Uncomfortable Numbers.

Dermot welcomes us to Week 5 and announces 'Brace yourselves!' which he wouldn't have done on the USA version. This was a curious night. It didn't start at all well with several people distinctly uncomfortable with 'Club Night' whatever that meant. and that made uncomfortable viewing, especially if you had a bundle on Janet winning.

Johnny ♫ 8½ ☼ 7
The crowd love this fellow who this time switched the helium on and off and you had to check it was still him singing. You Spin Me Round he did in some ways better than Dead Or Alive, although that's not saying a great deal to be honest. It was just a bit of fun but (1) he did hit the right notes and (2) the audience love him so goodness knows what'll happen. He ought to go in a double eviction but I'm not so sure. There were some surprisingly much weaker performances tonight.

Janet ♫ 9 ☼ 4
I Want You back may well be what all her fans are calling out after this very uncomfortable track. She even forgot some words but recovered professionally and got away with that. Her hair and general look didn't work either and I feel she's totally lost that first image of a star in the making that we all had at the start. No-one's going to buy that as a single. She is very likely to be in the bottom three this week and is vulnerable. Much depends who she's up against if the judges have to choose.

Craig ♫ 7½ ☼ 5
We're In Heaven he sang but we weren't as we watched another good singer who can't dance and sing at the same time. Or shouldn't dance anyway. He missed notes tonight and just looked flabby and silly. Not a pretty sight at all. He may have a marginally greater appeal tonight, though, than Janet and should scrape through. He'd be likely to win a judges' vote against most of the other likely candidates too.

The Risk ♫ 6½ ☼ 7
A Night To Remember. No, a disappointing night as the show dips to lower levels further. The lead is good and really should have been told to stay as the lead and leave the others to do the oo-oos. When he switched to one of the others it went seriously wrong. They could do so much better and you can't forgive them like you can Janet and Craig. They're a pretty popular group of lads, though, amongst voters and I don't see SYCO letting it descend to just the one group just yet so we can assume they'll be here next week.

Marcus ♫ 10 ☼9
Very nearly full marks for Marcus, possibly as much out of relief that the show sprung to life as for anything else. He did an excellent rendition of Jackie Wilson's Reet Petite. A good song choice for him - he enjoyed himself, was natural and absolutely spot-on with the notes, the moves, the lot. Comparing him to the other Marcus, Marcus Canty on X Factor USA, he would have blown that one out of the pond this week.

Kitty ♫ 10 ☼ 7
Like A Prayer. Kitty does Madonna. And does Madonna very well with an excellent vocal and plenty of drama on the stage. She does have a strange facial expression, especially annoying around the eyes and the cheek lines (which maybe due to the botox she admitted to using on XtraFactor). For all that, she doesn't deserve to go this week and I feel the public are actually beginning to warm to her. The judges, oddly, weren't, with Kelly and Louis having a right go at each other over her.

Frankie ♫ 7 ☼ 4
I've Got A Feeling Frankie's going to go tonight if all the polls and papers and boos from the audience are to be believed. As it happens the polls were wrong last week and so were the papers this week, at least about the 'blonde' story at any rate. So it's down to whether he's got a chance of surviving. This performance wasn't at all bad and probably the first reasonably modern interpretation all night. But the judges were dreadfully bad about him, Louis leading the charge and some bad telly with Gary and him arguing. He looked a bit lazy but then I bet Mick Jagger did when he was that age. Because it is highly likely that he'll be in the bottom three and, if he doesn't get the bottom score, he'll be in a vote-off and I can't think of anyone they'll keep against him, I'm afraid he must be on his way out.

Misha B ♫ 9 ☼ 8
Proud Mary was a good number and helped her recover a lot of lost ground from her appearance and attitude last week. She is a great singer, no doubt, and seemed very natural and comfortable on the stage. She also looked much more friendly with good hair and less brutal clothes. Despite her big voice and presence, though, there were times when she was lost behind the backing track. She'll be safely through to next week so she'll not be worrying about that.

Little Mix ♫ 9 ☼ 9
Please Don't Stop The Music they sang and danced and generally impressed everyone. A good, tight, well-rehearsed performance and probably only the second tonight to sound particularly modern. A sure-fire act through to next week. That, of course, makes it tougher by far for the others! I do think they should change their name (again) to L'ilMix, as that's what everyone is going to call them. Sounds cooler, too.