Well that was fun! Eurovision seems to come and go so quickly. After weeks of video clips of national selection shows and rehearsals the actual week seems to fly by.
Denmark led (almost) from the start with just Ukraine and Azerbaijan with any real chance of stopping them taking the show to Copehagen in 2014. Theirs was a professional and confident performance with no gimmicks, unlike the pretty Ukraine girl who had to be carried on stage by some huge guy or the Azerbaijan fellow with an alter ago trapped in a box and some girl with a ridiculously long red dress train doing nothing that seemed relevant to the song.
The Romanian weird opera and Moldavian silly mountain dress may have got them a little attention but not a lot.
Norway and Russia scored consistently and the Top 5 remained those five virtually all the time. It was good to see Malta and Hungary getting good support. For a while it looked as though Malta might even break through!
Sadly, Ireland were bottom and that was not deserved although they voice was a bit tinny and repetitive. Spain and Lithuania joined Finland close to the bottom which was what the betting odds predicted for the first two but not Finland. Spain's performance was not strong and seemed a little nervous, disappointing. Lithuania put on a good track but no-one voted for it.
Bonnie Tyler got UK into about 19th place and earned more points than many had expected but still failed to make much impresssion. Germany's Cascada, however, failed more so and the copy of Loreen's track from last year was not a good idea.
I didn't win thousands but do seem to have got predictions for the Top 5 about right again this year and the winning song deserved its place. Well done, Denmark.
Sunday, May 19, 2013
Saturday, May 18, 2013
My tweets thoughout Eurovision tonight
I think I would prefer this with the Graham Norton turned off and @R2KenBruce instead
Moldova government are watching this and really hoping they don't win as it would cost more than their total defence budget #Eurovision
There goes the first of many white dresses tonight #Eurovision
Some acts are getting more applause for carrying their flag than they'll get for their performance #Eurovision
OK Can we get going now? #Eurovision
France has a great track and powerful performance near the end but unlikely to appeal across Europe. Watch the hands. #Eurovision
This is great. Watch the eyebrows. #Lithuania #Eurovision
I want #Lithuania in the Top 10! Because of my shoes... #Eurovision
#Moldova #Eurovision This is the one with the very silly dress. Quite a good song but, oh dear, that dress
Yes. #Finland First modern tune. Looks good, sounds bonkers. #Eurovision as it should be :) Oh Oh Ding Dong
#Finland's Krista actually quite frightens me #Eurovision
#Spain. My Favourite entry for #Eurovision. Great song. No-one else seems to like it though :\
Love the yellow dress too. #Spain #Eurovison Pity it was a nervous performance.
#Azerbaijan pretty much want to win again #Eurovision Cute boy #1 tonight
Oops, that was #Belgium. Comments the same though
#Estonia with an impressive white dress and a song that you feel sure you've heard before #Eurovision
#Estonia definitely nicking a bit from a previous Denmark tune. Needs a wind machine #Eurovision
#Belarus have a good old 90s #Eurovision entry. And that dress is shorter than in rehearsals.
What on earth at the #Belarus guys wearing? #Eurovision
She in the blue mini will have done a lot for the #Belarus vote
#Malta Yes! We like Jeremy in IT. My tip for an outside chance. Hope it makes Top 10. #Eurovision
I do think the #Malta guy does smile a bit too much though. #Eurovision
#Finland currently have the shortest odds of those who have performed.That'll change now. #Eurovision
#Russia really want to win #Eurovision and trying so hard this year. Excellent singer but it's a little predicatble and not catchy
I need a visa so I shall be very nice about the #Russia song #Eurovision
Cascada for #Germany. Sounds so much like Loreen but not as good. #Eurovision Bit of excitement at least, though.
#Germany are 80-1. Extraordinary. Russia 18-1 #Eurovision.
#Armenia. This is awful, despite the Black Sabbath link. #Eurovision
Armenian government hoping this doesn't win as not enough room to paark all the Russian dignitaries' tanks #Eurovision
#Netherlands #Eurovision entry could be a surprise Top 5
earplugs at the ready for #Romania #Eurovision
There's more nude female #Romania dancers too #Eurovision
OK I lied about the nude female dancers #Romania #Eurovision
Here we go. It's the #UK entry for #Eurovision. I lose money if this wins,
God, she's certainly trying. #UK #Eurovision
UK are now 280-1 on Betfair. #Eurovision
Cute boy #3 for #Sweden. Good song. In fact great song but crap performance #Eurovision
#Sweden recovering and putting a lot in to this #Eurovision. Best entry so far but still 120-1.
