Updates and reviews for X Factor UK, X Factor USA, American Idol, Eurovision and other programmes that appeal to me. Published just for fun and maybe a little outrageous fortune and the entertainment and amusement of readers.
Wednesday, May 26, 2021
Sunday, May 23, 2021
Eurovision: The Result
Here is the full list of points for the entries this year. Many congratulations to Italy, who won the public vote, Switzerland, who won the Jury vote and France who came 2nd in both!
- Italy: Måneskin “Zitti e buoni” 524
- France: Barbara Pravi “Voilà” 499
- Switzerland: Gjon’s Tears “Tout l’Univers” 432
- Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið “10 Years” 378
- Ukraine: Go_A “Shum” 364
- Finland: Blind Channel “Dark Side” 301
- Malta: Destiny “Je me casse” 255
- Lithuania: The Roop “Discoteque” 220
- Russia: Manizha “Russian Woman” 204
- Greece: Stefania “Last Dance” 170
- Bulgaria: Victoria “Growing Up Is Getting Old” 170
- Portugal: The Black Mamba “Love Is on My Side” 153
- Moldova: Natalia Gordienko “Sugar” 115
- Sweden: Tusse “Voices” 109
- Serbia: Hurricane “Loco Loco” 102
- Cyprus: Elena Tsagrinou “El diablo” 94
- Israel: Eden Alene “Set Me Free” 93
- Norway: Tix “Fallen Angel” 75
- Belgium: Hooverphonic “The Wrong Place” 74
- Azerbaijan: Efendi “Mata Hari” 65
- Albania: Anxhela Peristeri “Karma” 57
- San Marino: Senhit feat. Flo Rida “Adrenalina” 50
- Netherlands: Jeangu Macrooy “Birth of a New Age” 11
- Spain: Blas Cantó “Voy a quedarme” 6
- Germany: Jendrik “I Don’t Feel Hate” 3
- United Kingdom: James Newman “Embers” 0
Saturday, May 22, 2021
The Final
Cyprus: Elena Tsagrinou – El Diablo
Every Eurovision contest needs an attractive young lady in a sheer short dress or what looks like a body stocking with a few tassels here and there. Cyprus give us a super example in Elena as well as a commercial pop number that really should make the Top 10. Great way to start the show and she'll get plenty of public support but not much from the juries unless they're into Devil worship.
Albania: Anxhela Peristeri – Karma
Israel: Eden Alene – Set Me Free
Belgium: Hooverphonic – The Wrong Place
Russia: Manizha – Russian Woman
Malta: Destiny – Je me casse
Portugal: The Black Mamba – Love Is On My Side
Serbia: Hurricane – Loco Loco
United Kingdom: James Newman – Embers
Greece: Stefania – Last Dance
Switzerland: Gjon’s Tears – Tout l’univers
Iceland: Daði og Gagnamagnið – 10 Years
Spain: Blas Cantó – Voy A Quedarme
Moldova: Natalia Gordienko – Sugar
Germany: Jendrik – I Don’t Feel Hate
Finland: Blind Channel – Dark Side
Bulgaria: VICTORIA – Growing Up Is Getting Old
Lithuania: The Roop – Discoteque
Ukraine: Go_A – Shum
France: Barbara Pravi – Voilà
Azerbaijan: Efendi – Mata Hari
Norway: TIX – Fallen Angel
The Netherlands: Jeangu Macrooy – Birth Of A New Age
Italy: Måneskin – Zitti E Buoni
Sweden: Tusse – Voices
San Marino: Senhit ft. Flo Rida – Adrenalina
Thursday, May 20, 2021
Eurovision Semi Final 2
This really should be quite easy to predict, compared to the first, at least.
Certain to qualify and at the top of the ten to make the Final are:
Switzerland | Bulgaria | Iceland
Switzerland have been in the top 3 almost since the start of this years reviews. recent performances haven't quite matched the power of the video track and I am not convinced that it will win the Final but a Top Ten Final placing is very much expected and that, of course, means no trouble tonight.
