of the old ex-Majors in Africa towards their worker slaves. Brains probably needn't apply. As I said, I was just thinking when I struck on a track by Pink and then another, now at Number 1 on the charts, Jessie J.
Pink's track is titled Perfect. It's about how you don't have to look right to be perfect. Brilliant. A wonderful antidote to the Mercedes with blacked-out windows. Then Jessie J trumps everyone with a great number basically taking the piss out of labels and everyone spending a fortune worrying about their outfits, tan or whether they look angry enough today.
So there is hope! Add Enrique Iglesias to the mix at 9 and some fun people called the Dragonettes singing Hello at 20 and a couple of really very well-written tracks by Bruno Mars and life does look a bit more bearable. I guess the chart really doesn't matter that much any more. I am just still amazed at how they're so inundated by solo artists.
Listening to all this made me realise why I enjoy X Factor and American Idol so much. They're more shows for me than they are for the track-buying kids. A few will land in the charts for a while but they really don't make much of a dent. And why I got so many blank faces when I thought I was being cool at College by talking about the various programmes in class - only one or two had the faintest idea of what I was talking about.
Despite all the above, well most of it, I have to say that whoever writes and produces tracks for Rihanna, Bruno, Kei$ha and the rest, with the notable exception of Wretch32, do a great job. They're good and deserve their places in the chart, no question. Yes, I'd prefer fat Celo to quit the stupid business of being oh so ruddy hip-sounding by having F*** You as his single title. Yes, I'd rather my kids didn't have to grow up wondering how on earth they'll ever meet the high standards of body perfection and sexual performance that the angry black and brown girls seem to demand and which could trickle down into the brains of the teenies now singing along to the music. But no, it's not bad music. In fact some is extremely good. Let's hope the Jessie J and Pink message gets through. And some real groups.
"Acerbic British music judge and entrepreneur Simon Cowell said on Monday that the winner of the first U.S. version of the television singing competition, The X Factor, will receive a $5 million record deal." [From Reuters, hope they don't mind me quoting. I'd never have thought of the great word acerbic.]
The new talent show on Fox television will start auditions for solo artists and vocal groups aged 12 and above in Los Angeles on March 27 before hosting more auditions in Chicago, Dallas, Miami, New York, New Jersey and Seattle.
Cowell said the winner would receive a record deal with Syco, a joint venture between Sony Music and Cowell, and the same label tied to Scottish singer Susan Boyle.
"We are going to put our money where our mouths are with the $5 million recording contract. I'm doing this show in America because I genuinely believe we can find a superstar," Cowell said in a statement.
I still don't know how he's going to do both shows but rumours abound that he may 'rest' X Factor in the UK this year. Anyway, this is going to be fun, assuming he gets the judges right. Kids of 12 could be a bit precious and worrying and quite how the cute little girl of 12¼'s mother will feel about some hairy bikers' group of rockers sharing the rehearsals dressing room will make some headlines no doubt.
Getting some group acts, though, is a good move and, despite a group never winning in the UK series, the excitement around 1 Direction in 2010 and JLS in 2008 (and, dare I say it, Jedward in between!) added a whole extra dimension that American Idol lacks. Add the ingredient of a behind the scenes or after the event type show along the lines of The Xtra Factor and it will be a winner for Fox.
One thing that will be intriguing is how many audition rejects from AI will give X Factor a try. I'm thinking those that didn't quite make the Top 12 rather than Pants On The Ground there. It could also be a superb opportunity for some British acts to get some valuable prime time TV spots courtesy of Syco.
Pity about letting oldies in, though. Nothing more tedious than watching really old folk warbling in amongst the young folk who usually look plain embarrassed. America, lock up your grannies. Simon's in town! That sign should be below the Population sign on all roads.
It looks likely that X Factor will kick off in the States in September this year, with Simon Cowell, Piers Morgan and Cheryl Cole rumoured as judges and Dermot O'Leary as host. It'll be interesting to see how the viewers cope with four British instead of home-grown personalities sorting the good from their bad.
