X factor: Week 6

You could have turned on at 9:24pm and not missed anything. Apart from Rebecca's outstanding Candle In The Wind, which could have been downright boring but seriously wasn't, this was a pretty tedious show tonight. I suppose you can't expect much with Mary and Wagner still there. Even Dermot seemed tired.

Paije 7
Crocodile Rock. I bet he's scared of balloons bursting. Maybe that explains why he was looking nervously at them all over the stage around him. He didn't seem to be having much fun and it was a pretty average, well, below average job.

Aiden 9
Naturally talented this guy. He adjusted the flow of the song and it worked although walking over the specially set-up planks on top of the piano was a bit strange. He's an intriguing entrant, a sort of quieter Adam Lambert / David Cook from AI9 and 8. They did well. He's yet to come alight, you know, give that totally winning performance that is needed to close the gap on Matt, Rebecca and Cher.

Mary 6
Yawn. a whole load better than last week, though. Notes good but she's just not got that X factor unless you're over 70. Seriously, can you imagine thousands of X Factor fans rushing to dial her number? They'll need wheels on their zimmer frames.

Katie 8
Saturday Night's Alright For Fighting. Looking a lot better this evening but this girl's not the rock chick I expected. I really did think she'd have come out fighting and socked it to us in style, especially as, if voting stats are to be believed she's going to be struggling anyway tomorrow. Pity.

Matt 10
The Yellow Brick Road. Damned difficult track to sing. He did OK but nothing magical tonight. I guess we're all expecting better after what he's done so far. He'll be safe, though.

Cher 12
Sorry seems to be the hardest word. No-one seems to be doing well with Elton's numbers tonight. Nice variation as we've come to expect from this girl and the most relevant so far but still not exactly right. She's surely still in the running, though, for the top spot and we'll hear a lot more from her yet.

Wagner 1
I feel sorry for all the youngsters who go to the XFactor shows which he is seriously going to ruin. At least #jedward were funny. It would work far better if he didn't actually try and just giggled instead of leering at the ladies. I thought this guy was supposed to be an opera-style singer. In which case, why the hell didn't he do something with Circle of Life. Honestly, the 1 point was for the girl in a red dress appearing to walk him to his spot making me smile.

Wand Erection 12
Harry and the boys kept Zahn out of the limelight sufficiently well to put on a nice performance. Nice, rather than groovy but, boy, do the girls love 'em! Glad I put some money on them when the odds were reasonable.
Peter Dickinson (the Voice) has obviously been told to emphasise the Die in Direction but Dermot still keeps the Wand alive.

Rebecca 18
Classy performance. In fact, the performance of the night. By a mile. By a hundred miles.