Bulgaria and Iceland also, to a lesser extent. Always expected to be Top Five. Bulgaria could pull off a surprise. Iceland had been expected to win at one point but the song just doesn't quite match the 2020 production and we're quite used the them now so the novelty is wearing off as will some votes. Iceland will also not be live and that, I feel, will harm their chances a little but not enough to stop their advance tonight.
San Marino | Greece | Serbia
These three all feature girls doing what girls like to do - look good in dresses and dance. San Marino have a pretty rubbish song and a pretty rubbish and not very pretty singer but this tiny country has developed an almost cult status now in Eurovision. I think 2021 is the year when they'll get the votes, however little the track deserves it. Some rap guy called Flo Rida, who sounds more like a girl than a drug dealer, joins the girl on stage and he's famous apparently so will also get her a pile of new votes from people who like that stuff.
Greece is a straightforward pop song that would make the charts here if released as a single. It's not as catchy as Cyprus and the girl wears more clothes and sings better. Greece will be there. Serbia have another pop song that would make the charts too. Three very talented and quite sexy girls perform for our pleasure, well, for that of males of a certain inclination. They know what they're doing on stage and it is quite a rare thing now to see people who are familiar with the big stage and live work and can get the notes right. The track itself won't please everyone and that will bring their vote down somewhat but I reckon they'll be there on Saturday night.
Finland
Like Italy but a lot louder and more offensive and kinda stuck in the 1980s. It's rock, for sure, probably well done as Finland would expect, but voters will either love it or hate it and the middle finger reference will surely cost them dear. Withoit that I'd give them a definite Top Ten Final place. With it, just an average place. But they'll get through as the rest are really very crap.
Next we have what is essentially rubbish.
I have to pick three still. It is simpler to say who won't get through, I think. Poland won't despite their huge voting audience. It is simply a totally load of irritating and poorly preseted stuff. Latvia won't as it just doesn't work - the notes are all over the place and no-one will remember the song. Czech Republic's song is called Omiga or something which is pronounced Oh My God and that's all we hear most of the time. It was a familiar phrase back in the early 2000s but it is passé now and the track just doesn't sound cool. No chance. You'll forget Estonia and Georgia very quickly, possibly before they finish. Neither stand much chance tonight, never mind in the Final and you do have to wonder what their nation's were thinking when they decided to enter these tracks.
So we're left with Portugal, Denmark, Austria, Albania and Moldova. Three of these will be in the Final. That's quite a bizarre thought as none of them should be.
Denmark is weird, kinda 1970s. I honestly don't understand what they think they're trying to achieve. But, oddly, they stand a chance as the final act of the evening and that often does better than it deserves. Pleasant enough blokes - and there feels like a dearth of blokes tonight so that could well be in their favour. Let's give Denmark a place then.
If Denmark is weird then Portugal are even weirder - but in a sort of jazz 2020s style. It's a ballad of sorts, song in a strange tone by a strange bloke but he does it very well and it sounds like something that should be on a rare LP rather than a song at Eurovision. It will attract some votes. Enough to get through? The jury's out.
Austria have a big ballad bloke. Again, we need some big ballad blokes, if only to compete with Spain for nearly bottom place (the bookies' view, not mine - I actually rate Spain quite highly). It's a song with about five words and one of those is Amen. Not difficult to remember. It's well sung but very tedious. But not as bad as the others so Austria may get a place.
Moldova always try to entertain us and most years they offer sex to all us men in one way or another. There'll be a short skirt, plenty of flesh on shop further up and big smiles and winks. The people they have given us in the past have actually managed to perform pretty well and genuinely made us smile or respect their nerve, at least. This time we have the blonde girl who wants to be 'sugared'. It sort of works but I fear that the voters will just not go for it tonight. She is definitely holding back on the sex thing, maybe trying not to put off to many female voters or religious types. That means she also loses a lot of the male vote too. Even a Eurovision male vote. It's neither one thing not t'other, as they might say in Yorkshire and I fear this girl will not make it as a result.
Last of the bunch is Albania. Classic Eurovision blonde in a white dress and being quite scary. attractive until you look more closely and realise that she's probably got very sharp elbows and a boyfriend with a big black Mercedes G Class doing big business on the streets of most European capitals. Not many of these have got through this year. We need one, at least so she may get that spot.
