X Factor USA Boot Camp Decision Time

Chris

Group 9 seemed to be on Cloud Nine as Marcus Canty and Chris Rene get plenty of screen time performing What's Going On with Brennin Hunt and a bunch of others who didn't. This set the scene for tonight's show where the cameras tended to follow certain people and you kinda guessed that they'd be the ones surviving. Something we didn't get in the UK shows or American Idol was the occasional exchanges between the judges either during the performances or just afterwards  - things only those nearby would have heard and not the usually more carefully considered announcements for the audience. "She's Gotta Go," from Simon as one little tuneless girl walked off stage being a nice example.

Marcus

A bunch of what appeared to be mostly girls in Group 10 appeared briefly and we get two bars of I'm Every Woman which would have been a challenge to most of the male contestants. No idea who they were or who did well as we streaked into Group 11 doing Love Song where some people I'd never seen before demonstrated why I never seen them before. One exception was a good ol' boy called Tim Cifers who was quite impressive but that may just have been in comparison to the others who weren't.

The Brewer Boys finally get more than ten seconds air time in Group 12 and seem to be the only ones in this group who don't make a complete mess of Snow Patrol's Chasing Cars track. They seem a pretty together band and have a wholesome flop-haired look that you could imagine on the cover of an album. When they're older they could try striding over a pedestrian crossing maybe. We'll see more of them, I'm sure, if only because there seem to be precious few young lads who can hold a note in this competition, the older guys totally blowing them off the stage so far and SYCO need the mums and teen girl vote if they're going to make any money out of this. Boys don't redial umpteen times. In fact boys seldom call at all. It's not exactly cool. Can you imagine boys rushing into class the next day and jumping up and down and telling their mates how many times they voted the night before? No.

That was that. The judges now dismiss another third of the contestants and we get glimpses of one or two earlier hopefuls like Kelly going home. Not, interestingly, the little tuneless girl that Simon mentioned earlier. Seems like he doesn't always get his way. The next stage gives us a chance to see what the audience think as 60 or so move on to deliver solo performances of their choice from a range of tracks suggested. This is much more like the kind of territory they'll need to cover on the Live Shows and, with a good-sized audience too, the show is finally beginning to take shape.

First up again is Rachel Crow. I guess it must have been getting close to her bedtime. Being first on twice is still a bit strange, though. Still, she's confident and actually pretty good. I find her annoying to watch because I just don't get the feeling she gets what she's singing about. She should do Lollipop, not If I Were A Boy. and goodness knows what mum'll say when Simon gets her to do Let's Spend The Night Together on Stones Night. Anyway, yes, she'll be through, we all can guess that.

Audrey Turner follows with an earthy and loud number which included the line Ain't No Mountain High Enough which Ike would have approved of. No-one else seemed too impressed though and most of us were wondering just how old she must be beneath the stretched skin and wig.

Paige Elizabeth ought to have scored well but put in just an average performance of Somewhere Only We Know and disappointed those who'd seen her as a definite contender before.

Tiger appears and finally we get to see a genuinely good performance. He does Billy Jean, takes a chance but it works well. I tried hard to see him as a star, though, and just can't see him making it when he has the excellent Josh as competition. Josh, indeed, followed and did a couple of burrito promos before producing one of the top four auditions tonight with Up The Mountain.

Simone

Simone returns to the screen after a while. You'll remember her red hot pants. This time they were a sort of grey check and her legs seemed to have grown even longer as the cameraman also obviously noticed and decided to show us. She was supposed to sing Your Song but no-one remembers much about that apart from her forgetting the words which is probably just as well. I can see her getting through and then being the first to get voted off.

Then we get a blur of three or four acts. I can only recall Simon commenting "I don't want to hear it again" as Makenna & Brock walk off after what I had thought was a much better performance than some of the earlier stuff they'd done.

Brennin

Siameze screeches something quite a lot and just looks too weird even for American TV. Brennin, in complete contrast, does the male model industry proud and sets out to wrap up his place at the Judges' Houses by looking sultry at Paula and Nicole. Either Simon or LA Reid, however, spook his style with what seems like an over-amplified piano drowning out whatever he was trying to sing and generally the whole arrangement sounded terrible. You just know we'll see more of him for all that. He's not going to win or anything but he makes good TV in the early stages.