Quite what the implications are for three of them, who would also be expected to be leading the next UK show at about the same time too, I can't tell. Whilst the auditions for both shows will be taking place well in advance and can be staggered so that they only appear later to be in one place at the same time, how they handle the live shows in parallel I do not know.
There is a very amateur-looking site at x-factor.org which I can only assume is some guy who managed to buy the name and is now making a few bucks from the ads. I am surprised that Syco haven't already bought him out and, at least, put something decent there even if all it says is 'watch this space' or something.
All this US-UK stuff got me thinking. There has always been talk of this or that British invasion of the US Charts and since the 1960s our top artists usually had a showing there, Cliff Richard excepted. We certainly continue to see plenty US artists in our charts. But just what impact do these shows really have on charts here and there? We all know that for a while now the X Factor winner tends to hit Number 1 at Christmas but just how successful really have the US Pop Idol and X Factor (and previously Pop Idol) finalists been?
In the first list here are the winners in each year and any finalists in the last 10 who seem to have had at least some singles in their own country's Top 100 since.
American Idol
2002 1 Kelly Clarkson
2003 1 Ruben Studdard | 2 Clay Aitken | 3 Kimberley Locke
2004 1 Fantasia | 7 Jennifer Hudson
2005 1 Carrie Underwood
2006 1 Taylor Hicks | 3 Elliot Yarmin | 4 Chris Daughtry | 6 Kellie Pickler
2007 1 Jordin Sparks
2008 1 David Cook | 2 David Archuleta | 4 Brook White
2009 1 Kris Allen | 2 Adam Lambert
2010 1 Lee Dewyze | 2 Crystal Bowersox
X Factor (Pop Idol 2002-3)
2002 1 Will Young | 2 Gareth Gates
2003 1 Michelle McManus
2004 1 Steve Brookstein | 2 G4
2005 1 Shayne Ward | 2 Andy Abraham | 5 Chico
2006 1 Leona Lewis
2007 1 Leon Jackson
2008 1 Alxeandra Burke | 2 JLS | 4 Diana Vickers
2009 1 Joe McElderry | 2 Olly Murs | 3 Stacey Solomon | 4 John & Edward
2010 1 Matt Cardle
Now look at who has actually been selling well since:
US (singles other than their AI winner release with > 1 million sales)
Kelly Clarkson (8)
Carrie Underwood (5)
Jordin Sparks (4)
Daughtry (4)
Adam Lambert
David Archuleta
Kris Allen
Elliot Yarmin
David Cook
Kellie Pickler
And in the UK, who has actually made No 1 (other than with their X Factor single):
Leona Lewis (6)
Alexandra Burke (4)
JLS (4)
Diana Vickers
Olly Murs
Chico
Lastly, who have crossed the Atlantic and succeeded?
Well, Carrie Underwood has been hugely successful internationally in the Country scene but only Kelly Clarkson and Jordin Sparks have had any consistently good sales in the UK. Adam Lambert is probably the only other familiar name here, mainly due to his excellent mentoring on AI9 and maybe the delightful Kellie Pickler mainly as a presenter.
Leona Lewis has been X Factor's only Stateside success to date. JLS and Alexandra Burke may break through this year. Too early to tell for America's Lee DeWyze and Britain's Matt Cardle but I'm not hopeful for either in that respect.
And that's it.
So I do hope that this year all three programmes find some artists to join the few that last and don't fade away after one highly publicised sale. Much depends on the US X Factor team, then!
Farewell Wand Erection. They'll make a fortune sure enough so no worries about their 3rd place. Onto the final Matt v Rebecca.
Matt starts well. I still think his best were in previous shows but there you go.
Rebecca had a massive chance to steal the show with the beautiful Distant Dreamer. Unfortunately nerves seem to have taken over and she missed all sorts of really important notes and opportunities to blow us all away and get people punching the buttons on their mobiles.
To be honest, this is the first Final where I haven't been that bothered. It was Matt, by the way.