So the last few to scrape through merely because the rest aren't good enough are:
Portugal | Denmark | Albania
OK. Let's see.
Update:
Well, Moldova did get some votes after all and, thankfully, Denmark did not! Otherwise 9 preditions are through.
Tuesday, May 18, 2021
Eurovision: Semi Final 1
Later today the first Eurovision Semi Final will be broadcast. Who will make it through to the Final? This is a tough group but here are my predictions:
Very confident about these five:
Malta | Cyprus | Ukraine | Lithuania | Sweden
Undeserved, as not pleasant performances, but they'll still qualify:
Russia | Norway
Likely to sneak through:
Croatia | Romania
And that leaves one more place. Much as I'd like it to be Ireland, and they'd be the bookies' choice to make 10th place, I think either Azerbaijan or North Macedonia will make it. Azerbaijan have a commercial number and a mass of online supporters. North Macedonia have a well-sung ballad which, in this group, is almost unique whereas Azerbaijan have Cyprus and Croatia doing the pop song better. So I'll pick North Macedonia for place 10.
But wish Lesley Roy well!
The juries will already have voted, based on the evening performances last night. From what I can gather, Azerbaijan did well, as did North Macedonia. Ireland, Ukraine and Sweden let themselves down. I can't see this effected Ukraine or Sweden's qualification chances, though, and stick with my predictions as above.
Update 22:10 Tuesday
Well, I was wrong about the bottom three. Watching the show, I can see how Azerbaijan made it through with a very professional and confident performance. In contrast Romania was poor and jumbled, a shadow of what we've seen from the artist before. The big surprise for me is Croatia! The bookies, too, who had Croatia as one of the leaders of the evening, odds plummeting to around 100 at one point. Instead of these two we get Belgium and Israel. Both were uninspiring and I still can't see either making any impact at the Final at all. Azerbaijan could take votes from Cyprus, whose predicted place has already fallen.
I would have expected North Macedonia to make it through in preference to either of those after a stunning and near-perfect ballad from an excellent singer. Maybe just too old-style for Eurovision. Norway got through and was one of the worst of the night.
Ukraine seem to have made a significant impact with a spot-on performance.
Italy still retain the top spot but the dreadful Malta seem to have done themselves no harm with a faultless, if horrible, performance from their act.
We need France to put Malta firmly in her place on the night.
Tuesday, May 11, 2021
Four-way battle to qualify for Ireland, Azerbaijan, Romania and Belgium
Thursday, May 06, 2021
United Kingdom should drop out and give Ireland a chance in Eurovision
With just two weeks to go before we know who makes the Final, and a result on 22 May not much further away, it is a good time to look at how the competitors are performing in the eyes of those seeking to make some money from them. In the past this has been a generally good guide - but the bookies do rather better at predicting the Top 10 than the winner.
At the moment they say it is a three-horse race. Malta has been out in front since the initial release of her track. Very briefly, in March, Switzerland took the top spot but that's been the only change. France is the third member of the group and has always been 2nd or 3rd. Recently, odds have shortened quite significantly for both Malta and France which would seem to indicate that their rehearsals or recent re-issues have gone down well with fans and observers. Malta have a ghastly 'statement song' which I fear may follow the similarly horrible Netta's winner for Israel three years ago. There is a worrying trend here: the 2018 victory for Netta was, to all intents and purposes, two 'Eurovision' years earlier, and before that in 2016, Jamala made a political statement and, two years before that in 2014, we had Conchita doing the girl with a beard statement thing. So Malta have a lot going for them this year.
I just hope the bookies are wrong.
France and Switzerland, in complete contrast, have most impressive songs with most impressive artists and would be well-deserving winners. I get the feeling that France's singer has no problem with a live performance either, whereas Switzerland's may not be quite as familiar to the big stage and this gives France the edge.
Next, in a group their own now, is Italy. They and Finland each have a rock contribution to make and, as the only two of the genre, they'll each pick up bundles of points for that reason alone. Most should go to Italy and their 4th position seems assured and odds have firmed up for them recently which seems to indicate that they can repeat on stage what we see in the videos.