Stereo Hogzz

Coming up next are a series of good acts: StereoHogzz are getting lots of screen time and add an great job of Cry Me A River to that. Another Top 4 performance of the night, also getting one of the best reactions so far from the crowd.

Brian

Brian Bradley does what Brian Bradley does. This little chap's amazing and very professional. I just can't see how he's going to handle the ballad round or the Let's All Dance Nicely In White Suits as the inevitable intro that will be necessary for the Live Shows. For all that, he'll be there.

Phillip

Phillip Lomax and Chris Rene are clearly going to be competing in the Boys slot, and I wouldn't want to be the one who decides. They're both potentially big and deserve the success they've had so far. We'll see more of them in future weeks. Phillip may win out on the cool front.

Nick Dean reappears. I could have sworn that he got kicked out earlier but, whatever, he does a reasonable job of rescuing himself and girls will like him. He just doesn't match the previous pair, for instance, and unless they stuff him in some group I reckon his days are numbered on this show.

I really do find Stacy Francis difficult to watch. She's good, bags of talent, great voice and tremendous emotion comes across as she blows the audience away with Summertime. The best performance of the night. But why oh why does she insist on that long high note. It just makes us think she's showing off. We don't want to hear it any more. We can hear you can sing so shut up now and go away. Come back next week and try and remember what one of the coaches had said before: "Less is more, OK?"

Steve Jones had been making the odd appearance here and there and all credit to him for a commentary that didn't remind you that it was him doing it. He's like an audio overlay, information is provided but not intrusively. Ryan Seacrest and UK's old hand Dermot O'Leary you can't ignore. Steve you can ignore if you want to. You get to choose. Unless, that is, he's got the short sleeve blue shirt on. Then it is impossible to ignore as he has a rich brown face and lily white arms which just look very odd.

Tiah

Quite why they bring Steve on at this point is not clear but perhaps we needed a break before watching Tiah. Tiah's become one of Simon's Girls, with Tora and one or two others that we'll see more of however they perform by the looks of things. Add Simone to that list! anyway Tiah does do well this time and may have restored some faith amongst earlier doubters. She looked a lot better too. I can see her being one of those acts that look completely different each week. Following Stacy must have been tough but she did a good job. Ah, maybe that's why the inserted a Steve Jones slot.

Tora

Cari Fletcher sings well but is a bit Pia-like in that she'll do OK but not set anything alight. Drew, previously a major contender, seems to have dipped a bit with a song that didn't suit her or the audience as much as she'd probably hoped. Caitlin Koch won the day amongst this trio of talent this time with a spotless rendition of Cry Me A River. I love this girl and Steve gets her for his first ever after performance interview. She's not a likely winner, just great to watch.

Caitlin

Leroy

Leroy Bell winds up this round with a nice tone and he's something of a dark horse in this competition. Great singer in a smart, quiet way. He and Cari should get together. Again, not a winner but nice to see him getting good reviews.

So, after a whole load of music and precious few silly interruptions in a good evening's entertainment, we get the lists of people through to Judges' Houses. Eight in each category. We also get confirmation of the allocation of categories to the judges. And here, at last, they are!

Simon's Girls

Rachel Crow
Caitlin Koch
Tora Woloshin
Simone Battle
Drew Ryniewicz
Jazzlyn Little
Melanie Amaro
Tiah Tolliver

LA Reid's Boys

Brennin Hunt
Brian Bradley
Skyelor Anderson
Nick Voss
Tim Cifers
Phillip Lomax
Marcus Canty
Chris Rene

Nicole's Over 30s

Elaine Gibbs
Tiger Budbill
James Kenney
Josh Kracjik
Christa Collins
Dexter Haygood
Stacy Francis
Leroy Bell

Paula's Groups

StereoHogzz
4Shore
2 Squar'd
The Brewer Boys
Illusion Confusion
The Anser
In addition, two groups were made up from solo entries:
InTENsity (Nick Dean, Francesca Duncan, John Lindahl, Emily Michalak, Arin Ray,
Lauren Ashley, Ellona Santiago, Ma’at Bingham Shango, Austin Percario, Emily Wilson
Lakoda Rayne (Cari Fletcher, Dani Knights, Paige Ogle, Hayley Orrantia)

Bearing in mind that the huge kid's group includes the tuneless little girl I have my doubts about how far they'll go in that format and may well have to change their name to InNINEsity, I doubt if we'll see much more of that bunch in that form after Judges' Houses. On the other hand the make-up of Lakoda Rayne is superb and, if they get their act together, could be serious contenders.