Andrew Hill @JudgeNo5
Yes. Hungary's entry is cool. #Eurovision Jeremy without IT. The whistle does it. Top 5 please.
Hungary are at 300-1 if you think this can win #Eurovision
Denmark. This is the one that will win. Excellent track. #Eurovision
Almost another white dress #Eurovision #Denmark
This is the first one I have actually sung along with #Denmark
Bit worried about the golden shower. Bit triumphalist #Eurovision
Iceland have a big ballad. As it is the only ballad they'll get quite a few votes. Also vaguely catchy so possible Top 5 #Eurovision
Cute boy #4 #Azerbaijan in a box and Top 5. They really want to win too. #Eurovision
#Azerbaijan entry reminds me of Davy Jones and a Locker, RIP Davy, #Eurovision
This is horrible. I'm going for a pee. #Greece #Eurovision
#Ukraine another white dress for #Eurovision. Good song. Probably Top 5 again.
You do have to wonder what the big fellow was all about? #Ukraine #Eurovision
Italy putting one of their best guys in #Eurovision. But just a bit boring.
Maybe #Italy should have had a gigantic woman to bring on the guy #Eurovision
Norway predicted to come 2nd in #Eurovision.
That was white dress #5 by the way. She'll do well. #Norway #Eurovision
Oh. Georgia. All a bit too sugary. And white dress #6. This gets worse each time you hear it. Top 10 tonight though #Eurovision
Georgia giving themselves a golden shower too. Rubbish coreography, #Eurovision but they'll still do well
Ireland could surprise people with this. Cute boy #5. Commercial track. Bit tinny but an alternative to Denmark and Norway #Eurovision
Phew Ireland finished just in time. It was getting boring. #Eurovision
So who will break the Denmark Norway Ukraine Russia 1 - 4 group? Bookies say no-one else even close #Eurovision
#Russia really want to win #Eurovision and trying so hard this year. Excellent singer but it's a little predicatble and not catchy
I need a visa so I shall be very nice about the #Russia song #Eurovision
Cascada for #Germany. Sounds so much like Loreen but not as good. #Eurovision Bit of excitement at least, though.
#Germany are 80-1. Extraordinary. Russia 18-1 #Eurovision.
#Armenia. This is awful, despite the Black Sabbath link. #Eurovision
Armenian government hoping this doesn't win as not enough room to paark all the Russian dignitaries' tanks #Eurovision
#Netherlands #Eurovision entry could be a surprise Top 5
earplugs at the ready for #Romania #Eurovision
There's more nude female #Romania dancers too #Eurovision
OK I lied about the nude female dancers #Romania #Eurovision
Here we go. It's the #UK entry for #Eurovision. I lose money if this wins,
God, she's certainly trying. #UK #Eurovision
UK are now 280-1 on Betfair. #Eurovision
Cute boy #3 for #Sweden. Good song. In fact great song but crap performance #Eurovision
#Sweden recovering and putting a lot in to this #Eurovision. Best entry so far but still 120-1.
Andrew Hill @JudgeNo5
Yes. Hungary's entry is cool. #Eurovision Jeremy without IT. The whistle does it. Top 5 please.
Hungary are at 300-1 if you think this can win #Eurovision
Denmark. This is the one that will win. Excellent track. #Eurovision
Almost another white dress #Eurovision #Denmark
This is the first one I have actually sung along with #Denmark
Bit worried about the golden shower. Bit triumphalist #Eurovision
Iceland have a big ballad. As it is the only ballad they'll get quite a few votes. Also vaguely catchy so possible Top 5 #Eurovision
Cute boy #4 #Azerbaijan in a box and Top 5. They really want to win too. #Eurovision
#Azerbaijan entry reminds me of Davy Jones and a Locker, RIP Davy, #Eurovision
This is horrible. I'm going for a pee. #Greece #Eurovision
#Ukraine another white dress for #Eurovision. Good song. Probably Top 5 again.
You do have to wonder what the big fellow was all about? #Ukraine #Eurovision
Italy putting one of their best guys in #Eurovision. But just a bit boring.
