The problem with tonight's show was always going to be having to listen to Wagner and Mary ruining good songs again. Before that, though, we could gaze at Nicole from Pussy Cat Dolls and wondering what had happened to the Cat Dolls then.
The Wanted already looked slightly ridiculous climbing steps and then bumper cars appeared for no apparent reason at all. This was a boy band who'd managed to avoid the naff limelight but I guess the dosh from kicking off a show watched by millions is enough to influence anyone. In the 1960s we could have had Grateful Dead. One thing they did was to show Wand Erection just how much better they'll need to get to get more than a Christmas hit and an album or two. This is going to be a tough night to watch, not just the miming but with two going, one of them not being Wagner would mean talent like Rebecca and Katie being vulnerable.
Justin Bieber follows and the intro seems to take longer than his actual performance, if you can call mouthing along badly to a backing track. Pretty smart dance routine, though. You have to hand it to them, that was well-produced.
Dermot is just one cool host for this show, with just the right amount of cheek and unscripted lines. He also manages an expression at times which says exactly what he's thinking but daredn't say, such as "We'd better get Justin out of here before he gets torn about" but with an expression that implied it wouldn't be the girls in the audience that would be doing the grabbing. One great leer that the person choosing which camera to show live will probably get fired for showing so finely.
Breaking the news to Katie was fairly easy and she went, victim of just about every tabloid newspaper's muck-raking. Well-spoken, calm in exit and probably relieved not to have to sing-plead yet again. That left Wagner v Mary and at last, at long, long last . . . he's gone.