In amongst this list there are several who the cameras have managed to avoid (or vice versa) clearly we still have a lot to learn. I'm not sure we will if all we get from Judges' Houses are snippets of performance and an hour of tears and judges justifying their decisions in words that mums can't sue them for! 

X Factor USA Rumours

I must have misread the bit about the Boot Camp being live or fairly recent. Seems it was recorded some time ago and Judges' Houses have been recorded too, mostly, which means news is trickling through from the girl who makes the tea, the boy who sets up the sound gear and, of course, all sorts of other interested people who are around at the time (including a photographer or two!), about who made it through Boot Camp as the Final 32.

I have also seen what seem to be pretty informed reports about the Final 16 appearing in the Live Shows - the important ones, what it's all about, really.

Some decisions may still be being taken though, especially in the Group department where you can expect some solo contestants to be thrown together in the hope they might do better than some of the ready-made ones who applied as groups.

It's going to be chaos, there'll be tears and there'll be more than a few surprises. In other words, Simon Cowell is up to his traditional English tricks again and that means fun for you USA viewers. The front runners aren't going to be affected by what goes on in the lower regions of the Top 16, although a particularly smart group could cause some upsets - witness 1 Direction last year in X Factor UK.

The Spoilers! page on this site contains details and will be updated as and when I get reliable information. But you might not want to look. Well, not until after the Boot Camp, at least!

X factor UK The Big Twist is a just a little kink

After all the excitement and rumours all this has been about is the removal of 4 acts on Saturday's first Live Show. One from each group will be sent home. Quite frankly, that should be a pretty simple task for Louis. A bit tougher for the others, especially Tulisa who has only just managed to remember who is now in which group and I am still expecting them to get muddled up on the night.

Anyway, that's it. Official breathless wow announcement can be read here.

Apologies to Ray Davies for the post title.

X Factor USA Boot Camp 1. Five Hours To Impress

Steve 'The Chin' Jones tries out a Ryan Seacrest impression with "This is [pause] ..." I had to check the schedule to make sure I wasn't watching American Idol by mistake but luckily he eventually finished with "... Boot Camp." Pictures of a little girl being woken up by Mom and another brushing her teeth. (She needn't worry too much. Everyone that gets through will get the impossibly bright white treatment anyway.) Yes, this is the part where 162 acts get whittled down to the 32 who will go to Judges' Condos.

This was so much better produced than the UK Boot Camp which looked as if it had been filmed in a village hall and where chaos reigned on a damp wood stage and we spent more time being shown people arguing or wandering around than actually performing. This time they got it spot-on with full length auditions of the groups doing their bit, allowing us to see at least some of what convinced the judges to keep them a little longer.

In Part 1, 162 acts were rapidly culled to just 100 and those who either couldn't dance or who simply shouldn't have been there in the first place were got rid of. The rest were divided into bunches of seven or eight acts and given just five hours to learn the track the judges gave them. No questions, just get on with it. Prior to that, the 100 were treated to a party, presumably the 12 year olds getting fizzy pop instead of the champagne unless they managed to sneak back downstairs when their parents dozed off.

Chin Jones produced another classic piece of fatuous commentary with: "Some of the 100 remaining decide to have an early night. The others stay up and party into the night." Duh. Maybe, Steve, some went for a walk, some got off with the girl in hot pants, some watched X factor UK recordings or just said 'stuff the party I'm off for a pizza'. And whereas Ryan or UK's excellent Dermot O'Leary would have been in amongst the crowd having a good time, Chin Jones was nowhere to be seen. I guess he was rehearsing another truck window shot.

As the 5 hour fuse was set alight we discover that Ike Turner's ex, Audrey, is one of the contestants. She just appears from nowhere and even Simon seems a bit surprised as someone from the production team explains who she is and how she got in.

I struggled to catch the names of all the performers but the screen helpfully had some of the names - also a bit of a hint as to who is expected to be around for a while if they've gone to the trouble of making the overlays -and on stage came Group 1 with Drew, Caitlin Koch and The Anser looking and sounding good. Elaine outperformed Audrey Turner in my view but the Over30s category may need Audrey to make up the numbers and so both may survive a bit longer. They did Creep pretty damn well, Drew clearly establishing a place for herself.