Maybe #Italy should have had a gigantic woman to bring on the guy #Eurovision
Norway predicted to come 2nd in #Eurovision.
That was white dress #5 by the way. She'll do well. #Norway #Eurovision
Oh. Georgia. All a bit too sugary. And white dress #6. This gets worse each time you hear it. Top 10 tonight though #Eurovision
Georgia giving themselves a golden shower too. Rubbish coreography, #Eurovision but they'll still do well
Ireland could surprise people with this. Cute boy #5. Commercial track. Bit tinny but an alternative to Denmark and Norway #Eurovision
Phew Ireland finished just in time. It was getting boring. #Eurovision
So who will break the Denmark Norway Ukraine Russia 1 - 4 group? Bookies say no-one else even close #Eurovision
Friday, May 17, 2013
The finalists
It all happens Saturday night and here are my very brief thoughts on the chances of the 20 who have made it through to - and the 6 automatically qualifying for - the Finals.
{The numbers are the amounts you could win for betting 1 for each act to win.}
Armenia 760
A dreadful noise. 70s style rock and moustaches, no chance. Goodbye. Who the hell voted them in??
Azerbaijan 19
They want to win again so there's a cute guy and a box and this will appeal to gay voters as well as straight. A possible winner and certain Top 10, probably Top 5.
Belarus 390
Cheerful Eurocrap which would do better if it wasn't for the fact that several countries don't like Belarus much at the moment. Normally Top 5 but may struggle to reach Top 10 this time.
Belgium 450
Another cute boy. Cute song. Instantly forgettable though. Stick to making chocolate, folks.
Denmark 1.8
This is the year they either win or come close to winning yet again with an excellent song. We could be in Copenhagen in 2014.
Estonia 590
Beautiful girl in a big white dress. Some fine moments in this song and it might just inspire voters across the board and get enough 6s and 7s to stand a chance. Possible Top 5.
Finland 65
Yes, this is great fun. It's the Oh Oh Ding Dong song. If the ESC2013 voters are in a fun mood then this is a potential winner. Definite Top 5. One of very few that will be internationally successful this summer.
France 290
As one of the automatic entries in the Final, few have seen this yet. Quite a dramatic performance and not what you tend to associate with France. A passionate girl in a black dress will suprise the audience, I think, and deliver a stunning performance but not, I fear, get many votes. It's good - just not Eurovision.
Georgia 44
The more I hear this the worse it gets. First time you think Yes, this could win. Second time. Er... Third time God this is pathetic. So it stands a chance then and should be Top 10.
Germany 60
Another country going straight in but everyone will have heard of Cascada. Glorious is a poor copy of last year's winning song. It is catchy and, if voters are prepared to forgive the copy or were asleep last year, it could make Top 10. It's not going to win, though, Much depends on how she performs - she has been a bit dodgy in rehearsals and looking old.
Greece 48
How on earth this can have got through is beyond me. Who wants to see old Greek men in kilts? Oh. You do. OK. Total rubbish. And don't talk to me about alcohol please. (That's another story).
Hungary 300
Quirky. Odd. Lovely. I'd love to see this win. It won't but it's a cool little track and will make Top 10 at least.
Iceland 300
I am surprised this made it through to the final. It is, though, one of only very few big ballads so if the voters like big ballads and beards then this guy will do OK. I think it'll be a right hand side of the table job though.
Ireland 60
Another of the cute boys this year. Cheesey smile, song and performance. Just what Euro voters like. I don't but it'll do quite well.
Italy 36
Italy like to be different in their entries and this is another quality entry but not one that will win. Expect to see it getting consistent mid-range support, though and to be a Top 10 contender.
Lithuania 560
This is Mr Eyebrows, singing about his shoes. Don't ask! I love this and predicted it would do well a long time ago. he is gathering quite a following and is charming in interview. Hey, Lithuania have nothing to lose, although putting on ESC2014 could cost them their year's defence budget. I'm going to say this will be Top 10, possibly a surprise winner.
Malta 210
Another great entry! Cheery, smiley singer and happy band behind him who just seem to have fun with this clever little song about Jeremy in IT. It's Top 10 for me.
Moldova 260
This is the one with the stupid dress. She has to stay fixed in position all through the song which doesn't exactly help put it across as well as some movement or interpretation might but no, someone somewhere decided that the dress should grow and grow and have all kinds of strange lighting effects which makes you wonder what she must have eaten the night before. A passionate performance that voters will remember and so vote for. Top 10. Just.
