Eurovision Semi Final 2

 This really should be quite easy to predict, compared to the first, at least. 

Certain to qualify and at the top of the ten to make the Final are:

Switzerland | Bulgaria | Iceland

Switzerland have been in the top 3 almost since the start of this years reviews. recent performances haven't quite matched the power of the video track and I am not convinced that it will win the Final but a Top Ten Final placing is very much expected and that, of course, means no trouble tonight.

Bulgaria and Iceland also, to a lesser extent. Always expected to be Top Five. Bulgaria could pull off a surprise. Iceland had been expected to win at one point but the song just doesn't quite match the 2020 production and we're quite used the them now so the novelty is wearing off as will some votes. Iceland will also not be live and that, I feel, will harm their chances a little but not enough to stop their advance tonight.

San Marino | Greece | Serbia

These three all feature girls doing what girls like to do - look good in dresses and dance. San Marino have a pretty rubbish song and a pretty rubbish and not very pretty singer but this tiny country has developed an almost cult status now in Eurovision. I think 2021 is the year when they'll get the votes, however little the track deserves it. Some rap guy called Flo Rida, who sounds more like a girl than a drug dealer, joins the girl on stage and he's famous apparently so will also get her a pile of new votes from people who like that stuff.

Greece is a straightforward pop song that would make the charts here if released as a single. It's not as catchy as Cyprus and the girl wears more clothes and sings better. Greece will be there. Serbia have another pop song that would make the charts too. Three very talented and quite sexy girls perform for our pleasure, well, for that of males of a certain inclination. They know what they're doing on stage and it is quite a rare thing now to see people who are familiar with the big stage and live work and can get the notes right. The track itself won't please everyone and that will bring their vote down somewhat but I reckon they'll be there on Saturday night.

Finland

Like Italy but a lot louder and more offensive and kinda stuck in the 1980s. It's rock, for sure, probably well done as Finland would expect, but voters will either love it or hate it and the middle finger reference will surely cost them dear. Withoit that I'd give them a definite Top Ten Final place. With it, just an average place. But they'll get through as the rest are really very crap.

Next we have what is essentially rubbish.

I have to pick three still. It is simpler to say who won't get through, I think. Poland won't despite their huge voting audience. It is simply a totally load of irritating and poorly preseted stuff. Latvia won't as it just doesn't work - the notes are all over the place and no-one will remember the song. Czech Republic's song is called Omiga or something which is pronounced Oh My God and that's all we hear most of the time. It was a familiar phrase back in the early 2000s but it is passé now and the track just doesn't sound cool. No chance. You'll forget Estonia and Georgia very quickly, possibly before they finish. Neither stand much chance tonight, never mind in the Final and you do have to wonder what their nation's were thinking when they decided to enter these tracks.

So we're left with  Portugal, Denmark, Austria, Albania and Moldova. Three of these will be in the Final. That's quite a bizarre thought as none of them should be.

Denmark is weird, kinda 1970s. I honestly don't understand what they think they're trying to achieve. But, oddly, they stand a chance as the final act of the evening and that often does better than it deserves. Pleasant enough blokes - and there feels like a dearth of blokes tonight so that could well be in their favour. Let's give Denmark a place then.

If Denmark is weird then Portugal are even weirder - but in a sort of jazz 2020s style. It's a ballad of sorts, song in a strange tone by a strange bloke but he does it very well and it sounds like something that should be on a rare LP rather than a song at Eurovision. It will attract some votes. Enough to get through? The jury's out.

Austria have a big ballad bloke. Again, we need some big ballad blokes, if only to compete with Spain for nearly bottom place (the bookies' view, not mine - I actually rate Spain quite highly). It's a song with about five words and one of those is Amen. Not difficult to remember. It's well sung but very tedious. But not as bad as the others so Austria may get a place.

Moldova always try to entertain us and most years they offer sex to all us men in one way or another. There'll be a short skirt, plenty of flesh on shop further up and big smiles and winks. The people they have given us in the past have actually managed to perform pretty well and genuinely made us smile or respect their nerve, at least. This time we have the blonde girl who wants to be 'sugared'. It sort of works but I fear that the voters will just not go for it tonight. She is definitely holding back on the sex thing, maybe trying not to put off to many female voters or religious types. That means she also loses a lot of the male vote too. Even a Eurovision male vote. It's neither one thing not t'other, as they might say in Yorkshire and I fear this girl will not make it as a result.

Last of the bunch is Albania. Classic Eurovision blonde in a white dress and being quite scary. attractive until you look more closely and realise that she's probably got very sharp elbows and a boyfriend with a big black Mercedes G Class doing big business on the streets of most European capitals. Not many of these have got through this year. We need one, at least so she may get that spot.

So the last few to scrape through merely because the rest aren't good enough are:

Portugal | Denmark | Albania

OK. Let's see.

Update:

Well, Moldova did get some votes after all and, thankfully, Denmark did not! Otherwise 9 preditions are through.