In group 2 Jazzlyn, who I still can't believe is only 16 (and who wouldn't look out of place in the Over 30s if they're still a bit short next week), forgot her words to the appropriately titled U2 number, I Still Haven't Found What I'm Looking For. She was great, though, for all that, as was Melanie and some guys who didn't get their names on the overlay. Stacy had previously been shown holding a note for an annoyingly silly length of time - the clip in fact being shown twice which gave me enough time on each occasion to make a cup of coffee and have a chat with my mother. She managed to keep a bit quieter in the group performance and did reasonably well, seeming to impress the judges but still looking in all the shots we were shown as if she'd got a lemon stuck under her tongue and had the type of expression on her face that made you wonder whether she'd ever smiled in her life.

Desperado for Group 3 might have been one of Simon's jokes but if it was it backfired. Dani Knights, Paige and good ol' Leroy in his woolly hat excelled. Skyelor didn't but I have a feeling he'll still get through as he looks good and can probably sing other stuff better. Cari Fletcher doesn't seem to have many fans amongst the judges, despite putting in a good performance but Paige did outclass her on this crucial occasion.

Group 4 had little Brian who was duly relieved to have the rap-embellished version of Wishing On A Star. The little fellow forgot his words but was still quite determined to take over the whole thing. He's good entertainment, which might still get him through to the live shows but JenniFay, Lauren and Reina showed him he wasn't the only one determined to show off with their own excellent input regardless of what he was doing.

Josh K totally took over the Group 5 performance of Superman, with Tiger B getting Simon's attention too. James K was another outstanding act in this bunch but little Nick Dean wobbled on and off notes and completely lost it midway. That'll be embarrassing when he goes back to school on Friday.

Group 6 brought us Philip Lomax and Nick Voss doing well with I'm Feeling Good. All American cheerleader girl Kelly hardly got a look in but Tiah managed to muscle into the act and make her presence felt and heard. Quite what Simon sees in her I'm not sure. I wouldn't keep her but you just know she'll be at the Condos.

I Have Nothing At All looked like a tough number to learn for Group 7 but it finished up as one of the best with superb short notice contributions from 4Shore, Hayley and Ellona as well as the cheeky 14 year old who started the whole series, Rachel C. We'd been tricked by some rehearsal footage into thinking she was going to make a complete mess and miss all the notes but she actually did pretty well. I just don't get someone her age singing those lyrics and it didn't do much to convince me she was that good. However, I expect she'll be good entertainment value too so expect more.

Finally we get Run, for which Snow Patrol had to share credits with Leona Lewis. Well, I suppose it was her version that made the Snow Patrol writers and SYCO the most money. This was a great way to end  Boot Camp Part 1 with every one of its members bar one act doing an inspiring job and impressing, even surprising, the judges.these included Siameze Floyd, Jeremiah, the Song Preservation Society (who??) and StereoHogzz. Some 12 year old called Emily featured in Group 8 too. She was reasonably good and I don't recall seeing her before but 12?? Really? That doesn't make sense. The act that didn't seem to do anything for anyone was Makenna & Brock. Either they're really old-fashioned, have been brought up by maiden aunts who beat them if they show any inclination towards the opposite sex or they're putting on a damn good act for the cameras by staying a safe distance from each other at all times and not exactly setting their audience alight with any passion. I can imagine them doing lift music. They'd be ideal material for Back To The Future IV if it ever gets made and a couple from 1957 is needed. In a similar vein, it is also a relief to report that Ausem were not at all obvious. I suppose they may appear in Part 2 but we live in hope that they were amongst the 62 kicked out at the start.

I lost count of how many acts had been on screen by the end of this show but I don't think it was 100 so presumably we get some more tomorrow. That should be some show with a massive 68 of them being thrown out. Tonight's show started with Paula in tears for some reason never explained. I should imagine that there'll be plenty more where they came from amongst the 68, as well as some of the 32 successful ones, in Boot Camp 2.

.

X Factor UK: The Live Show Twist?

Olly Murs mentioned that there's "a big twist" coming up for the Live Shows. That's got everyone wondering what the hell that might be. All good publicity too, but that's all part of the fun. So I thought I'd round up what people are suggesting:

There'll be four wild cards, bringing back someone from each category who we think has been sent home. 