Netherlands 38
Some song about Birds by an ageing folk singer. It's pleasant enough and might even have won in 1972. 2013? I don't see it happening somehow.
Norway 10
Second favourite during much of the run-up to the Final so you'd expect this to have something that made it so highly recommended to betting people. Despite two or three viewings, I don't see anything that makes it Top 10, never mind winning. The girl is talented and experienced and, yes, she does have the almost obligatory white dress (very long and very tight version which doesn't exactly compliment her body) so maybe that's why.
Romania 200
If bizarre yodelling opera soprano from a bloke is your scene then you'll enjoy Romania. I'd rather go and make some coffee. He'll probably do really well.
Russia 18
A nice, straight, no gimmicks ballad from Big Red. They really have tried everything over the years and seem to be permanently fourth. A good performance from an excellent girl singer, popular in her country and well-known in the surrounding nations too. This has to stand a chance of getting us to Moscow in 2014. But it won't. They'll be 4th again.
Spain 720
I adore this song. No-one else seems to as it is almost the least fancied of them all (barring Armenia). Why? It's a cool song, great theme, pretty girl who was married to a racing driver. It is very slow to start and get going, though, which may explain why no-one seems to be interested in it. Maybe she will surprise us all on the night when we have to see it all and realise how good the second half is. I'll win nearly £2000 if Spain win. Vote Espana!!
Sweden 100
Because Sweden have an automatic entry to the Final so haven't had to perform few people have heard their entry. It's actually very good. Yet another cute guy. (2013 is definitely The Year Of The Cute Eurovision Guy). If I were gay I would be delighted. This will be Top 5. It may even surprise us all and give Sweden a second win and they can keep all the Malmo logos til next year.
Ukraine 15
We know that Ukraine will be in the Top 5. They always are. Or nearly there. Another good quality entry, not as commercial as last year or as sexy as some previous years but good enough to make them third favourite this year. That implies a 3rd position but I have a feeling Mr Eyebrows and The Jeremy Song, plus several others will steal votes this year. And Denmark and Estonia have the sexier white dresses.
United Kingdom 130
And then there's my own good old England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and probably The Channel Islands too (I can never remember if they're part of UK or just Great Britain). We've dug out Bonnie Tyler from what most of us had thought was well-deserved and, frankly quite welcome, retirement. It's a well-written song and she'll perform better than our ridiculously badly planned effort last year but it's a right hand side of the table job, I'm afraid. Just thank God there's Armenia to take the bottom slot.
{The numbers are the amounts you could win for betting 1 for each act to win.}
Armenia 760
A dreadful noise. 70s style rock and moustaches, no chance. Goodbye. Who the hell voted them in??
Azerbaijan 19
They want to win again so there's a cute guy and a box and this will appeal to gay voters as well as straight. A possible winner and certain Top 10, probably Top 5.
Belarus 390
Cheerful Eurocrap which would do better if it wasn't for the fact that several countries don't like Belarus much at the moment. Normally Top 5 but may struggle to reach Top 10 this time.
Belgium 450
Another cute boy. Cute song. Instantly forgettable though. Stick to making chocolate, folks.
Denmark 1.8
This is the year they either win or come close to winning yet again with an excellent song. We could be in Copenhagen in 2014.
Estonia 590
Beautiful girl in a big white dress. Some fine moments in this song and it might just inspire voters across the board and get enough 6s and 7s to stand a chance. Possible Top 5.
Finland 65
Yes, this is great fun. It's the Oh Oh Ding Dong song. If the ESC2013 voters are in a fun mood then this is a potential winner. Definite Top 5. One of very few that will be internationally successful this summer.
France 290
As one of the automatic entries in the Final, few have seen this yet. Quite a dramatic performance and not what you tend to associate with France. A passionate girl in a black dress will suprise the audience, I think, and deliver a stunning performance but not, I fear, get many votes. It's good - just not Eurovision.
Georgia 44
The more I hear this the worse it gets. First time you think Yes, this could win. Second time. Er... Third time God this is pathetic. So it stands a chance then and should be Top 10.
Germany 60
Another country going straight in but everyone will have heard of Cascada. Glorious is a poor copy of last year's winning song. It is catchy and, if voters are prepared to forgive the copy or were asleep last year, it could make Top 10. It's not going to win, though, Much depends on how she performs - she has been a bit dodgy in rehearsals and looking old.