Iceland and Lithuania have to be the next group and, until mid-April they were pretty equally fancied for 5th or 6th place. Each were at one time thought of as potential winners but those hopes faded when the songs were just not going down as well as their 2020 entries had done. There seems to be some residual faith, however, in the lesser 2021 tracks which has kept them in sight of the win. If quirkiness is to be this year's route to the top then either could still take the prize. Iceland would be popular winners, especially with the Eurovision film still very much in people's minds. A pity that song wasn't entered!
Lithuania's odds have drifted a lot recently which, one assumes, is an indication that they're not doing well live or in developing more fans. Iceland are hanging in there and will win the quirky vote.
Bulgaria and Sweden always get mentioned in Top Ten talk nowadays for Eurovision. Bulgaria have had several close calls in recent years and, whether it is a geographic thing or just good choice of material, they grab lots of points each year. Sweden spend so much time and effort in deciding who will represent them that they produce some rather committee-like tracks by competent but slightly boring people as a result. The exceptional doesn't survive that sort of selection process. Once again, Sweden have a good pop song, well produced and sung but it is instantly forgettable and will make little impression. They'll get votes because everyone votes for Sweden except the United Kingdom for Abba. Bulgaria have a modern track, a brave entry but it may be just too quiet or uneventful to score as heavily as it will need to to shift the big Malta girl.
After that, it's a long way down to the first real pop songs. Cyprus and Greece both know what they're doing in this respect and have two good artists and reasonably commercial songs too. I am surprised that neither seems to have gathered much of a following. They'll be Top Ten and, if the voters are in a pop mood, one could win. It's more likely to be Cyprus, who would dearly love to take revenge for Fuego not making it last time out. Greece have seen their odds fade quite a lot from mid-April which makes me wonder that they'll produce the goods live after all.
There's a group of oddities next, with Finland's heavy rock, Norways' ridiculous white angel, Romania's attempt to do a Bulgaria and San Marino, yes, San Marino are very likely to make the Final this year! San Marino have a terribly bad track again but it's just not as terribly bad as previous years and is almost commercial so it will get some votes. Indeed, it's basically the same song that Azerbaijan might have given us but their chances of getting in will depend on who the President's men can bribe rather than the strength of their song this year.
Neither Finland, Norway, Romania nor San Marino will win this year but I would not be surprised to see one or two make the Top Ten and oust a poor effort on the night by one of the preceding countries.
Looking now at who else will qualify, we have to expect to see Russia and Ukraine once more doing battle, although this time on the stage unless Russia takes the opportunity to enter Kharkov while everyone is watching Go-A and their remarkable track. If the traditional and quirky vote in the same way then Ukraine may surprise us all. They could even win but that would probably surprise the band as much as the bookies. Russia have a terrible entry this year. Not something anyone will want to listen to for long. Also from the same part of the world, little Moldova should be there and, as is almost traditional now, there will be some pretty girls encouraging men to do things that men like to do to pretty girls. It is quite extraordinary how much subtlety is missing in Moldova's song writing. It makes me smile, though, and they're very likely to make the cut to the Final.
Israel should make it through with a decent enough pop song that will get a reasonable number of votes if they perform it well in the Semis. Who else gets through from their group is not obvious. the contenders are Belgium, Croatia and Azerbaijan, each with a half-reasonable entry. Croatia's is very commercial and may give them the edge if Belgium's professionalism leaves votes uninspired. Azerbaijan probably have the better entry of the three but their odds have gone very bad in the last day or so. I guess they've cocked up on some performance or not given enough money to some official - or, now I think about it, the higher odds suit those placing bets on them, don't they? Ah, OK, now that might be the reason!
From Group 1 there is just one other country who deserve to be in the Final but, because of the strength of songs in that group, may struggle to get in, and that's Ireland. Their song is brilliant and one of the most commercial in the whole competition. If it gets a chance and the girl performs it well live then there's a good chance that voters could be persuaded. As it stands, not many see or hear her and she simply may not get the chance. She needs to get past both Azerbaijan, Croatia and one of Israel, Ukraine or Belgium to get in. That is a tall order indeed. It probably won't happen which is a great shame.