C'mon.. that's crazy! Managing 20 contestants is abit over the top and, anyway, we would have heard about it because the acts concerned would have to perform which means they'd be rehearsing and some cameraman or admin staff at ITV would have spilt a bean or two by now. And for some that could be the third or fourth time they've been sent home and then had a camera crew rushing after a judge rushing after them to say "sorry we didn't mean that."

Cheryl will be back as an extra, supposedly impartial judge. 

Possible. Avoids the drama of the two-two split and kicking out the one with the lowest public vote. But that's usually good TV.

Simon Cowell will be back. 

That's a popular one but pretty unlikely as he's tied up with X Factor USA. Or is he? Depends on the demands of Boot Camp USA and Judges Condos USA as they're a few weeks behind. Weekends look free on their schedule for a while so he could fly back and join in but unless he actually changes something that's no big twist.

They switch around the judges and categories. 

Now that would give Louis a chance of not getting quite so mauled on twitter but it's a bit much to expect some one to take over a bunch of people chosen by someone else. Sounds nonsense to me.

Double eliminations for the first couple of weeks. Or four acts going in the first week. 

Personally, I always feel sorry for whoever gets thrown out in the first week unless they're a complete and utter disaster - and truly disastrous acts usually survive for a while as they get the 'Wagner Vote' so it's someone who just didn't quite get their song or self together for that first live performance, possibly of their lives, who goes. They'd go anyway - I don't think anyone from previous years stood a chance - but I still feel it's a rough bit of luck.

No-one goes in the first week. 

Following on from the last one this could make sense. Then some doubles or whatever kick in from Week 2. Still no Big Twist, though. Just a Little Tweak.

The eliminations are decided purely by the public vote à la Big Brother. Or we vote to send home, just for a change. 

Not much point having the judges in the first instance and are people really going to spend money to get rid of people in the second?

Simon Cowell will merge the two shows and have USA contestants on the UK show and vice versa. Call it X Factor Global. 

I invented the name but someone else came up with that mad idea. Not only do the schedules not really make that feasible but the mere logistics of judges and votes makes my head hurt.

Contestants vote for each other à la Fame Academy (remember Fame Academy with Robin Gibb, Patrick Kielty, Cat Deeley and Richard Park?)

Well, they are having videos from the X Factor 'House' which will show what they've all been doing. Thereagain, that didn't exactly set the ratings alight.

The winner will be Britain's entry in Eurovision 2012 and/or sing the opening thing at the Olympics.

Bit boring for a Big Twist.

Week 1 is a Chubby Checker round.

:)

Basically I haven't the foggiest idea. Have you?

X Factor UK: 16 Through To The Live Shows

So, at last, after two evenings of pretty mind-numbing TV, lots of pool shots, tears and really quite annoying editing that stretched out the judges' decisions to such an extent that made Dermot's pause before announcing last year's winner seem positively brief, we get the final 16.

Four acts in each of the categories have made it through to the real show. Until now, we've had snippets of performances here and there, extended ones for some (thanks mainly to Xtra Factor which has been far more interesting and informative to date) but from next week we should start to see just what these guys can do.



Because all the programmes to date were actually recorded a while ago, you could have found out who made it with a few searches anyway so there were no surprises but in the Over 25s Carloynn Poole must be disappointed that Louis chose Johnny Robinson, presumably for the show's obligatory comic act, and even preferred Sammie Brookes when Goldie left. In the Girls, Sophie has been almost invisible so far in comparison to Jade who had loads of screen time. Put the two side by side with the volume turned off, though, and you can see why Kelly decided to go with Sophie. Neither are potential winners, however, so it doesn't matter too much now.

Gary Barlow had Robbie Williams with him to help with some choices but, from the eight he started with, that wasn't too difficult. Whilst Frankie has had all the publicity so far, James looks like one of those acts that make the show really interesting in that if he's as good as I think he could be then watch his progress through the weeks. Craig will let the mums' votes.

The Groups have been a nightmare to keep up with, Tulisa mixing and matching and basically taking a bundle of solo applicants and juggling them around to make some bands. She even had the cheek to take the lead singer from an established band, The Keys, and re-make an already manufactured group, The Risk, chucking out two and bringing Charlie from The Keys in. She's also made a couple of other groups, Nu Vibe and Rhythmix, including some decent talent who didn't make it through on their own. If anyone had told me that 2 Shoes would be the sole original group out of goodness knows how many must have applied to make it through then I would have thought they were mad.