Greece 48
How on earth this can have got through is beyond me. Who wants to see old Greek men in kilts? Oh. You do. OK. Total rubbish. And don't talk to me about alcohol please. (That's another story).
Hungary 300
Quirky. Odd. Lovely. I'd love to see this win. It won't but it's a cool little track and will make Top 10 at least.
Iceland 300
I am surprised this made it through to the final. It is, though, one of only very few big ballads so if the voters like big ballads and beards then this guy will do OK. I think it'll be a right hand side of the table job though.
Ireland 60
Another of the cute boys this year. Cheesey smile, song and performance. Just what Euro voters like. I don't but it'll do quite well.
Italy 36
Italy like to be different in their entries and this is another quality entry but not one that will win. Expect to see it getting consistent mid-range support, though and to be a Top 10 contender.
Lithuania 560
This is Mr Eyebrows, singing about his shoes. Don't ask! I love this and predicted it would do well a long time ago. he is gathering quite a following and is charming in interview. Hey, Lithuania have nothing to lose, although putting on ESC2014 could cost them their year's defence budget. I'm going to say this will be Top 10, possibly a surprise winner.
Malta 210
Another great entry! Cheery, smiley singer and happy band behind him who just seem to have fun with this clever little song about Jeremy in IT. It's Top 10 for me.
Moldova 260
This is the one with the stupid dress. She has to stay fixed in position all through the song which doesn't exactly help put it across as well as some movement or interpretation might but no, someone somewhere decided that the dress should grow and grow and have all kinds of strange lighting effects which makes you wonder what she must have eaten the night before. A passionate performance that voters will remember and so vote for. Top 10. Just.
Netherlands 38
Some song about Birds by an ageing folk singer. It's pleasant enough and might even have won in 1972. 2013? I don't see it happening somehow.
Norway 10
Second favourite during much of the run-up to the Final so you'd expect this to have something that made it so highly recommended to betting people. Despite two or three viewings, I don't see anything that makes it Top 10, never mind winning. The girl is talented and experienced and, yes, she does have the almost obligatory white dress (very long and very tight version which doesn't exactly compliment her body) so maybe that's why.
Romania 200
If bizarre yodelling opera soprano from a bloke is your scene then you'll enjoy Romania. I'd rather go and make some coffee. He'll probably do really well.
Russia 18
A nice, straight, no gimmicks ballad from Big Red. They really have tried everything over the years and seem to be permanently fourth. A good performance from an excellent girl singer, popular in her country and well-known in the surrounding nations too. This has to stand a chance of getting us to Moscow in 2014. But it won't. They'll be 4th again.
Spain 720
I adore this song. No-one else seems to as it is almost the least fancied of them all (barring Armenia). Why? It's a cool song, great theme, pretty girl who was married to a racing driver. It is very slow to start and get going, though, which may explain why no-one seems to be interested in it. Maybe she will surprise us all on the night when we have to see it all and realise how good the second half is. I'll win nearly £2000 if Spain win. Vote Espana!!
Sweden 100
Because Sweden have an automatic entry to the Final so haven't had to perform few people have heard their entry. It's actually very good. Yet another cute guy. (2013 is definitely The Year Of The Cute Eurovision Guy). If I were gay I would be delighted. This will be Top 5. It may even surprise us all and give Sweden a second win and they can keep all the Malmo logos til next year.
Ukraine 15
We know that Ukraine will be in the Top 5. They always are. Or nearly there. Another good quality entry, not as commercial as last year or as sexy as some previous years but good enough to make them third favourite this year. That implies a 3rd position but I have a feeling Mr Eyebrows and The Jeremy Song, plus several others will steal votes this year. And Denmark and Estonia have the sexier white dresses.
United Kingdom 130
And then there's my own good old England, Scotland, Wales, Northern Ireland and probably The Channel Islands too (I can never remember if they're part of UK or just Great Britain). We've dug out Bonnie Tyler from what most of us had thought was well-deserved and, frankly quite welcome, retirement. It's a well-written song and she'll perform better than our ridiculously badly planned effort last year but it's a right hand side of the table job, I'm afraid. Just thank God there's Armenia to take the bottom slot.
Saturday, May 04, 2013
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