In complete contrast, the other group has countries like Portugal, Serbia and Denmark which are expected to get through. Maybe Austria instead of one of those. But with Portugal at 370-1 and Austria at 800-1 you can imagine how bad their entries are, which makes it all the more shameful that Ireland can't make it. Despite their unlikely qualification, Ireland are still at around 250-1 whereas Denmark at 600-1 should qualify! Crazy.
Other countries worth mentioning are Australia and North Macedonia. Australia, one tends to think, would get put in the Final purely because of their enthusiasm and support for the competition. It seems slightly rude to say "sorry you're not in" when they've offered to come from the other side of the whole globe. Their song isn't bad but I can only assume that they've messed up big time in recent performances. They're not going to sing live, though, so perhaps they might squeeze in after all but goodness know how far they'll get when they're out at 650-1. North Macedonia appeared to have a really good and talented singer this year, with a prospect of creating another surprise run like they had last time. Voters like quality too. But their odds put them beyond the pale at 850-1 so something really is not going well for them.
So, for the Final, here are my predictions (but not in expected finish order!):
Malta | France | Switzerland
Italy | Iceland | Lithuania
Cyprus | Bulgaria | Sweden | Finland | Norway | Greece | Romania | San Marino
Russia | Moldova | Ukraine
Azerbaijan
Israel | Portugal | Serbia | Austria
Germany | The Netherlands | Spain | United Kingdom
The four at the bottom of this list will get through to the Final automatically (as do France and Italy). Germany has a track that will either do really well or be very much disliked which, as it is called I Don't Like Hate, seems a bit unfair. I had it as a potential winner at the start as I imagined the singer would be someone people would warm to and enjoy watching, with all the rainbow appeal that he exudes. I seem to be wrong, so far, although I still expect him to do better than his 400-1 odds imply.
The Netherlands clearly don't want to host the thing again and have submitted a weird entry that reminds me of Portugal's winner a few years ago but without the edge that had at the time. The singer and colleagues are competent but is is so left field that it's not in the same park this year.
Spain's massive odds of 900-1 are of the order that suggest the world is more likely to end or Christian Scientists are proved right about whatever it is they say. I cannot see why, though. The singer and song seem both excellent to me, if a little sad. But the singer reaches all the notes and the song is well constructed. Quite why it is rated so poorly, and always has been, is a mystery to me. Having said that, I have found Spain's entries really good on several occasions in recent years and yet they have wallowed near or at the bottom of the table each time. Maybe it is just because it's Spain. They've few friends.
Lastly, appropriately enough, my own country, United Kingdom. Dreadful song, meaningless drivel, half-baked effort at a performance. The guy may be nice enough and his brother's done well in the pop scene but this, like his 2020 entry, is just not going anywhere but down at the foot of the right hand side of the ruddy table. It is sad, depressing and bloody annoying too that we cannot send a decent entry to this competition. The whole things seems to be managed by the BBC and they have singularly failed to produce a decent entry year after year after year. We've had the ancient Engelbert Humperdinck and Bonnie Tyler, most of whose fans died years ago. We've had a slew of also-rans, X Factor contestants (not winners, note) and strange new acts we'd never heard of before. Only Jade Ewen, with help from Andrew Lloyd-Webber's writing and production talent and Jessica Garlick have made the Top 10 this Century, that's over 20 years!
We have masses of home-grown talent that is doing well in our charts and who sell all over the world. We really do need to put one of our confident and commercial groups on the stage, with a number that's written well and designed to appeal to Europe. I don't believe that none of our current crop of Top Twenty artists want to represent us in the competition. Yes, it has a certain style and cache about it which some artists do not want to be associated with but the days of Bang Bang-a-bang and Congratulations have long gone. Gimmicks are largely out, unless you're from Moldova, although, quite frankly, just having a reasonably young, appealing and well-known and successful artist representing United Kingdom would be pretty much a gimmick these days.