Kelly Rowland has three potential winners in the Girls category in my view. If Janet gets the right tracks to perform and keeps her nerve then she will be in a category of her own. Louis, I'm afraid, has a losing team once again. Gary's James and Frankie will be competing for the girl fan votes and one will be a contender. Tulisa's groups are a mystery - I have a suspicion two will be around for a long time in the competition.

The fun starts, next week, at last!

X Factor USA Auditions End. Next Stop Boot, Trainer and Stiletto Camp.

This was a long, long show. It dragged and seemed to have more dreadful rubbish than the others that had gone before. In the UK about 200 acts made it to Boot Camp. I've counted about 40 getting through to Boot Camp USA so far. I'm also struggling to figure out just how all those huge masses of people we saw waiting in line outside various venues got whittled down to what can't have been more than 50 on the stage in front of the judges each day with just 20 at most actually making it to our screens in each place. Someone must know how that works. Some major culling must have happened somewhere. There's also a load we haven't seen much of at all. Anyway, tonight we found another dozen acts and two or three who'll be in the Live Shows.


New Jersey

Kicked off with a little rapper called Brian. Brian? He'll need to change that to something more rebellious and give Michael Caine back his glasses. Great performance by this talented 14 year old lad but don't tell me that wasn't rehearsed as he went straight in to his track without being asked the usual silly questions they have written down. Quite how he'll fit in with the others in the live rounds I don't know, and I just don't see how he'll cope with the Let's Sing Abba Songs or Elvis week with Bono or Tony Christie mentoring them. To save Paula having to translate the rap for Simon every week I reckon LA Reid should just give the boy a deal now and leave the rest to get on with things.

Kelly cuts hair in a nursing home. I don't know why we needed to know that but it was interesting that the one line we did hear in her song from Hallelujah included 'cuts hair' - is this SYCO doing a subconscious promotion? Maybe I'll get a sudden craving to go out and buy some scissors or shampoo. That one line was good though and the all-American girl who surely has to have been a cheerleader once upon a time gets through easily.

Simon has some doubts about a chap called Aaron who looked about 30 years older than he probably was. He gets through to Boot Camp too and maybe he'll surprise us all but I shall not hold my breath. Unless they find some more Over 30s, Paula and Nicole will have to put themselves in the category to make up the numbers. Even then, Nicole will probably have trouble deciding whether to put herself through.

Three more reasonable sounding or looking acts get through in a few glimpses which simply weren't worth showing and then we did get a longer look at Liliana Rose. She says she sings in a cubicle. Good voice and if she gets the sort of makeover X Factor does tend to do in later rounds then I can see people liking her. Not sure whether they'd vote though.

There was a cringe-worthy moment with Andy who hadn't ever had a girlfriend and had brought his mum with him. Why do we need to see this poor chap? Move on.

An idiot follows and, thankfully, quickly goes off again and then we get the hilarious Clarissa audition. "People scream when I sing at karaoke," she announced before she started. Then she does start and we find out why. It's clearly to get her off the ruddy stage but she must have thought they loved her and Simon has trouble controlling himself.

More wastes of time and space and then Cari Fletcher attempts Heart's Alone. Very unsure at the start and I really didn't hear whatever LA Reid, Nicole and Paula heard to be so enthusiastic about. Had they forgotten some of the earlier auditions where they'd danced, applauded and raved about people in previous weeks? This very pretty girl wouldn't stand a chance against some of them. Simon seems to talk sense and is probably the first person ever to call the girl boring and, in so far as she hasn't got much chance of getting past Boot Camp, a No would have been reasonable. Just in case she suddenly gets her nerves sorted and totally wows people, though, he plays it safe and agrees with the others with a Yes. As I said, she was very beautiful.

I might find myself calling the next act Ad Nauseam but I had better start by being fair. They're Ausem. Don't ask. That would have been enough for me to tell them to go home. They do a sort of Glee excerpt badly. The young lad, Austin, could be a contender on his own. Not sure about the girl. With some good mentoring and a lot of practice, though, I can see them getting piles of teenage votes if they do make the Group category - and they'll be pretty unique there too from what we've seen to date. "For God's sake, give them a Yes or a No," suggests Simon as Nicole struggles to make a decision. "Yes or bloody no!" he shouts. Reasonable question and I am sure I would have done the same thing as the silly woman seems to need someone to replace her batteries or something. I just really do hope that wasn't some rehearsed thing to spice up an otherwise ailing show tonight.

Oh, yes, they got through. Paula was going to say Yes anyway so they could have completely ignored Nicole but there you go. Nicole is not exactly setting the panel alight so far. LA Reid has settled in and established a stance, a stare and an iconic neck dance already.

Other places they missed before

In the middle of the show we suddenly get the truck window man Steve again. Those shots only serve to make me wonder how many takes they did with what I guess must have been another truck alongside with a camera dangling out of its window. Steve doesn't strike me as someone who remembers lines easily.

The next hour seems to be a round-up of whoever we might not have seen in other places which makes you wonder whether they'd expected more talent than they actually found when first planning the audition shows.

One was well worth watching, though. Tora. Full of life. She builds race cars and looks cute. She soon had LA doing the neck dance that looks like becoming a standard feature of the shows and the rest of us trying to figure out what she has tattooed on her cheek. She clearly thoroughly enjoyed a great performance. A bit rough when stretching to higher notes but she sure has something special and would be a super addition to the Live Shows which she stands an excellent chance of reaching, if only because the producers can relax and know they have someone who won't make a cock-up. Haley springs to mind from last season's Idol. I wish her well and hope the papers don't dig up anything from her past.

More rubbish follows - not the best of evenings so far - and then four guys calling themselves the Stereo Hoggs do an uninspiring and instantly forgettable number but still get through. I guess they're low in the Group department numbers. And they need some competition for Ad Nauseam in the Live Shows or SYCO won't get so much phone vote revenue.

Brinnan brings up the standard a bit and seems to appeal to Simon who probably hopes to see a younger version of himself in the chap. The girls just like the way he looks and giggle their Yes votes. He'll be OK as long as the songs he's given stay within one octave. But all credit to him for taking a risk with his own song.

Paige Elizabeth is great and wants to take out Justin Bieber and not for an evening meal either. We only get a fraction of her performance but she's a contender. She gets followed by a rush of ten second acts that I can't keep up with but one did stand out and that was Nick Dean. Good name, good looks and his own track Walk Away gets the 14 year old into the kids' slot safely.

More crap. Oh please end my pain! We get a dreadful two minutes of one fool who I'm sure is added in just in an attempt to entertain us but unfortunately it is just bad TV and I'm amazed that no-one realised that when putting tonight's show together. Go away. This is rubbish and there's 20 minutes still to go. I'm tempted to watch some old recordings of American Idol instead or put a Leonard Cohen cassette on to cheer me up. It would have to be a cassette so I can get a nice load of hiss in the background to get that stupid number song out of my head.

Finally we get to what they say is the final contestant and she really is just that - and a Final contender at that, I reckon. Jazzlyn we will hear a lot more about. She will have had far more than 500 hits on her single previous YouTube video by now as her audition was one of the best of the series so far. I guess that's why they left it to the end. Not a track to everyone's taste but I like the fact that she's different. At just 16 she is something else and if she can keep her nerve in Boot Camp she'll be there for many more weeks. Nice girl too. Either she really does lose herself in her music or the initial walk-on nerves were an act and, as Simon says in an aside, "We've been worked" is what some might believe.

So that's it. The mad period of the raunchy, the rough, the ridiculous and really good is over. Boot Camp follows when whoever got through fight for just 32 places. We've obviously not been shown more than a glimpse of some and unless I dozed off, I can only recall five Groups that we've actually seen that stand a vague chance. The Over 30s are thin on the ground too and only just enough for some debate over the eight to go to Judges' Houses. In contrast, we have seen eight kids who deserve to go through as well as another eight older boys or girls. That's where we are also going to see a whole new bunch of people and some major weeping and wailing - the Judges' Houses section will be an emotional drain of an evening in a damp October, folks. It's hard enough to watch grown men cry but this time we'll have 14-year-old kids blubbing and, unless he's hiding some human abilities extremely well, I just don't see truck window man Steve comforting some heart-broken 16 year old girl making comfortable television.